What do you consider sensitive information?
- Thread starter JimJimmers
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I appreciate the part about trying to be relatable. There are many members here that just ask questions about certain things but share absolutely nothing about themselves. I am here mainly for the fellowship, but it is hard sometimes to respond to someone who you don't have a clue who they are and what they are about. The thing about trying to be relatable is that in the process you can make yourself somewhat vulnerable. I have found that it is usually worth the risk. Perhaps you feel the same way.
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Hey Jim!
Great thread topic.
I just wanted to clarify something. While I know I've written threads about age differences, I also remember a thread that Lanolin wrote that specifically mentioned the term "May to December", so I don't know if that's the thread you are referring to, but I didn't want it to seem like I was being given credit for what might have been her thread.
When I read your first sentence, I also misunderstood and thought you were saying that I was the one who said I liked older men (I tend to like guys about my age or sometimes younger, though it depends.) But as you said, it was another member who posted this and I wondered as well if her honest statement had resulted in any messages from men in the older age bracket.
In a world where social media has become normal and it's harder and harder to stay in touch with people unless you're online, I struggle with knowing how much to post. I know one particular member here who has never used their real name in any form and looking back, I wish I had done the same.
But yet I did post a picture in another recent thread, maybe as a partial defense mechanism. There are times when I've been online (including here) and I think things are going great (even just as friends,) but for whatever reason, there were times when some people finally did see my picture, they stopped talking to me (I've had a couple guys tell me it's because I'm not white.)
I understand, but I'm the type of person who would rather just rip the band-aid off myself and let the chips fall where they may. It's kind of like, "Let's just get this over with as soon as possible." If someone doesn't want to talk to me because of looks, I'd rather just know right off the bat rather than wasting any time on either side.
Great thread topic.
I just wanted to clarify something. While I know I've written threads about age differences, I also remember a thread that Lanolin wrote that specifically mentioned the term "May to December", so I don't know if that's the thread you are referring to, but I didn't want it to seem like I was being given credit for what might have been her thread.
When I read your first sentence, I also misunderstood and thought you were saying that I was the one who said I liked older men (I tend to like guys about my age or sometimes younger, though it depends.) But as you said, it was another member who posted this and I wondered as well if her honest statement had resulted in any messages from men in the older age bracket.
In a world where social media has become normal and it's harder and harder to stay in touch with people unless you're online, I struggle with knowing how much to post. I know one particular member here who has never used their real name in any form and looking back, I wish I had done the same.
But yet I did post a picture in another recent thread, maybe as a partial defense mechanism. There are times when I've been online (including here) and I think things are going great (even just as friends,) but for whatever reason, there were times when some people finally did see my picture, they stopped talking to me (I've had a couple guys tell me it's because I'm not white.)
I understand, but I'm the type of person who would rather just rip the band-aid off myself and let the chips fall where they may. It's kind of like, "Let's just get this over with as soon as possible." If someone doesn't want to talk to me because of looks, I'd rather just know right off the bat rather than wasting any time on either side.
I didn't see the thread you spoke of that Lanolin started, nothing I wrote was in response to anything she said. I was just curious about what people withhold out of circumspection.
That is an interesting idea about just drawing the prejudice out early, I can see that school of thought. I have some other thoughts & questions about it but they are half-formed. Maybe I will ponder it and ask them later. It is late here and I had a long day!
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I don't recklessly tell my real complete name...my address and I don't post many pictures of me online without covering half of my face or if I do I make sure I can take down the picture anytime if I want to... I have 2 pictures of me on Facebook my whole face it is because I am selling Houses and Lands ...but my personal transactions are all through private messages...and I don't give out personal infos unless I am sure that I am dealing with a legit client.
I watched a program on TV about someone who used someone's personal identifying information to do something not good...quite scary you know...
I watched a program on TV about someone who used someone's personal identifying information to do something not good...quite scary you know...
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Ramblings in response...
You have to make yourself somewhat vulnerable. Otherwise you'll never likely have a human relationship that's worth much. Yeah, I know some of you are satisfied with the "friendships" you have here. But, if you're able to meet face to face and don't, or at least exchange phone numbers at some point and don't, then I don't want to hear how great your online friendship is.
It seems that meeting anyone, for platonic friendship or something more than platonic, is nigh impossible today. It's too easy to manage "relationships" when they're virtual. You're more vulnerable to getting hurt and more likely to have to face the consequences of your behaviors in real life than on a computer or phone, where you can simply delete a contact. For all you Star Trek nerds out there, this should illustrate my point:
"Oh, but I met him online. People online are crazy!" Honey, YOU are online.
I met my late wife in a chat session. Now, all people want is fantasy. They say they're afraid of being physically harmed. Can not someone hurt you whom you met at an office just as easily as if you met them online? That makes no sense -- unless you plan on your first meeting being in a dark, isolated spot. And, again, this kind of stupidity can cost you a fatal price regardless of how you met the person.
Now, I don't care so much how I meet the person so much as the friendship potential of that person. Could be a chat room (I currently have a couple of real-world, Christian female friends, one now married, whom I met in chat sessions; had one sinful involvement with another. But, these three out of probably thousands chatted with initially.) Or, could be a small group. A laundromat. A supermarket. A parking lot. Don't care.
Anyway, not sure where I'm going with this or if I even have a concluding thought that's relevant to this thread. Your post just stimulated years of frustration and I needed to vent.
You have to make yourself somewhat vulnerable. Otherwise you'll never likely have a human relationship that's worth much. Yeah, I know some of you are satisfied with the "friendships" you have here. But, if you're able to meet face to face and don't, or at least exchange phone numbers at some point and don't, then I don't want to hear how great your online friendship is.
It seems that meeting anyone, for platonic friendship or something more than platonic, is nigh impossible today. It's too easy to manage "relationships" when they're virtual. You're more vulnerable to getting hurt and more likely to have to face the consequences of your behaviors in real life than on a computer or phone, where you can simply delete a contact. For all you Star Trek nerds out there, this should illustrate my point:
"Oh, but I met him online. People online are crazy!" Honey, YOU are online.
I met my late wife in a chat session. Now, all people want is fantasy. They say they're afraid of being physically harmed. Can not someone hurt you whom you met at an office just as easily as if you met them online? That makes no sense -- unless you plan on your first meeting being in a dark, isolated spot. And, again, this kind of stupidity can cost you a fatal price regardless of how you met the person.
Now, I don't care so much how I meet the person so much as the friendship potential of that person. Could be a chat room (I currently have a couple of real-world, Christian female friends, one now married, whom I met in chat sessions; had one sinful involvement with another. But, these three out of probably thousands chatted with initially.) Or, could be a small group. A laundromat. A supermarket. A parking lot. Don't care.
Anyway, not sure where I'm going with this or if I even have a concluding thought that's relevant to this thread. Your post just stimulated years of frustration and I needed to vent.