...I have some residual obstinance seeping over from the bdf... My apologies. I don't transition well go from here to there and back again, and I get disoriented.
But that does bring up the question, why are singles seem to possess so much better sportsmanship? I would've have certainly got at least a bump if not a spike or two in the bdf...
This is just my own opinion, and I could very well be wrong...
I think the major difference between Singles and the BDF is that the Singles Forum is more about getting to know each other as people, rather than displaying spiritual knowledge.
I'm not trying to say at all that the BDF is bad because of that -- I occasionally lurk there to follow a few favorite posters -- but from what I can see, most of what's exchanged there are Biblical philosophies and a mission to prove to everyone else that one is superior over the other. ("One ring to rule them all...")
I say "Biblical philosophies" because I personally (and again, this is just me,) do not believe that anyone can interpret God's Word 100% correctly, simply because we all have the filter of sin built into us from conception.
If you shine a pure beam of light through smudged glass, the light that comes through on the other side will never be as pure as the beam that entered it. (I realize I could be wrong, but this is just what I believe.)
When I go to the BDF, I'm looking for people who believe this way as well. I want to learn from people who know they might be getting something wrong, and are willing to state that -- but I don't see it there very often. (I'm not saying that the BDF isn't helpful at all -- I'm sure it's been very helpful for many people, as we are all different.)
Here in Singles, we get to know each other, whereas in the BDF, you get to know what participants believe and will defend to the death -- but never much about the actual people themselves.
I write most of my threads in a way that (I hope) encourages people to share about themselves. And when we get a group of regulars who know each other's likes and dislikes, triumphs and failures (you definitely don't see many people admitting to failure in the BDF,) families and histories, jokes, both good and bad...
Well... I think it becomes a lot harder to insult someone when you know all about their mee maw and stories from their childhood and the fact that they are vulnerable to certain things.
You come to see other posters as not just names and avatars, but as breathing, real-life human beings. You learn how to talk to, comfort, encourage, and joke around with them, and I think that at least cuts down SOME of the insults that might get slung around...
I've always thought that most BDF regulars don't hang out here because it can get uncomfortable to become familiar with the more human side of an "enemy" (someone who doesn't believe the exact same things as they do.) And, our topics and goals here (trying to build a community) might not interest most in the BDF, which is completely understandable. We're all built for different things.
Now of course, it certainly doesn't mean we don't get a few outliers, and we certainly get our share of arguments -- but I think it's easier to disagree in a respectful manner when you see someone as a friend. Here in Singles, I think we put in a lot of effort into showing all the ways in which we are well-rounded, fellow human beings, not just a belief that needs to be defended. I always say that the BDF is the sermon and Bible lesson of the day, and Singles is the Coffee, Donuts, And Fellowship Hour afterwards.
I have a thread idea I've been tossing around for well over a year, but it's a serious subject and I keep putting it off because I know it's going to attract a lot of people (outside our regular group) who just want to complain about the opposite gender.
I know the majority of regulars here in Singles aren't like that, praise God. I'm very thankful that even though the crowd is always changing, we always seem to attract some good-hearted people who stick around for at least a few more threads.
So even when I want to throw out more controversial topics, I'm much more hesitant to do so now (versus in the past,) just because I don't want to disrupt the "fellowship" vibe the regulars have been working so hard to build in Singles.