What Do Men Fear Most? (A Humorous Poll.)

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What Do Men Fear Most -- And Why? (A Humorous Poll) In All the World, Men Mostly Fear:

  • Toilet Paper (as in, having their trees or car TP'ed.)

    Votes: 1 9.1%

  • Eggs (as in, having something they own be egged.)

    Votes: 1 9.1%

  • Glitter (it's funny how much men fear sparkles!) :D

    Votes: 5 45.5%

  • Letter From a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (especially one asking for money.)

    Votes: 2 18.2%

  • Writing Instruments (as in, having, "Vote 4 [whoever you don't like]" written on your car.

    Votes: 1 9.1%

  • Having Posessions Tampered With (such as tools, lawn chairs, etc. being "misplaced.")

    Votes: 4 36.4%

  • Having Someone Threaten to Prank Them When They'll Be Away -- And Then Being Pranked.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Expecting to be Pranked, But Then Not Actually Being Pranked (is the disappointment real?!)

    Votes: 1 9.1%

  • Taxes -- 'Nuff Said. (Rodney, you know this one is for you!)

    Votes: 4 36.4%

  • Other -- Men Are Afraid of (let me tell you what they fear most -- and why -- in my post!)

    Votes: 3 27.3%
  • Total voters
    11
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#1
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

I recently spent time with friends who have a good-natured girls vs. guys rivalry between some friends at church. This time, it was the girls' turn to get back at the guys -- and several ideas for funny (but harmless) pranks were discussed.

This got me thinking -- What kinds of things get men absolutely shaking in their boots? Out of all the things they might encounter in the world, what would be the most likely to have a man's suspenders twisted up in knots?

This thread is meant to be humorous fun -- serious answers are welcome too, but the original intent is to hopefully give the reader a good chuckle. :D

And for anyone wondering, any pranks that may or may not have been committed did NOT cause anyone any undue harm or grief. There was no cleaning up, no timely or costly aftermath, and no property or possessions were altered in any way that would be of true nuisance to the victim, er, object of gentle, deserving payback. :cool: However, the discussion of what COULD be done was quite hilarious, thus inspiring the idea for this thread. :geek:

The poll will be multiple choice and just for fun, we'll be able to see what everyone answers. And since the poll has a limited amount of possible answers, come on back to the thread and tell us about your own!

I'd also like to hear about why our gentlemen friends fear certain things and what previous experience they've had with them (egging stories, anyone?)

Ladies are also welcome to answer with what and why they think men fear certain things, along with any stories they might have of men they know encountering said things.

So... Step right up and tell us -- What Do Men Fear Most?! And Why?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#2
My pastor and his best friend got in a prank war one time. It escalated to the point that one of them dumped 80 lb of dog food on the front porch of the other man's house. The other was awakened at 3:00 a.m. by a whole gang of dogs trying to tear his porch apart.

It ended with the Senior pastor calling them both into his office and telling them he was glad they were good friends, but they were going to have to stop this.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#3
Me, I can't think of anything I'm really afraid of. Snakes need to be killed. Spiders should be left alone to eat mosquitoes. Wasps are a menace to society, and they have no concept of personal space. But I'm not really afraid of any of them. They just need to stay away from me, for their own health. I'm not really afraid of mosquitoes either. If you steal something from me I will get really ticked off, but not to the point where I'm afraid of it happening.

Maybe it's because I grew up with a younger brother. I've already seen the worst, so there's nothing you can do worse than that.

I do know that I have caused much disappointment to many people who try to startle me. Or at least they act very disappointed when they try and fail to make me jump. I still don't see what the draw is for them in trying, but whatever.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#4
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#4
Ask my Uncle Fred about pranks.

One time there was a little snow on the ground, and as Uncle Fred went out of the break room there was a co-worker standing there with a snowball. Grinning.

"You can throw it. And I won't duck. But I'll get you back."

The coworker came in the break room, still grinning, talking about how he got Freddie with a snowball. Somebody else in the break room said, "oh you have messed up!"

"Nah. He'll forget it."

"No. Freddie does not forget."

More than half a year later, in the dead of August, it was very hot no matter where you went in the factory. Uncle Fred had a full thermos of ice water. He got up and left the break room, then circled back and came in through another door. He proceeded to dump the whole thermos of ice water down the back of the perpetrator's neck.

When the guy started to get up out of his seat, Uncle Fred said, "snowball." The guy sat back down and just took it.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#5
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,599
113
#5
Lynx said:
Ask my Uncle Fred about pranks.

One time there was a little snow on the ground, and as Uncle Fred went out of the break room there was a co-worker standing there with a snowball. Grinning.

"You can throw it. And I won't duck. But I'll get you back."

The coworker came in the break room, still grinning, talking about how he got Freddie with a snowball. Somebody else in the break room said, "oh you have messed up!"

"Nah. He'll forget it."

"No. Freddie does not forget."

More than half a year later, in the dead of August, it was very hot no matter where you went in the factory. Uncle Fred had a full thermos of ice water. He got up and left the break room, then circled back and came in through another door. He proceeded to dump the whole thermos of ice water down the back of the perpetrator's neck.

