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Hi Meg!
Thanks so much for sharing with us... We are honored to be able to talk to you about this situation in your life.
I'm no expert by any means, but have been around older adults for a good portion of my life. May I ask, what is this gentleman's family situation like? Does he have kids?
Here are some of the challenges I've seen some couples with large age gaps find themselves in:
* Jealousy Issues: the new woman is very young and attractive -- and the man's ex-wife hates her for that, telling everyone she must be a gold digger. The man has some people who admire him for snagging someone young and beautiful (and Meg, you are gorgeous!!!), but others in their family/social circle criticize, mock, and belittle her just out of jealousy and spite.
* Along the same lines -- if this man has kids, how old are they? The kids might see you as competition for their father's attention -- and money, if he has any, and that usually doesn't go over well. I've seen some situations in which the kids refuse to acknowledge the new woman at all, and will not speak to their father if she is there. Some will speak to their father WHILE she is sitting right there, and completely ignore her just to hurt her.
* I once worked with a girl who was with a guy considerably older... and he had grandchildren. She was in shock at being called "Grandma" at age 33, as well as having the grandchildren dropped off on her doorstep for her to look after.
* Health Issues: while of course anyone can have health issues at any age, even some of the people I knew who had exercised all their lives were getting hip/knee/back replacements in their 50's and 60's. This might work out great for them and give them a new start, of course, but it could also turn you into a caretaker very quickly.
* Mid-Life Crisis: the older partner has a need to prove that they are still young (especially since they've snagged someone younger) and throws caution out the window, spending dangerous amounts of money on sports cars, etc., or picking up old habits like drinking and partying that they used to participate in when they were younger.
And of course... Early widowhood... Someone 20 years older is most definitely likely to be called home first, which might be a very tough situation for some younger spouses to handle.
Maybe none of this would apply to your situation at all, but just thought I would mention them.
Please keep us posted!!
Here's to wishing you all the best.
Thanks so much for sharing with us... We are honored to be able to talk to you about this situation in your life.
I'm no expert by any means, but have been around older adults for a good portion of my life. May I ask, what is this gentleman's family situation like? Does he have kids?
Here are some of the challenges I've seen some couples with large age gaps find themselves in:
* Jealousy Issues: the new woman is very young and attractive -- and the man's ex-wife hates her for that, telling everyone she must be a gold digger. The man has some people who admire him for snagging someone young and beautiful (and Meg, you are gorgeous!!!), but others in their family/social circle criticize, mock, and belittle her just out of jealousy and spite.
* Along the same lines -- if this man has kids, how old are they? The kids might see you as competition for their father's attention -- and money, if he has any, and that usually doesn't go over well. I've seen some situations in which the kids refuse to acknowledge the new woman at all, and will not speak to their father if she is there. Some will speak to their father WHILE she is sitting right there, and completely ignore her just to hurt her.
* I once worked with a girl who was with a guy considerably older... and he had grandchildren. She was in shock at being called "Grandma" at age 33, as well as having the grandchildren dropped off on her doorstep for her to look after.
* Health Issues: while of course anyone can have health issues at any age, even some of the people I knew who had exercised all their lives were getting hip/knee/back replacements in their 50's and 60's. This might work out great for them and give them a new start, of course, but it could also turn you into a caretaker very quickly.
* Mid-Life Crisis: the older partner has a need to prove that they are still young (especially since they've snagged someone younger) and throws caution out the window, spending dangerous amounts of money on sports cars, etc., or picking up old habits like drinking and partying that they used to participate in when they were younger.
And of course... Early widowhood... Someone 20 years older is most definitely likely to be called home first, which might be a very tough situation for some younger spouses to handle.
Maybe none of this would apply to your situation at all, but just thought I would mention them.
Please keep us posted!!
Here's to wishing you all the best.
I had some old general rules back when I was dating....going out in a group was always good, that way you get to see how a person interacts with others. I've always loved the saying that if someone you're dating is rude/mean to the waiting staff but nice to you...then they're not a nice person.
I wouldn't do it, definitely not. I'm 47 now, so I'm thinking, when you're 47 he will be 67
... you are a very attractive woman... my thoughts are you would regret it in the long run... if you are only intrigued right now, that's a red flag to me... I would want to be feeling like, Yesssss he is sooo my type lol
xx
(That sounds terrible doesn't it
I just mean, you know, sometimes there's a strong attraction (and I realise that there is far more to it than this bug if still matters).
In a few years you don't want to feel more like someone's carer than their husband just because of age. I would happily care for my spouse if need be but you know what I mean.... and when I've looked on dating sites, at many profiles, I see that looks can fade a LOT later on, I wouldn't want to find myself not attracted to my spouse at some point because the difference is so great.
