-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
H
Hellooo
Guest
Honesty, patience, respectfulness, humor -- not easily offended, not blindly insecure or in a rush. A happy, balanced person who is able to enjoy a friendship and build from there. You didn't ask about it, but a good relationship with God helps with these things IMO.
When it comes to caring, it's great if a woman cares, although anything can be taken to an extreme.
That quality that I was trying to comment on in the Streams thread... I still can't really even...
Gentle fierceness? Devoted longing? A sort of... Forceful submissiveness? Some kind of...non-naive vulnerability, like you would have done when you were naive, but more of a choice to open up your heart despite bad past experiences for just me (insert whatever guy for the 'me')... It's this sort of, like... 'womanly nature' thing... I don't know... It's really hard to define, and almost an oxymoron... It definitely exists, though, and I don't know about every guy... but for the millions of fans of female characters based on whatever this 'ness' is... yeah, it's what we want and dream of and hope for.
Gentle fierceness? Devoted longing? A sort of... Forceful submissiveness? Some kind of...non-naive vulnerability, like you would have done when you were naive, but more of a choice to open up your heart despite bad past experiences for just me (insert whatever guy for the 'me')... It's this sort of, like... 'womanly nature' thing... I don't know... It's really hard to define, and almost an oxymoron... It definitely exists, though, and I don't know about every guy... but for the millions of fans of female characters based on whatever this 'ness' is... yeah, it's what we want and dream of and hope for.
Last edited:
N
ntw1103
Guest
This paragraph reminded me of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBK-hjbRmKU Meek and the Mighty by Farrell And Farrell
C
coby
Guest
What's that? My ex wanted somebody who would submit. He liked micro managing. And someone who wouldn't cheat.
Then it wasn't good enough because I was naive and childish. Yes what else do you expect? No normal woman lets herself be micro managed by a spouse. Then he wanted a woman with a mind of her own and complained she didn't listen.
Now finally he learned it. The wife he has now listens but God told him to stop micro managing and let her have her way.
Sometimes we want the impossible. I don't want a bossy guy anymore. Hey but the opposite is even worse.
Only Jesus is exactly what I want. Not bossy yet the boss. Yes I think the ideal does exist. Look for someone who really died with Christ.
I think you're on to something here. If I may take this idea and run with it for a moment (tell me if I'm getting close)...
A woman who is strong in herself, her identity and abilities, her self-worth, her relationship with Christ, and who, because of that strength, reaches out with openness and vulnerability to share her strength, her self with another, whether in compassion, mercy, service and self-sacrifice, or in friendship, love and intimacy.
Of course, I may be off on a tangent. I'm trying to connect something a counselor shared with me recently to the post quoted....
I mean, yes, that's definitely part of it. She doesn't necessarily have to be completely sure or confident in herself, but enough so that she does have a distinct sort of personality/ 'way' about her and a worldview she has/actions she takes.
Again, it's really hard to define in a single word, but I think that's a valuable addition to what I'm trying to reference and define, Dino, definitely. Thank you.
Like I said, I've seen this in several, but it's not necessarily the majority. Again, I'm also referencing media or literary characters which display these traits. As for real-life counterparts, I'm not as sure or quick in pointing this quality out.
I'll say that it's definitely easier to "see" what we want through characters in stories, than to try to explain it with words. Sometimes it's not definable. It's a LOOK or a reaction or an endearing habit or way of speaking.
So, which media and literary characters are you referencing?
Good question. Give me time to go back through several books, anime, and such to re-familiarize myself with the characters, and I'll compile a list.
I made a comment the other day about Touko from Glasslip and Flora from TwoKinds... (I wouldn't necessarily recommend looking up the later comic... it's... anyway...), but it's hard to just find a single clip or set of pictures to express it... You have to know the context, background, and relational dynamics within the set story to really understand the weight or meaning behind the character's choices or personality.
Sometimes, while the right picture might be worth a thousand words, it still can't explain what you're trying to say.
U
Ultimatum77
Guest
Hotness, smartness of those two = alotness (i know alotness is not a word but now it is)....jk thought I would be cool throwing some rhymes out there yall...I have asked my friends what do they define "hotness" as? To which they can never reply a simple good answer....lol...if someone is hot then what is "cold" stumbles them every time hahaha....okay enough dry humor ... in all seriousness...
back to the op:
Love for God, Thinks for themself, Caring for others, Looks don't hurt either but shouldn't be the ultimate determiner...
....I think that covers most of the bases of what a guy wants....
back to the op:
Love for God, Thinks for themself, Caring for others, Looks don't hurt either but shouldn't be the ultimate determiner...
....I think that covers most of the bases of what a guy wants....
C
coby
Guest
Lol my eyes are getting worse. I read homeless.Hotness, smartness of those two = alotness (i know alotness is not a word but now it is)....jk thought I would be cool throwing some rhymes out there yall...I have asked my friends what do they define "hotness" as? To which they can never reply a simple good answer....lol...if someone is hot then what is "cold" stumbles them every time hahaha....okay enough dry humor ... in all seriousness...
back to the op:
Love for God, Thinks for themself, Caring for others, Looks don't hurt either but shouldn't be the ultimate determiner...
So... I've started looking back... I re-familiarized myself with 'female character types' when it comes to Japanese media (anime, manga, visual novels, etc), and I'm a little bit closer to a definition (though still not there).
There's a aspect of what Otaku (avid anime fans) would call 'Moe' in the types of characters I'm referencing...(if you know what that means, please don't stop reading...just hear me out for a sec)...
