Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
The night before my grandpa’s funeral, everyone gathered at Grandma’s. And I mean everyone- my sister came from North Carolina. My aunt came from D.C. My cousin got permission to leave rehab for a few days to be there. Her parents, who never show up for anything, were there.

So, a thing my husband noticed during this gathering of wayward souls is that my family...ALWAYS...eats chili when we’re together. I mean, with the exception of holiday dinners. And so we ate chili and rice and caught up with each other. My kids played in the yard in the dark and the heavy fog until midnight while I got to have adult conversations

My sister (older by three years) thought this would be a great time to corner me and air some grievances. Things that happened literally half a lifetime ago. And longer than that- like when I was six and punched her and then started crying so that She got in trouble. She’s been angry about that since it happened, and...ok, she was a bully. I was six. Why on earth am I STILL apologizing for it over 20 years later? Nobody knows.

The thing about my sister is that she remembers everything very differently than the entire rest of our family, and I’ve never yet figured out if she’s just a pathological liar, a sociopath, or was just very hurt by something as a kid and it made her this way. I don’t know. What I do know is that when I stopped talking to her four years ago, it was a huge relief to not be constantly bombarded by her negativity and insults. It took some time for me to realize I’m not the weak, mean spirited jerk she insisted I am, and it was hard to be around her again.

Meanwhile, back at the farm...or maybe the loony bin...I realized my whole family is nuts. Including me. My mom has a restraining order against my cousin (something about a stolen checkbook) and so, when I saw them greet each other with a hug, it seemed like a good idea to ask them “Doesn’t that violate the restraining order?” Luckily they took it as a joke...

My cousin told a story about getting so used to automatic flushing toilets in jail (or rehab?) that she was having trouble remembering to flush, and Grandma walked in at the last part and asked her to repeat it...which was hilarious because my grandmother is not the kind of lady you discuss jail, toilets, or rehab with.

My mom and her sisters sat around the dining table comparing their gray hair and pompously announcing that they’ll never dye it again, while poking fun at each other for looking so old.

My uncles entertained my husband and my brother with stories of all the times they blew stuff up and almost killed each other (those events only coincided sometimes).

And, when I was not busy restraining myself from kicking my sister in the knee...I was listening. I moved around to every little group and soaked up their stories, their laughter, their memories. I asked questions, and paid attention to the things that made them smile, or frown. I hugged everyone (some of them for the first time ever), and I sat quietly with Grandma in the midst of the sorrow and joy. Joy, because we were more complete than we’d ever been...sorrow, because the man who was the foundation for us all wasn’t there to quietly observe, or dump a gallon of pepper on his dinner, or interject a relevant but highly inappropriate story that would make Grandma cover her mouth and pretend not to laugh while the rest of us were cracking up.

My family is crazy. And loud. And often bossy, temperamental, and just weird. But we all knew the value of Grandpa’s character, hard work, generosity, and quiet service to others, and as I watched and listened, I knew each of us had a part of him- his humor, his temper, his loyalty, his big heart, his toughness, his love of the land and his family.

I know this is long...but it’s the first time I’ve really had a chance to process the past week and let out some of what’s in my head.
MissCris... you are the only person on here whose long posts I try to stop reading but can't.. :rolleyes:
 
M

MissCris

Guest
It feels like spring cleaning time. That, or bulldoze the place and start from scratch. I’m not picky, whatever works.

Right. Off to work I go.

...soon.

(10 minutes of staring blankly out the window later)

Not off to a real great start here, am I? Maybe I should make a list first. That’ll take another 10 minutes. And then the vacuum is clogged, so probably half an hour to find a screw driver, open up the vacuum, unclog it, and put it back together. Then my nails need painted because...because. I need a new pair of jeans, too, to go with the shoes I bought on clearance on our trip, so it’ll take at least an hour to find a decent pair on Amazon that has pockets.

By the time I start actually cleaning, it will be officially spring.

...or I could just do it. Yeah. I’m not sure if procrastination is an art form, or a disease.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
"Anticipation..."

Why does it take forever and 3 days between when you set a surprise in motion and when it finally drops? One day takes a lifetime.

What the world needs is a good teleporter.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
Goodnight everyone and may God bless you all!
 
M

MissCris

Guest
Facebook dredged up this collage I made two years ago. Past me had no idea Future me would need this, but Present me is glad Past me knew how to clear the brain fog and deal with things better than Present me is doing it now. Future me would probably appreciate it if Present me would act a little more like Past me.

