Virgin at 23.

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Gary said:
It amazes me that trolls continue to get responses/advice. When are you people ever going to learn?
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One very cool thing though is that it shows we have a lot of people here with kind, compassionate hearts who really want to help and are willing to take the time to reach out to another person.

Another telltale thing about the former user I'm thinking of is that along with virginity and sex, he also had a fascination with Japanese anime, so this current very Japanese-sounding username was also something that caught my eye.

But he was here long before even some of the most prominent current forum posters, and so they would have no way of knowing or recognizing any of these little things that make a person go "Hmm..."
 
seoulsearch said:
One very cool thing though is that it shows we have a lot of people here with kind, compassionate hearts who really want to help and are willing to take the time to reach out to another person.

Another telltale thing about the former user I'm thinking of is that along with virginity and sex, he also had a fascination with Japanese anime, so this current very Japanese-sounding username was also something that caught my eye.

But he was here long before even some of the most prominent current forum posters, and so they would have no way of knowing or recognizing any of these little things that make a person go "Hmm..."
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It's true that this type thread is started at least twice a month by "new" users next it will be a regurgitation of the women are demon shape shifters thread XD lol.....why do people waste time on the internet with pointless threads starting only to troll forums??.....many people must have very boring lives or not want to better themselves imo......
 
P.S. If I happen to be wrong (and again, Original Poster, please let me know if I am), I know what I'll be having for Christmas dinner this year.

One single-size, all-you-can-eat helping of crow, coming right up.
 
seoulsearch said:
I truly wish you the best, I honestly do.

And if I'm wrong, please forgive me, but before I put forth the time and effort into answering, I would like to ask one question.

Are you DotHackZero?

Your original post sounds like a carbon copy of a former user here.

Again, I sincerely apologize if I am wrong, and will give a more detailed answer then. I give you nothing but kudos for holding on to your convictions.

But I'd also like to cut to the chase first just in case before seeing this possibly get dragged out again... and again... and again, because this user had a habit of asking the same questions about virginity and seeking a virgin repeatedly, no matter what or how many people answered.

If you are not Dot, I shall surely apologize profusely several times and hang my head in shame.
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nope I'm not dothack. I was searching online and just came across this site yesterday. Just wondering what others thought since my views are shifting.
 
Oh I actually like anime too :) my favorite ^^ taka I came up with because of anime but shuei a friend nicknamed me that. In highschool so I use it for games and other stuff. :)
 
Nope not this guy. Hmm I replied to your post already but I'm still not sure how to search through this site so I am not sure where I send it too. Well I'm not the same guy but I do watch anime too :) I like it. I got taka from anime and my name is gem a friend in highschool who nicknamed me that.
 
Hmmm that's what I do actually. I get to know people then ask about how many boyfriends they have had me how many years. If they seem to like to date a lot and usually have long relationships then it seems like they are just fooling around to me and aren't sure what they want still. so that's when I just consider them as friends and nothing else.
 
Ugly said:
My issue with the whole 'only marry a virgin' idea is that you are, in a sense, deeming people unworthy or less than for things they may have done in the past and stopped doing. If a girl has sex, then later gets saved and stops having sex. Is a wonderful person and devoted Christian, now she is deemed not worth considering for marriage because of what she did in the past.
This severely limits your choices.

The issue i've observed with people of your mentality, and who are virgins themselves, is that they are unable to cope with the idea that the person they are with was with another. It seems a sort of intolerance and inability to deal with real life situations.

At the end of the day, if you find a solid Christian woman, and she has had sex in the past, but gave it up after getting saved, or even if she made a mistake while saved and repented, the person she's with in the present will be her focus, not those in her past.

