November 15, 2018
In Facebook I saw this: “Why what is about romance? Is but natural for lovers to have romance especially to married people?” But since 1990 I have been teaching and counseling for Ephesians 5 marriages. Most marriages in the USA were not Holy Spirit urged marriages. In other words, they were not marriages put together by God, but were put together because of selfish sexual desires (not agapè LOVE Holy Spirit urged) because of lack of knowledge about what are the requirements of a God-pleasing marriage. But later I responded to the word “natural” in that statement in Facebook by indicating that means just common. But God wants better for His adopted children which is supernatural living. The latter actually means “above the natural”. What does that mean, in church and outside church? Refer to Bible verses or/and passages.
I'll argue for the other side of the coin on the marriage issue. There is this guy named Doug on YouTube who is always talking about supernatural experiences, a vision of a 'red dragon.' I saw a video of his own marriage, and the gist of his belief is that if you marry someone and Jesus did not tell you to marry him or her, that you may not really be genuinely married in the eyes of God.
I find that kind of thinking dangerous. God ordained marriage in Genesis. In the Torah, fathers are entrusted with getting their daughter's married off. The father accepts the bride price for virgins. In Jewish tradition, women had to consent to marriage, too. Rebekah consented before marrying Isaac. It seems unlikely that most marriages in the Old Testament were put together because someone sensed God was supernaturally pushing him or her to marry another person. In the case of Isaac and Rebekah, Abraham prayed for God to send an angel before his servant, and the servant experienced a spectacular answer to prayer that indicated for him and the others involved that it was God's will for Rebekah to marry Isaac.
As the captivity began, the Lord spoke through a prophet to the captives in Babylon to find wives for their sons and husbands for their daughters. Again, this is a 'mundane' way of finding spouses, but in line with the plan God set in motion in Genesis.
It's great if the Lord directs you to get married to a certain individual. With my wife, we both sensed the Lord was in us getting married. I prayed about it and sensed the Lord was speaking to me, but I wish now I had had more faith that it was God. After I'd prayed through and I was absolutely confident to propose, that it was the will of God, someone prophesied over us that we would go to many places and minister to many people. So, yes, there was some 'supernatural stuff' in my experience.
But on the other hand, Paul tells Christians, 'If you marry, you have not sinned." There are a lot of things we need to be concerned about in choosing who to marry, but if we do all that right, it is not a sin to marry. You do not have to have a supernatural experience direct you in who to marry for your marriage to be legitimate.
And according to the Bible, it is better to marry than to burn. If you cannot contain, get married. So getting married because of lust-- if done right, that may be a legitimate reason. At least, it is legitimate to get married because the struggle with temptation is too great as opposed to choosing life-long celibacy. But Christians should marry Christians and stay celibate before marriage or for life if they never marry. I'd also say getting direction from God on who to marry is better than not doing so. It is important to pray and get peace about major life decisions, and marriage certainly qualifies as one.
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