What do men look for in a woman?

[kaylagrl]

This question may deserve its own thread, but I am going to ask this here because we have already veered away from the topic. (Feel free to report this to a mod, if you think this should be a separate thread).

Is sex a godly act?

I don't think there is anything godly about sex, so it doesn't matter what a husband and wife do to each other, so long as it is mutually consensual and neither person feels disrespected. I think sex is an expression of our most despicable desires (throwback to one of seoulsearch's old signatures). Love-making on the other hand may be godly because the end-result of it is pro-creation, which is a fulfilment of God's commandment to mankind (now whether that commandment is still relevant today, is another topic). But sex, in my opinion, is definitely not a godly act.

Edit: Disclaimer: By arguing that sex is ungodly, I am not arguing for any act that is prohibited by the Bible.

If sex is between a man and woman who are married and serving the Lord then it is a Godly act.So much so that the Bible says not to deny your partner unless you agree to a time period.Song of Solomon talks about the pleasure and joy of sex.

 

[kaylagrl]

The internet has allowed countless of single people to take up unicorn hunting. I just want a wife who will love me and share life together with God at centre.

Another problem is people look for potential partners based on what the media is saying as well. I know God has put a number of women in my life who would have been fantastic as a wife for me, but they exercised their free will rights and decided they did not want to commit to any sort of relationship with me.

Women are just as bad if not, worse than men for check boxes and Christian women seem to want a man who is better than Christ, I know a number of women like this, they are now nearly 50 and still single and still waiting for that perfect Godly man,when there are plenty of amazing Christian men who would be more than happy to marry them, but no the check boxes are not all ticked and they are no where near Christ, so they fail.

The world is shallow and most Christians seem to continue to walk in this way, which is a shame.

The big problem is media in all its forms. Movies give such unrealistic view of both sexes. Both are equally guilty of high expectations and shallow ideals. A girlfriend of mine and I were talking one day.She was just desperate to find a man,she was in her 40s and I felt bad for her even though I was single and not even dating. So I asked her what she was looking for in a man. She threw several things she was looking for at me.Then she said "you know The Rock?" I said "the actor?" Yes,she responded,I want someone like him" I let the conversation trail off after that. What could I say to that one?! A grown woman saying something like that. I wanted to laugh but I was polite. As you say,a lot of people are single and unhappy because they have very unrealistic expectations.

 

[Cee]

I liked a lot of the responses in this thread and some not so much personally.

That being said, I think it's great advice to focus on God and who you really are in Him. As you can see from some of these responses most men don't have a clue what they want, they have ideals, they've been told what to want, and their superficial desires try to convince what they want, but at the end of the day very few people actually know. Because when you're talking about "forever" I think the idea is to really stack the deck in your favor, but that forgets about the other person and makes it a selfish focus.

I'm learning this myself, I used to have quite a list and because I didn't know exactly if I wanted to travel around the world or not, and lots of other things I didn't pursue girls seriously. Now I think I've grown up a bit more and the things I want from a woman are the same things I want for myself. I'd like her to care about me, support me, and be honest with me. One thing I admire a lot is the desire for communication and wisdom to share what's going on inside. As I look to my future I want to be active and travel a lot so I look for those things as well. As far as a home maker and a cook? Eh, I'm okay either way. I would easily be willing to pay for a maid and food is good, but it doesn't have to be elaborate for me to enjoy it.

On Spiritual things: I look for a woman that if I share something about God she doesn't change the topic, she is actually interested in spiritual things and asks me questions and offers feedback, and allows me to do the same for her. I want to love well and touch lives so I would want a life partner that's willing to go after representing Christ to the world.

On kids: I am interested in home schooling, I don't believe in the way things are going with public schooling, plus I want to travel and touch countries with my life, so for that reason this is a bit of a non negotiable for me. But it might not be for you.

I think it's great advice figure out who you are in Christ, how He sees you, allow Him to be your strongest relationship even once married (He is in the center, spouse would be in 2nd circle), and love people as they enter your life. Talk to Jesus about men in your life that you are attracted to and why, look at yourself and grow in Christ, and fruits of the Spirit, find out what makes you come alive, and the right guy will be attracted to you and you to him. Of course I don't think this means secluding yourself from society, but keeping your heart and value in God.

C.

Growing up in a non-Christian family, surrounded by the world and trying my best to live a good Christian life, wondering what it is like to date a Christian. I don't know how to put this but while I'm looking for someone for several years, hoping that I won't fall for the wrong guys anymore, I thought I was careful enough not to hurt myself but I wasn't. Things happened, I got so angry with myself and hated myself so much. I was trying my real best to stay focus on God, believing that things will happen in God's own timing. With so much hatred on myself, I started to find ways to harm myself. I guess it was rather successful.

While, I still wonder what actually men look for in a woman...

 

[AsifinPassing]

Short answer: This answer varies as much as each individual male who answers it.