While it is genuinely commendable that you have remained a virgin, don't let the fact that you haven't made mistakes in a certain area mean that those who have are any less than you. Because at the end of the day we are All sinners and we All are in need of salvation. Peoples pasts should be just that, their past. God has forgiven them and left their past behind, who are we to hold their past against them and think we are somehow being 'more Christian' by doing undoing God's forgiveness?
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Thank you but to me what you just said shows me that i should just have fun and hang out with girls. Since I can repent later like everyone else. I mean what you call repent I doubt many see it that way. In most peoples minds, including christians, Many have sex and have fun and afterwards they want to settle down and find someone who they truly feel like they will have a bond with. So basically people just have several relationships and focus in who they find attractive and they confuse what they assume is love for lust. This is what leads many to have several relationships which involves sex as well. Since after all today people have sex with usually each boyfriend they have been with for what they assume has been a good while and let there lust have it's way. Then they find out they aren't the one and go seperate ways. Then once they finally take things slow and start actually searching is when they find the one they want. But I don't see most people as actually repent because they are just finally ready to settle down with someone who really cares about them and have a family. They don't really think about or are deeply sorry for having fun. Sure some are but do you believe most actually are? Because there are many christians who afterall just have fun which in reality make a few christians who are actually Ernest in there love for god.so those few to me tend to forgive and fall for another guy who had sex already and wants to settle down making it harder. In truth this just shows me that there isn't anything wrong with having sex and having fun because afterwards when I want to settle down and find someone who I want to make a family with then I'll just stop having fun and start searching for someone kind because after all most likely they would have already have had sex with 1-3 different guys I'll assume. Well thank you for your reply ^^ I am thankful. I'll keep thinking but my view towards sex is changing due to how most of society is. I'm almost at the point where I just feel like sex isn't really all that important. Afterall it's just sex right? What matters is that you too care for each other even though you have slept with several other people. The last shouldn't matter as long as you love each other now. Hmm I'll think about it. Maybe flings aren't so bad for now right? Take care and thank you for your time ^^ I do appreciate it. I think I'm not gonna overthink this whole virgin thing anymore.
 
Hahah don't worry I wouldn't curse you ^^ it's too much of a hassle and you kindly replied to the post so I really appreciate it. You seem cool and I like you anyways
 
Well thank you everyone ^^ I found my answer somewhat. I'll just go with how I truly feel inside. Take care everyone and hope you all have a wonderful day and take care. Appreciate you taking the time to reply. Goodbye :)
 
Hmm... Shueitaka what you said in post #29 about having a fling and repenting afterward, that is an amazingly bad idea. God said to stay away from such things because they are going to cause you trouble, not just so God could see if you're going to follow a list of rules and be "good enough" to get to Heaven.

If you want to have flings that's your choice, but you gonna have problems coming from those flings. And it won't be God sending punishments for breaking God's rules, it will just be the natural result of what you did.
 
Lynx said:
Hmm... Shueitaka what you said in post #29 about having a fling and repenting afterward, that is an amazingly bad idea. God said to stay away from such things because they are going to cause you trouble, not just so God could see if you're going to follow a list of rules and be "good enough" to get to Heaven.