A typical 'Moe' (roughly translated as cute, endearing, huggable, or 'sprouting') character tends to be outgoing and somewhat strong-willed/stubborn. This usually doesn't come across poorly; however, because it's counterbalanced by an overly kind, caring, sweet, or maternal-type nature (effecting their words, actions, beliefs, etc).
Sometimes this aspect of character is defined as being a bit naive or innocent, but I think the term they're really looking for is more like pure, optimistic, or idealistic. In the grand scheme of things, there flaws tend to be somewhat minor/only an issue to them (not much of an issue to one interested in them), and while they may be a bit guarded or fearful/doubting/skeptical of others...they still try really hard (or not so hard if it's natural) to just be their authentic selves and try to do the right thing/show love, care, and concern for others.
One phrase that really stuck out to me is, "A 'Moe' character possesses some quality or set of qualities that make you want to protect them."
An INFJ (like me) is known as 'the advocate' or 'the protector'... so naturally, that statement undoubtedly applies in my case.
Again, it's hard to describe, but hopefully through continued posts and efforts, we can build a sort of vague-yet-identifiable model of what I'm talking about. ^_^0
There's a aspect of what Otaku (avid anime fans) would call 'Moe' in the types of characters I'm referencing...(if you know what that means, please don't stop reading...just hear me out for a sec)...
A typical 'Moe' (roughly translated as cute, endearing, huggable, or 'sprouting') character tends to be outgoing and somewhat strong-willed/stubborn. This usually doesn't come across poorly; however, because it's counterbalanced by an overly kind, caring, sweet, or maternal-type nature (effecting their words, actions, beliefs, etc).
Sometimes this aspect of character is defined as being a bit naive or innocent, but I think the term they're really looking for is more like pure, optimistic, or idealistic. In the grand scheme of things, there flaws tend to be somewhat minor/only an issue to them (not much of an issue to one interested in them), and while they may be a bit guarded or fearful/doubting/skeptical of others...they still try really hard (or not so hard if it's natural) to just be their authentic selves and try to do the right thing/show love, care, and concern for others.
One phrase that really stuck out to me is, "A 'Moe' character possesses some quality or set of qualities that make you want to protect them."
An INFJ (like me) is known as 'the advocate' or 'the protector'... so naturally, that statement undoubtedly applies in my case.
Again, it's hard to describe, but hopefully through continued posts and efforts, we can build a sort of vague-yet-identifiable model of what I'm talking about. ^_^0
U
Ultimatum77
Guest
That's hilarious! Although some homeless people are smart even if it's a bad kind of smart....for this article lol...my question is how did she get mcdonalds to lure the kids and a hotel room being homeless???
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/fla-homeless-woman-takes-kids-teach-steal-article-1.2272077
Most guys I know want a woman who is genuine in her affections for him. Men can tell the difference between a woman who says "I love you" and leaves you out in the rain to fix the tire while she stays in the car, to the woman who is out there in the cold weather with you holding the flash light.
Respect is another big one. Yet in this time and age, men can expect virtually zero respect from the opposite sex. Atleast here in America. A man wants his woman to look up to him, and more often than not, women are more willing to tear a man down than build him up. Women want emotional love, men want respect.
Fruits of the spirit. A woman can kill a man with her words alone. Proverbs speak of such women as being a disease in a man bones. Gentle, Kind, and other soft words can lift a man up to do his deeds. Too often though, women think nagging will get him motivated. If anything, it will only annoy him and put a division among themselves.
The problem with men though, is they do not have good role models anymore or very few. So many men do not grow up understanding manhood.
[/QUOTE]
The problem with men though, is they do not have good role models anymore or very few. So many men do not grow up understanding manhood.[/QUOTE]
I agree. Some lack consistency in their actions and this make women feel they are not being valued enough. What's their point in playing mind games and and playing with women's emotions? Why do they risk losing a woman they love by playing childish games? Because they think they can win them back anytime? Men like this are really frustrating.
The problem with men though, is they do not have good role models anymore or very few. So many men do not grow up understanding manhood.[/QUOTE]
I agree. Some lack consistency in their actions and this make women feel they are not being valued enough. What's their point in playing mind games and and playing with women's emotions? Why do they risk losing a woman they love by playing childish games? Because they think they can win them back anytime? Men like this are really frustrating.
In that case, I would question the man and the woman. I would question the man on his motives. Does he just want sex and being a player? Or is he serious but he just does not know what he is doing? On the woman's part, if she knows he is a player, why is she not expecting to get played? Is he a nice-guy? And last, why are you choosing to be with him specifically if you already know what type of man he is?
I wish society would understand that you cannot leave boys to rot in the wind and expect them to become men on their own. It takes time, energy and resources. Boys just do not magically become men, yet they are so over-neglected these days, it goes beyond child-abuse.
Because women believe men like that still have hope. You even said it is not impossible and would take a lot of energy and resources. Before they could change maybe they would have damaged a lot of women they could wreck havoc to.
Hmm... reminds me of the farmer who had his three teenage boys working out in the cornfield. A neighbor drove by and said, "John why are you working your boys so hard? You know you don't need that much corn this year."
The farmer replied, "Sir, I am not raising corn. I am raising boys."
N
ntw1103
Guest
I came across this today, and thought of this thread.
(image text
rafted Israeli soldiers aren't allowed to leave their guns alone. Purim is tonight in Israel.)
(image text
rafted Israeli soldiers aren't allowed to leave their guns alone. Purim is tonight in Israel.)