What happens after divorce?

[morefaithrequired]

even after I apologized for my mistakes.

I might be interested to hear what those mistakes were. But if it further traumatises you don't worry. Take care.

 

[tourist]

on my knees

Read to here.

 

[shrimp]

I might be interested to hear what those mistakes were. But if it further traumatises you don't worry. Take care.

Thanks. It Is difficult to go through, but maybe that's because I am learning from it.
I was naggy and pushy at times, I wanted him to not bring home his work, I didn't keep up with the house like I should have, I probably spent money on stuff that either we didn't need or we could have waited on, and I didn't have a good relationship with his family.

 

[morefaithrequired]

Thanks. It Is difficult to go through, but maybe that's because I am learning from it.
I was naggy and pushy at times, I wanted him to not bring home his work, I didn't keep up with the house like I should have, I probably spent money on stuff that either we didn't need or we could have waited on, and I didn't have a good relationship with his family.

Thanks. I appreciate your honesty. You've established you are a human being like the rest of us. Hopefully some good can come out of this for all concerned. God Bless.

 

[calibob]

The issue has to do with ministry and being used by God. It depends on how important our priesthood is before God. If a person is divorced then they are already disqualified to be a pastor because they need to live a life that sets a right example for people.

I am very aware of that my ex-wife petitioned for a one party no fault divorce and there was nothing I could legally do about it. She even put a restraining order on me to prevent me from trying to reconcile. Afterwards, I got asked to leave our former Assemblies of God associated Church because they didn't allow adulterers or divorced men to worship with them. So it is what it is, life goes on.

My ex saw an add in a local Christian newspaper from a marriage counselor who turned out to be a divorced woman. What my ex was told was something like; "If you are unhappy in your marriage it separates you from God and that's a sin. It's better to get a divorce and ask for forgiveness than to stay in an unhappy marriage. God wants you to be happy." My ex was really bi-polar. She's married to a Catholic now.

 

[morefaithrequired]

She's married to a Catholic now.

at least that's one positive

 

[calibob]

at least that's one positive

Oh, I don't care. But it's quite a switch from an AG preachers kid to the RCC. But since we weren't Catholics they don't consider that she was ever married and so neither our marriage or divorce ever meant anything.
She sent me the kids so I truly got the best part of the deal. No complaints about that.

 

[Hevosmies]

You are free to remarry. Your husband is a SCUMBAG for doing that to you, absolute human filth I got zero respect for someone like that they are below animals in my books!

I hope and pray you get full custody and a GOOD HUSBAND that you deserve. I really appreciate your good spirit even in this terrible situation that you STILL wanna try and figure it out, THAT PROVES TO ME, you were the loyal one that kept it real the WHOLE TIME.

Btw I can guarantee that your husband's next relationship will FAIL miserably, thats what always happens to guys like that who start fooling around. Your heart is in the RIGHT PLACE for praying and doing everything in your power to keep the marriage together and not only that I got RESPECT for you for STILL being willing to FORGIVE HIM and look past that. I know you are a bigger person than me for that, I could never let that slide I would be too heartbroken

TAKE A LOOK LADIES at shrimp, thats a GODLY Christian woman right there. A true WARRIOR, YOU CAN BE SURE shrimp that God will reward you for all of this.

 

[Hevosmies]

I feel sorry for anyone divorcing. it must be so traumatic . And scarring as well.
But i dont like seeing someone post their ex spouse's sins on an Internet forum as if they themselves are totally blameless.

............. You out here defending a cheater good stuff hey. Unbelivable.

It doesnt matter WHAT the wife has done or NOT DONE, it does not excuse ADULTERY or CHEATING on someone. But hey, aint you a catholic? That goes with the territory I guess. We already know what your priests are about.

 

[shrimp]

You are free to remarry. Your husband is a SCUMBAG for doing that to you, absolute human filth I got zero respect for someone like that they are below animals in my books!

I hope and pray you get full custody and a GOOD HUSBAND that you deserve. I really appreciate your good spirit even in this terrible situation that you STILL wanna try and figure it out, THAT PROVES TO ME, you were the loyal one that kept it real the WHOLE TIME.

Btw I can guarantee that your husband's next relationship will FAIL miserably, thats what always happens to guys like that who start fooling around. Your heart is in the RIGHT PLACE for praying and doing everything in your power to keep the marriage together and not only that I got RESPECT for you for STILL being willing to FORGIVE HIM and look past that. I know you are a bigger person than me for that, I could never let that slide I would be too heartbroken

TAKE A LOOK LADIES at shrimp, thats a GODLY Christian woman right there. A true WARRIOR, YOU CAN BE SURE shrimp that God will reward you for all of this.

The true reward is walking with God. I can't ask for much more than that. The hope that my husband and children will walk with Him. But that's about it.

 

[calibob]

............. You out here defending a cheater good stuff hey. Unbelivable.

It doesnt matter WHAT the wife has done or NOT DONE, it does not excuse ADULTERY or CHEATING on someone. But hey, aint you a catholic? That goes with the territory I guess. We already know what your priests are about.