If you want to have flings that's your choice, but you gonna have problems coming from those flings. And it won't be God sending punishments for breaking God's rules, it will just be the natural result of what you did.
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Hmm well flings would be with someone who also is interested in just a fling and nothing else. As long as you have safe sex like everyone else does with all there relationships then I really don't see what other troubles it could cause. I'm not gonna search like crazy either but if something comes up and the moment is right then why not I guess. That's what most of society does anyways. Seeing how everyone has sex at a very young age in the u.s. They just have flings. I'll just be safe about it and have an understanding. This mentality feels better and doesn't give me so much trouble since I kept overthinking that specific thing. So I'll just go with whatever life puts and live life I guess. Then again I'm not too social so who knows. Maybe it won't come up that soon but like they said. I'll just stop thinking about having a virgin girl and just have fun and find someone I like. Since usually people don't seem too troubled doing that. Trouble only comes when you aren't having safe sex or cheat on your partner. As for heaven, everyone sins and like they said in the posts. Sex and other sins are sins of the same so you sin daily either way. So having sex like people do is the same as other sins. I also agree with you. Anything that does happen won't be gods fault. I don't blame God for anything in my life since he doesn't usually interfere with life's. Bad things don't happen because he wants them and I consider it stupid to blame him. Things happen due to a cause and effect. Not because God thought it would be nice to punish. People punish themselves or humans cause harm to others. Not god. Thank you for your concern ^^ I won't go crazy and have flings left and right. Not even sure if I want a fling yet since thinking about it sounds like such a hassle. I'm really lazy .0.0 so I don't tend to do things that make me put so much effort. But if something ever presents itself and a fling or something is possible then I guess I'll see what I decide in the moment. I'm not gonna consider sex as anything else since it's just the bodies lust and chemicals which create those feelings. I'll look for someone along the way who I value and would die for but having sex I don't think I consider it sacred anymore. It's pointless to tell you the truth. Like someone said what she or I do in the past shouldn't matter in today's society since most don't care anyways. Even though most are supposed christians to begin with.
 
Ooooh boy are YOU in for a surprise! You'll find out it's more than just chemicals.

Good luck, and we await your thread in a few months complaining about that clingy girl who keeps blowing up your phone with 2,000 text messages a day. :rolleyes:

What? That won't happen to you? Well maybe not. But if you don't get in a lot of relationship trouble you'll be the first I've ever seen to play it the way you say you intend to play it and NOT have a lot of girlfriend grief.
 
You'll live, Shueitaka.I'm 10 years older than you and also a virgin. I had my first girlfriend just a little before I turned 31. It didn't work out. You'll live.
 
For some reason this whole thread reminds me of a webcomic I saw. It has a cuss word in it so I'll quote it here instead of linking to it. (It's legit, the author says unauthorized reproduction is encouraged.)

Three people sitting around talking:
"Man, sex has all these crazy social rules. All they do is create drama."
"Let's agree to change them and make sex simple."
"Okay."
"Hooray! We've solved the problem of drama! I'll go tell everyone."

(Dramatic increase in world drama level)

Guy who went to tell everyone comes back, closes the door and leans against it.
"Wow... Guys... People are COMPLICATED!"
 
Shueitaka said:
Hmm well flings would be with someone who also is interested in just a fling and nothing else. As long as you have safe sex like everyone else does with all there relationships then I really don't see what other troubles it could cause. I'm not gonna search like crazy either but if something comes up and the moment is right then why not I guess. That's what most of society does anyways. Seeing how everyone has sex at a very young age in the u.s. They just have flings. I'll just be safe about it and have an understanding. This mentality feels better and doesn't give me so much trouble since I kept overthinking that specific thing. So I'll just go with whatever life puts and live life I guess. Then again I'm not too social so who knows. Maybe it won't come up that soon but like they said. I'll just stop thinking about having a virgin girl and just have fun and find someone I like. Since usually people don't seem too troubled doing that. Trouble only comes when you aren't having safe sex or cheat on your partner. As for heaven, everyone sins and like they said in the posts. Sex and other sins are sins of the same so you sin daily either way. So having sex like people do is the same as other sins. I also agree with you. Anything that does happen won't be gods fault. I don't blame God for anything in my life since he doesn't usually interfere with life's. Bad things don't happen because he wants them and I consider it stupid to blame him. Things happen due to a cause and effect. Not because God thought it would be nice to punish. People punish themselves or humans cause harm to others. Not god. Thank you for your concern ^^ I won't go crazy and have flings left and right. Not even sure if I want a fling yet since thinking about it sounds like such a hassle. I'm really lazy .0.0 so I don't tend to do things that make me put so much effort. But if something ever presents itself and a fling or something is possible then I guess I'll see what I decide in the moment. I'm not gonna consider sex as anything else since it's just the bodies lust and chemicals which create those feelings. I'll look for someone along the way who I value and would die for but having sex I don't think I consider it sacred anymore. It's pointless to tell you the truth. Like someone said what she or I do in the past shouldn't matter in today's society since most don't care anyways. Even though most are supposed christians to begin with.
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It doesn't work this way. Firstly, you shouldn't treat the mercy and grace of God so flippantly. To plan to sin and to then repent afterwards is like playing a game of Russian roulette. Don't discount the seriousness of hardening your heart and conscience through wilfull sin. Secondly, all sin has consequences. We may receive forgiveness and salvation, but we may destroy our earthly life due to bad choices. Since when are we supposed to follow the crowd and make major life decisions based on what others are doing? Look around you, how many truly happy people do you know?
 