Long Answer: TBD

 

[proverbs35]

The big problem is media in all its forms. Movies give such unrealistic view of both sexes. Both are equally guilty of high expectations and shallow ideals. A girlfriend of mine and I were talking one day.She was just desperate to find a man,she was in her 40s and I felt bad for her even though I was single and not even dating. So I asked her what she was looking for in a man. She threw several things she was looking for at me.Then she said "you know The Rock?" I said "the actor?" Yes,she responded,I want someone like him" I let the conversation trail off after that. What could I say to that one?! A grown woman saying something like that. I wanted to laugh but I was polite. As you say,a lot of people are single and unhappy because they have very unrealistic expectations.

No offense, but that is quite silly for a full grown, older woman.

I like the Rock. I'm a fan. I've followed his career for years. My son likes wrestling, and the Rock his one of those characters that we bonded over. He likes the Rock too. However, people need to do their research.

I was very disappointed when the Rock divorced the wife of his youth. They were college sweethearts, and his wife had been with him when he was broke. He talks about that in his autobiography. Sometimes, people get money and fame, and all of a sudden, they forget how to treat the person who was there for them when they were broke.

Anyway, I'm still a fan of the Rock. He's a flawed human being just like me, so I'm not judging him. However, I highly doubt that your friend would want a husband like the Rock considering how the Rock actually treated the wife of his youth. He ended up divorcing her and moving on to someone else. The Rock's current girlfriend (not wife) gave birth to their first child together this Dec.

[video=youtube;LFWSkpXitlg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFWSkpXitlg[/video]

 

[Hellooo]

The big problem is media in all its forms. Movies give such unrealistic view of both sexes. Both are equally guilty of high expectations and shallow ideals. A girlfriend of mine and I were talking one day.She was just desperate to find a man,she was in her 40s and I felt bad for her even though I was single and not even dating. So I asked her what she was looking for in a man. She threw several things she was looking for at me.Then she said "you know The Rock?" I said "the actor?" Yes,she responded,I want someone like him" I let the conversation trail off after that. What could I say to that one?! A grown woman saying something like that. I wanted to laugh but I was polite. As you say,a lot of people are single and unhappy because they have very unrealistic expectations.

Each man is different and wants / needs different things. To put them all in a box and neatly say, "A Man wants A, B and C." is a bit silly. But that's okay. I like silly. It's good for comedy.

The trick is, if you see a man who YOU want... you need to talk to him and see what HE wants... cause if it's a match! Rock, Rock On! ;-)

Just joking, guys....(referencing some older threads)

 

[kaylagrl]

No offense, but that is quite silly for a full grown, older woman.

I like the Rock. I'm a fan. I've followed his career for years. My son likes wrestling, and the Rock his one of those characters that we bonded over. He likes the Rock too. However, people need to do their research.

I was very disappointed when the Rock divorced the wife of his youth. They were college sweethearts, and his wife had been with him when he was broke. He talks about that in his autobiography. Sometimes, people get money and fame, and all of a sudden, they forget how to treat the person who was there for them when they were broke.

Anyway, I'm still a fan of the Rock. He's a flawed human being just like me, so I'm not judging him. However, I highly doubt that your friend would want a husband like the Rock considering how the Rock actually treated the wife of his youth. He ended up divorcing her and moving on to someone else. The Rock's current girlfriend (not wife) gave birth to their first child together this Dec.

[video=youtube;LFWSkpXitlg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFWSkpXitlg[/video]

Yes I saw that he had a girlfriend just recently.I thought,"where did his wife go?" The man is an actor,paid to be fake.The man himself,well who knows? I was very disappointed in Randy Travis who left his wife and picked up with a girlfriend.It send him right back into alcoholism.Lost his career. Very sad.

 

[coby]

Argh. For some reason, my "Reply with Quote" function isn't working. And please forgive my grammatical errors--I've living on coffee and sugar.

Anyway, PoetMary scored the big one (no pun intended) when she said whores are putting on a show. How else do they "work" several times in a row and manage to get paid? I would hope any grown man should realize this, but apparently, many do not.

The reason I'm bringing up the whole "Men want a Whore in the Bedroom" train of thought is because I've heard Christian men say, "I don't want to marry a Christian woman. I have NEEDS, and a prudish Christian woman is never going to agree to the things I have in mind."

Eh. Society has it the other way around. It's the "whores" that are supposed to be learning from US (Godly Christian women) as to how to treat a man/husband right. Now I'm not talking about lewd, abusive, or disrespectful actions that would humiliate either partner.

But it seems most men, even Christians, think they have to go to the world (and worldly women) to have their curiosities fulfilled. As Christians, it's our right and privilege to work out where those God-given boundaries are with our spouses, and blaze right past anything a "whore" might have to offer.

And, with our spouses, we're willing to do it freely (without charging... ).

Well to be honest I prefer a womanizer who first gets saved because those superholy christian men who can wait an eternity let you stand dry for years. Thanks but no thanks.

 

[blondieindahouse]

I liked a lot of the responses in this thread and some not so much personally.

That being said, I think it's great advice to focus on God and who you really are in Him. As you can see from some of these responses most men don't have a clue what they want, they have ideals, they've been told what to want, and their superficial desires try to convince what they want, but at the end of the day very few people actually know. Because when you're talking about "forever" I think the idea is to really stack the deck in your favor, but that forgets about the other person and makes it a selfish focus.