And I'm not catholic
Now that's below the belt. And I'm not a Catholic.

 

[calibob]

............. You out here defending a cheater good stuff hey. Unbelivable.

It doesnt matter WHAT the wife has done or NOT DONE, it does not excuse ADULTERY or CHEATING on someone. But hey, aint you a catholic? That goes with the territory I guess. We already know what your priests are about.

Don't forget about what happed With Jim Bakker or Jimmy Swaggart. There's plenty of perverts in all sorts of robes!

 

[TheLearner]

read to here

 

[Nehemiah6]

... I am wondering what does the Bible say about women like me after divorce? What should I do now?

Hello shrimp,
Sorry to hear about this. Perhaps you could ask the mods to move it to the Family Forum. It would be best to ask your pastors or elders as to how you should handle this. Divorce is always tragic, but only those who know you personally, and know of your situation first hand, can advise you properly.

 

[Dino246]

I'm not sure if that is what I was thinking. But I appreciate your answer. Maybe that is part of it. I guess I just am very confused about what my role is now and was wondering if God's Word has anything about what I am facing.

May I suggest that you sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org. You'll get a daily email with a brief passage of Scripture and a few relevant comments.

 

[Hungry]

This a case of times have changed and scriptures haven't. Let's consider first that the wife was considered much like the husbands property. Women had few if any rights and could not own real estate. If a father without a son or sons died, his daughter or daughters had to marry someone from her/their fathers tribe so their fathers inheritance would stay within his tribe.

Husband were also permited to multiple wives and concubines. Women did not have the right to divorce their husbands. That's why the Biblical divorce laws were directed at husbands in every case I can recall. If she was not guilty of adultery and it was not the reason for divorce and she remarried. The sin of adultery fell upon the husband as well her second husband. Enough of those legalistic technicalities because Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. NIV. I think that most hetrosexual men fall into that category.

Now about the custody enigma; If your locality has a 1 party/ no fault divorce law and you contest the divorce. Your husbands lawer can declare you to be a hostile influence. Which would hinder your ability to even see your child or children. Our post modern society laws are not based on Biblical standards but the mumbo jumbo lawyers go to school for years to learn how to twist and turn.

I seriously doubt if the Lord will hold it against you, if you make the decision that allows you see or keep your kids. In my opinion the entire mess will be upon his (your husbands) head not yours. In most case I've heard of, Courts prefer maternal or joint/shared custody over and unmarried father. I've been through it. So I'm not just an inexperienced talking head. May the Lord be your counselor and the Holy Spirit be your helper. In Jesus name.

The part in Matthew you highlighted is most likely translated loosely. The word for woman is mostly used for wife. So it makes more sense that Jesus stated that anyone who looks at a wife lustfully already commited adultery. The other way pretty much condemns anyone with a healthy amount of testosterone. Regardless, pornography is still lust of the flesh. It’s just not adultery, as many would argue.

 

[Hungry]

Thanks. It Is difficult to go through, but maybe that's because I am learning from it.
I was naggy and pushy at times, I wanted him to not bring home his work, I didn't keep up with the house like I should have, I probably spent money on stuff that either we didn't need or we could have waited on, and I didn't have a good relationship with his family.

Sorry for your pain. Hindsight is 20/20 and everyone can look back to see how they could have been wiser. There’s no point dwelling on it. As painful as it is, sometimes we need to just pick ourselves up and keep moving. You need to be strong for your children. Over doesn’t always have to be “over”. If you really want to be who you claim then try not to be adversarial and bitter. If he is a good father then let the children still have a good father. I’m not saying give up custody but be fair. If he has good qualities then think of those instead of how he hurt you. When he sees that you can be his cheerleader instead of an enemy, you would be surprised how fast a heart can melt.

 

[Aerials1978]

The part in Matthew you highlighted is most likely translated loosely. The word for woman is mostly used for wife. So it makes more sense that Jesus stated that anyone who looks at a wife lustfully already commited adultery. The other way pretty much condemns anyone with a healthy amount of testosterone. Regardless, pornography is still lust of the flesh. It’s just not adultery, as many would argue.[/QUOTE
The scriptures are pretty clear on what adultery is especially in the Old Testament. Also Jesus(and Paul for that matter) stated what it is. God takes this very seriously as it’s not so much the Earthy institution of marriage, but His people and their relationship with Him. As a Man whom had looked at other women with lust, I can testify that it was a form of adultery in my heart. We could discuss the translation of certain words in the Bible, but the reality of it much, much more impactful.

 

[shrimp]

Hello shrimp,
Sorry to hear about this. Perhaps you could ask the mods to move it to the Family Forum. It would be best to ask your pastors or elders as to how you should handle this. Divorce is always tragic, but only those who know you personally, and know of your situation first hand, can advise you properly.

Thanks for the suggestion, but my question is what restrictions are divorced women under in service to God? Especially if the women aren't at fault?

 

[Hungry]

Thanks for the suggestion, but my question is what restrictions are divorced women under in service to God? Especially if the women aren't at fault?

There are none