Shueitaka said:
Thank you but to me what you just said shows me that i should just have fun and hang out with girls. Since I can repent later like everyone else. I mean what you call repent I doubt many see it that way. In most peoples minds, including christians, Many have sex and have fun and afterwards they want to settle down and find someone who they truly feel like they will have a bond with. So basically people just have several relationships and focus in who they find attractive and they confuse what they assume is love for lust. This is what leads many to have several relationships which involves sex as well. Since after all today people have sex with usually each boyfriend they have been with for what they assume has been a good while and let there lust have it's way. Then they find out they aren't the one and go seperate ways. Then once they finally take things slow and start actually searching is when they find the one they want. But I don't see most people as actually repent because they are just finally ready to settle down with someone who really cares about them and have a family. They don't really think about or are deeply sorry for having fun. Sure some are but do you believe most actually are? Because there are many christians who afterall just have fun which in reality make a few christians who are actually Ernest in there love for god.so those few to me tend to forgive and fall for another guy who had sex already and wants to settle down making it harder. In truth this just shows me that there isn't anything wrong with having sex and having fun because afterwards when I want to settle down and find someone who I want to make a family with then I'll just stop having fun and start searching for someone kind because after all most likely they would have already have had sex with 1-3 different guys I'll assume. Well thank you for your reply ^^ I am thankful. I'll keep thinking but my view towards sex is changing due to how most of society is. I'm almost at the point where I just feel like sex isn't really all that important. Afterall it's just sex right? What matters is that you too care for each other even though you have slept with several other people. The last shouldn't matter as long as you love each other now. Hmm I'll think about it. Maybe flings aren't so bad for now right? Take care and thank you for your time ^^ I do appreciate it. I think I'm not gonna overthink this whole virgin thing anymore.
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There are a lot of 'Christian by label' people. Those are not the ones i'm talking about. I did say 'solid Christian woman' implying one who is sincerely following God, not one using a religious label.
Also, your automatic assumption is that all people who fall into this are doing it purposefully and intentionally, but for some people it's also a genuine struggle. Paul even spoke of people who struggled so badly that they 'should' get married because their desires were too strong to control.

As a non-virgin myself, i can tell you that one thing rarely mentioned is the regret that goes along with losing your virginity. It's a door that, once opened, can be very difficult to close again. And a lifetime of regret can go along with it. One of my biggest regrets in life is losing my virginity at a young age. It's lead to lots of other issues throughout my life.

I'm not sure if you're trolling or that you stopped caring about yourself and your life and your walk with God. If it's a matter of no longer caring, brace yourself for a lifetime of shame and regret if you continue down the path you're talking about. You speak as if you have a clue, when in reality you are a blind man trying to make decisions about things you know nothing about. And using liars and fakes as your guide. But if that's the path you choose, then the consequences are on you and you alone. Remember that in 10 years.
 
Shueitaka said:
Well thank you everyone ^^ I found my answer somewhat. I'll just go with how I truly feel inside. Take care everyone and hope you all have a wonderful day and take care. Appreciate you taking the time to reply. Goodbye :)
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Shue,

I sincerely apologize to you and want to give you mad respect for being so incredibly easy-going about this.

Once again, I must emphasize that I wholeheartedly apologize to you. I am very sorry and hope you will find it in your heart to accept my apology.