59D993C5-0333-434B-822C-D0A2FD77D6CC.jpg
 
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toinena

Guest
Can conciousness stream through a mind full of fluff?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,715
113
Can conciousness stream through a mind full of fluff?
Fluff collects in the common hallway outside my apartment door. It obviously comes from my cat, trod out on the soles of my shoes. Sometimes I wonder why the person whose job it is to vacuum the hallways, consistently leaves my cat's fluff outside my door, leaving it for me to clean up :D It's no big deal, I just wonder why they don't do their job. Are they allergic to cats, perhaps? It's a possibility.

I woke up today feeling a bit fluffy in the brain :eek: It did not feel like Friday. It did not feel like any day. I pondered this. Am I not sleeping well? Well, no, actually, I rarely sleep well, yet still feel and function normally, so that cannot be it :D By not sleeping well, I mean, it is often interrupted. For instance, last night after less than two hours of sleep, I awoke thinking it was much later than not yet one a.m.... I decided to have a bath, and was back in bed well before two, only to awake again around four, thinking surely it is time to get up? Uh, no, not yet; my alarm rings just before seven.

Then by the time I was dressed and well on my way to work, I realized I had forgotten to bring my purse. Again I pondered this. Why and how had I forgotten this part of my daily routine? I think it was because I put my scarf on before my shoes. Yes, little things like this can throw me off. My normal routine is to put my shoes on before my scarf and coat, followed by my purse, before walking out the door, but today I put my scarf on before my shoes. Can it really be something as simple as that? I don't know. I did miss the weight and pressure of it on my shoulder as I walked to my car, and the pressure it creates across my back, causing my outer garment to hug me more warmly.

At least it is sunny today. Yesterday it rained all day. Perhaps the sunshine
will help chase the fluffiness away. The rain sure as heck did not :)
 
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toinena

Guest
Fluff can be cured by a good night's rest. I am not sure about the fluff outside your door, though
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,415
2,659
113
this week was a little too busy at work.

I need 823948392 naps this weekend.
 
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NoNameMcgee

Guest
Major changes happening in my life and I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be on here over the next few months.

Anyways thank you to everyone here. :D

It has been wonderful getting to know so many brothers and sisters in Christ, may God bless all of you greatly.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
Major changes happening in my life and I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be on here over the next few months.

Anyways thank you to everyone here. :D

It has been wonderful getting to know so many brothers and sisters in Christ, may God bless all of you greatly.
Hopes everything goes well. Hurry back, bro!! God bless.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
Keep us updated if you can! :rolleyes: And thanks for all the reps. Gonna miss u being around.. :(
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,782
841
113
53
Major changes happening in my life and I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be on here over the next few months.

Anyways thank you to everyone here. :D

It has been wonderful getting to know so many brothers and sisters in Christ, may God bless all of you greatly.
I kinda had to fight with myself whether or not to hit the like button lil bro...but I did...because I love you very much! Gonna miss seeing your posts! Keep growing in Him and check in when you can...

I'm so hoping that God answers your hearts desires as I'm sure He will....if they're good for you and line up with His will for your life!

I won't cry...nope...not gonna do it. Waaaaaaah!
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
16,724
10,529
113
77
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
Major changes happening in my life and I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be on here over the next few months.

Anyways thank you to everyone here. :D

It has been wonderful getting to know so many brothers and sisters in Christ, may God bless all of you greatly.

We'll pray for you NoNameMcgee, you do the same for us. It's been a pleasure posting with you.

 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,715
113
Major changes happening in my life and I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be on here over the next few months.

Anyways thank you to everyone here. :D

It has been wonderful getting to know so many brothers and sisters in Christ, may God bless all of you greatly.
You will be greatly missed Jaime. You have been a tremendous asset to the spreading of the Truth of God's revealed written Word, and the love of the Living Word of God. I am so thankful for having gotten to know you as I have, and treasure the connection we made with each other as brother and sister in Christ. Best of luck to you in your new ventures! May God continue to richly bless you, as surely you have been greatly blessed, and to those who have, He gives more!


 
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joefizz

Guest
Major changes happening in my life and I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be on here over the next few months.

Anyways thank you to everyone here. :D

It has been wonderful getting to know so many brothers and sisters in Christ, may God bless all of you greatly.
I know the feeling I'm thinking on major changes in my life too,and if not for Christian Chat I probably would be at the brink of insanity,I hope you'll be back soon!