When the guy started to get up out of his seat, Uncle Fred said, "snowball." The guy sat back down and just took it.
Click to expand...

Your Uncle Fred is the kind of guy that ballads and legends are written about...
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
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#6
seoulsearch said:
Your Uncle Fred is the kind of guy that ballads and legends are written about...
Click to expand...
He never starts any of it. But he will finish it.

This one guy started trying to prank him, again at his job. They went back and forth a few times, until Fred put letters on the back bumper of the guy's truck. They were those letters that glow like neon when there's headlights anywhere near them. The guy never saw the back of his truck, because he always parked and left his truck going around the front. So it was a long time before he knew it was back there on his bumper.

I forget what the letters said, but I remember the part about making sure it was in a place the guy did not usually look at on his truck.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#7
Sep 17, 2018
4,094
3,196
113
#7
I selected having my stuff tampered with. I could've selected some others also, but I think this is the top one listed.
For me touching my things, moving them, using, etc... feels like an invasion of privacy or of personal space. And the more valuable it is to me the stronger I feel that way.
Even when I give permission there's still a part of me wanting to snatch it from them and run away with it.
 
R

RodB651

Well-known member
#8
Feb 11, 2021
755
476
63
59
#8
Taxation really is theft. 🤷
I don't like it when things on my desk or bookshelf are moved.
Don't tinker with my tool box either.
 
daisyseesthesun

daisyseesthesun

Well-known member
#9
Aug 23, 2024
766
432
63
#9
You wake up it a beautiful day then and find out your favorite hat has just been bedazzled... 1730140106424.png
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#11
Jul 3, 2015
61,105
30,235
113
#11
I met an old man wearing a glittery dress when I went out for coffee today .:unsure::giggle:

It was kind of subtle because the colours were muted and rather pastel but the glitter was impossible to miss!
 
timemeddler

timemeddler

Active member
#12
Jul 13, 2023
458
204
43
#12
As I recently found out kilts and corsets(actual supportive types, not lingerie).
 
enril

enril

Active member
#13
Aug 18, 2024
470
206
43
15
#13
Lynx said:
Me, I can't think of anything I'm really afraid of. Snakes need to be killed. Spiders should be left alone to eat mosquitoes. Wasps are a menace to society, and they have no concept of personal space. But I'm not really afraid of any of them. They just need to stay away from me, for their own health. I'm not really afraid of mosquitoes either. If you steal something from me I will get really ticked off, but not to the point where I'm afraid of it happening.

Maybe it's because I grew up with a younger brother. I've already seen the worst, so there's nothing you can do worse than that.

I do know that I have caused much disappointment to many people who try to startle me. Or at least they act very disappointed when they try and fail to make me jump. I still don't see what the draw is for them in trying, but whatever.
Click to expand...
blguahh! wasps are just about the only thing that can make me actually run away screaming. I am pretty allergic to wasps, to the extent where I will be in pain and stiff for about 24 hours. and wasps sting. like, literally beeline for me just to sting.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#14
Aug 13, 2014
27,689
9,621
113
#14
enril said:
blguahh! wasps are just about the only thing that can make me actually run away screaming. I am pretty allergic to wasps, to the extent where I will be in pain and stiff for about 24 hours. and wasps sting. like, literally beeline for me just to sting.
Click to expand...
Can confirm. They really do seek out people to sting. It's like they are the roid rage version of bees. "There's a human! I cannot let him exist in the space I have suddenly chosen to fly through!"

Bees make wasps look bad. At my job there are always a few bees flying around every trash can, but I've been changing the trash every time it gets full and they seem to never even mind.
 
Tall_Timbers

Tall_Timbers

Well-known member
#15
Mar 31, 2023
1,242
1,339
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68
Cheyenne WY
christiancommunityforum.com
#15
You open an envelope that contains a letter or card, you know the stuff that the older generations used to send by the US Postal Service. You open the letter and glitter falls all over the place... ugh!

You have every tool in its place. Someone else uses a tool and puts it back somewhere else. You end up replacing the tool because you can't find it and shortly after you replace it you find the original.

As a young man I feared nothing. As I age out I recognize that I am more and more vulnerable. I've noticed I have just a touch of gephyrophobia nowadays.
 
Mem

Mem

Senior Member
#16
Sep 23, 2014
7,227
2,205
113
#16
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Men are afraid of being wrong. period.
This is why God created women... ;)
 
enril

enril

Active member
#17
Aug 18, 2024
470
206
43
15
#17
people touching things that lave me vulnerable.
being exposed as the faker i am.
 
2ndTimeIsTheCharm

2ndTimeIsTheCharm

Well-known member
#18
Feb 17, 2023
1,936
1,133
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#18
Tall_Timbers said:
As a young man I feared nothing. As I age out I recognize that I am more and more vulnerable. I've noticed I have just a touch of gephyrophobia nowadays.
Click to expand...

Yeah even women can get that. Oooh, especially when the flooring is see-through plexiglass! Aaaaaack!


I would probably do the same thing that guy is doing: crawling and clutching around for something to hold on to.... :ROFL:


🥌
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#19
Jun 30, 2015
25,594
13,857
113
#19
I don’t understand the question. 🤔

;)
 
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