If you change your mind about writing me a PM to chew me out, I will surely understand!!!

It seems that several others have already given you plenty of sensible feedback and good advice here, so there's not much more I can add.

Again, I am sorry and will do my best to support your venture here on CC. Best wishes to you, and thank you for remaining so calm.
 
Shueitaka said:
Thank you but to me what you just said shows me that i should just have fun and hang out with girls. Since I can repent later like everyone else.

Well thank you for your reply ^^ I am thankful. I'll keep thinking but my view towards sex is changing due to how most of society is. I'm almost at the point where I just feel like sex isn't really all that important. Afterall it's just sex right? What matters is that you too care for each other even though you have slept with several other people. The last shouldn't matter as long as you love each other now. Hmm I'll think about it. Maybe flings aren't so bad for now right? Take care and thank you for your time ^^ I do appreciate it. I think I'm not gonna overthink this whole virgin thing anymore.
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The attitude of I can just repent later shows that the person espousing that idea doesn't know the first thing about repentance and what it means. Repentance is to change the way you look at things so you agree with God's view of it. It is not a sorry I broke the rules, or explaining to God why you just had to break the rules. And sure it's just sex, like an volcano is just a hole in the ground or starving to death is just a little hunger. You do not know the power of what you dismiss so lightly.

Shueitaka said:
As for heaven, everyone sins and like they said in the posts. Sex and other sins are sins of the same so you sin daily either way. So having sex like people do is the same as other sins. I also agree with you. Anything that does happen won't be gods fault. I don't blame God for anything in my life since he doesn't usually interfere with life's. Bad things don't happen because he wants them and I consider it stupid to blame him. Things happen due to a cause and effect. Not because God thought it would be nice to punish. People punish themselves or humans cause harm to others. Not god. Thank you for your concern ^^ I won't go crazy and have flings left and right. Not even sure if I want a fling yet since thinking about it sounds like such a hassle. I'm really lazy .0.0 so I don't tend to do things that make me put so much effort. But if something ever presents itself and a fling or something is possible then I guess I'll see what I decide in the moment. I'm not gonna consider sex as anything else since it's just the bodies lust and chemicals which create those feelings. I'll look for someone along the way who I value and would die for but having sex I don't think I consider it sacred anymore. It's pointless to tell you the truth. Like someone said what she or I do in the past shouldn't matter in today's society since most don't care anyways. Even though most are supposed christians to begin with.
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Biblically (and if you're not going to let your life and ideas be informed by the Bible don't you dare call yourself a Christian) sexual sin is singled out as distinct and a sin that you ... actually that verse is really good, I'm going to quote it in full:

Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (1 Cor 6:18)

Also just because sin is forgivable does not mean it is not terrible. Sure you can be forgiven for having sex outside of marriage, and I could go murder someone and be forgiven for it. But ain't nobody gonna buy the idea that murdering other people isn't a big deal just because it can be forgiven.

You say it's just biochemistry. Again if you've been duped into viewing a human being as just one big ongoing chemical reaction then your view is also not Biblical. But if you really believe you're nothing more than one big chemical reaction, then everything is scientifically determined and there's no point or purpose or meaning to anything or choice. But here's some food for thought, what if the rise in mental health and emotional issues is related to our culture of sexual promiscuity? I don't think there's any proof and I don't know of any really solid studies, but what exactly is causing us to become more and more dysfunctional as human beings? And do you really want to gamble that you know better than God so that when God says don't you're sitting there saying "Why not? It won't hurt anything."

Honestly though, if these are the conclusions you are drawing after reading all the replies in this thread, you look like someone who only came here hoping to find a justification to do what he wanted to do. You're already enmeshed in a lot of unbiblical worldview points and I would strongly urge you that if you want to keep what faith you have, find a mentor. Otherwise I fear the lies of society will choke out what's left of God in you (like the weeds in the parable).
 
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