I'm learning this myself, I used to have quite a list and because I didn't know exactly if I wanted to travel around the world or not, and lots of other things I didn't pursue girls seriously. Now I think I've grown up a bit more and the things I want from a woman are the same things I want for myself. I'd like her to care about me, support me, and be honest with me. One thing I admire a lot is the desire for communication and wisdom to share what's going on inside. As I look to my future I want to be active and travel a lot so I look for those things as well. As far as a home maker and a cook? Eh, I'm okay either way. I would easily be willing to pay for a maid and food is good, but it doesn't have to be elaborate for me to enjoy it.

On Spiritual things: I look for a woman that if I share something about God she doesn't change the topic, she is actually interested in spiritual things and asks me questions and offers feedback, and allows me to do the same for her. I want to love well and touch lives so I would want a life partner that's willing to go after representing Christ to the world.

On kids: I am interested in home schooling, I don't believe in the way things are going with public schooling, plus I want to travel and touch countries with my life, so for that reason this is a bit of a non negotiable for me. But it might not be for you.

I think it's great advice figure out who you are in Christ, how He sees you, allow Him to be your strongest relationship even once married (He is in the center, spouse would be in 2nd circle), and love people as they enter your life. Talk to Jesus about men in your life that you are attracted to and why, look at yourself and grow in Christ, and fruits of the Spirit, find out what makes you come alive, and the right guy will be attracted to you and you to him. Of course I don't think this means secluding yourself from society, but keeping your heart and value in God.

C.

Best answer yet imho! If I was 20 yrs younger, I may be batting my eyelashes your way

 

[spunkycat08]

This question may deserve its own thread, but I am going to ask this here because we have already veered away from the topic. (Feel free to report this to a mod, if you think this should be a separate thread).

Is sex a godly act?

I don't think there is anything godly about sex, so it doesn't matter what a husband and wife do to each other, so long as it is mutually consensual and neither person feels disrespected. I think sex is an expression of our most despicable desires (throwback to one of seoulsearch's old signatures). Love-making on the other hand may be godly because the end-result of it is pro-creation, which is a fulfilment of God's commandment to mankind (now whether that commandment is still relevant today, is another topic). But sex, in my opinion, is definitely not a godly act.

Edit: Disclaimer: By arguing that sex is ungodly, I am not arguing for any act that is prohibited by the Bible.

Roh_Chris

Question for you, Roh_Chris:

Will the only time you have sex with your partner is when you want to procreate?

And after procreating you no longer have sex with her?

My husband and I married when we were in our forties.

He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes when he was in his late 30's. His sperm count is too low. In fact, when we make love, there is no way I can get pregnant.

And since I cannot procreate, should we stop having sex?

 

[Tinkerbell725]

IMO men wants a woman who is sweet but also tough. A balance of strength and tenderness, someone they have something to talk about, someone to match their intelligence, someone who can respect and encourage them, a helpmate, the wind beneath their wings, someone who will not tolerate bad behavior but will correct it,someone who fears the Lord.

 

[GhostWolf]

Women who are comfortable being themselves, no matter how zany, weird, or odd that might be. The quickest turn off is a woman who is trying to hard and acting like someone they really are not. Be yourself, be confident and be who you are.

 

[NotmebutHim]

Short answer: This answer varies as much as each individual male who answers it.

Long Answer: TBD

^^This^^

I will also say that it gets tiring to see thread after thread where men are asked what their preferences are concerning women and then some get lambasted for expressing them.

It reminds me of the adage: "Don't ask the question if you don't think you're going to like the answer"

I think I can speak for most of the guys here when I say I don't want a "whore", "slave" or "punching bag".

That's all.......off soapbox.........:|

 

[coby]

Women who are comfortable being themselves, no matter how zany, weird, or odd that might be. The quickest turn off is a woman who is trying to hard and acting like someone they really are not. Be yourself, be confident and be who you are.

I am but now they don't like me LOL. I know exactly what men hate so I know how to scare everyone off who's interested. I don't understand those women with their beautiful pics of themselves to try to get a man and talk so sweet like they're always awesome. I always first have some scare off tests. Until now not one has passed them.

 

[Starsdance]

It's not my turn to answer.lol

 

[Born_Again]

IMO men wants a woman who is sweet but also tough. A balance of strength and tenderness, someone they have something to talk about, someone to match their intelligence, someone who can respect and encourage them, a helpmate, the wind beneath their wings, someone who will not tolerate bad behavior but will correct it,someone who fears the Lord.

That's pretty good! I cant argue with that . lol

 

[Elijah19]

I want her to be kind, pretty, funny, driven, goal-minded, loving, sexy, and most importantly Christian Hearted.

 

[phil38111]

I want wonder woman. I got tired of poison ivy.

 

[phil38111]

Seriously, if you want to know how to catch a man. buy my new book. Think like a lady act like a lady. : )

 

[Hellooo]

Seriously, if you want to know how to catch a man. buy my new book. Think like a lady act like a lady. : )

Phil, is that the title of your autobiography?