I would compare him with guys around your age and be very honest with yourself x
... you are a very attractive woman... my thoughts are you would regret it in the long run... if you are only intrigued right now, that's a red flag to me... I would want to be feeling like, Yesssss he is sooo my type lolxx(That sounds terrible doesn't it
I just mean, you know, sometimes there's a strong attraction (and I realise that there is far more to it than this bug if still matters).In a few years you don't want to feel more like someone's carer than their husband just because of age. I would happily care for my spouse if need be but you know what I mean.... and when I've looked on dating sites, at many profiles, I see that looks can fade a LOT later on, I wouldn't want to find myself not attracted to my spouse at some point because the difference is so great.
I would compare him with guys around your age and be very honest with yourself x
M
MegMarch
Guest
Hey girl! Excellent points, and I think many would apply to this situation. Although it is a bit early to tell, I think it is safe to say he is moving in closer every week. Haha.Hi Meg!
Thanks so much for sharing with us... We are honored to be able to talk to you about this situation in your life.
I'm no expert by any means, but have been around older adults for a good portion of my life. May I ask, what is this gentleman's family situation like? Does he have kids?
Here are some of the challenges I've seen some couples with large age gaps find themselves in:
* Jealousy Issues: the new woman is very young and attractive -- and the man's ex-wife hates her for that, telling everyone she must be a gold digger. The man has some people who admire him for snagging someone young and beautiful (and Meg, you are gorgeous!!!), but others in their family/social circle criticize, mock, and belittle her just out of jealousy and spite.
* Along the same lines -- if this man has kids, how old are they? The kids might see you as competition for their father's attention -- and money, if he has any, and that usually doesn't go over well. I've seen some situations in which the kids refuse to acknowledge the new woman at all, and will not speak to their father if she is there. Some will speak to their father WHILE he's there, and completely ignore her just to hurt her.
* I once worked with a girl who was with a guy considerably older... and he had grandchildren. She was in shock at being called "Grandma" at age 33, as well as having the grandchildren dropped off on her doorstep for her to look after.
* Health Issues: while of course anyone can have health issues at any age, even some of the people I knew who had exercised all their lives were getting hip/knee/back replacements in their 50's and 60's. This might work out great for them and give them a new start, of course, but it could also turn you into a caretaker very quickly.
* Mid-Life Crisis: the older partner has a need to prove that they are still young (especially since they've snagged someone younger) and throws caution out the window, spending dangerous amounts of money on sports cars, etc., or picking up old habits like drinking and partying that they used to participate in when they were younger.
And of course... Early widowhood... Someone 20 years older is most definitely likely to be called home first, which might be a very tough situation for some younger spouses to handle.
Maybe none of this would apply to your situation at all, but just thought I would mention them.
Please keep us posted!!
Here's to wishing you all the best.
I will chew on all that you said if he makes his intentions known for certain. Thank you tons!
"What is the biggest age gap you would consider when dating someone?"
I wouldn't consider any number within reason an issue if the connection is there, we are both adults already, both Christian, have been talking long enough to know eachothers values and beliefs are in tune...
I do believe maturity can definitely outshine youth in regards to what is "attractive" for me.....so
I can understand how many women do no want a younger man....
May kinda mess with the order of a typical relationship.... what if this younger man was less mature than you but also wanted to fulfill his role as a husband and spiritual leader......
Not to say husbands don't learn just as much from their wives... just that I think these age gaps have more to do with preference and what's easy than who we are capable of loving until death do us part while remaining faithful through the ups and downs...
No one.... wants to be a baby sitter
but if you go for someone too much older or younger one day .. thats probably gonna happen and if you stay forever, the role may eventually reverse lol
my lady is 42
I am ..... almost 30
we are weak and strong in different areas... have learned a lot from eachother
(more patience than anything else
)
I wouldn't consider any number within reason an issue if the connection is there, we are both adults already, both Christian, have been talking long enough to know eachothers values and beliefs are in tune...
I do believe maturity can definitely outshine youth in regards to what is "attractive" for me.....so
I can understand how many women do no want a younger man....
May kinda mess with the order of a typical relationship.... what if this younger man was less mature than you but also wanted to fulfill his role as a husband and spiritual leader......
Not to say husbands don't learn just as much from their wives... just that I think these age gaps have more to do with preference and what's easy than who we are capable of loving until death do us part while remaining faithful through the ups and downs...
No one.... wants to be a baby sitter
but if you go for someone too much older or younger one day .. thats probably gonna happen and if you stay forever, the role may eventually reverse lol
my lady is 42
I am ..... almost 30
we are weak and strong in different areas... have learned a lot from eachother
(more patience than anything else
)
S
Susanna
Guest
20 years though! Haha! I don’t know man. That would definitely give people something to talk about.
That’s what makes it interesting. People gossip, making theories and adding millions to the facts. Can it even be better?
Oh mon chérie, you ´ave to tell us everything
.
M
MegMarch
Guest
I wouldn't do it, definitely not. I'm 47 now, so I'm thinking, when you're 47 he will be 67
(That sounds terrible doesn't it
In a few years you don't want to feel more like someone's carer than their husband just because of age. I would happily care for my spouse if need be but you know what I mean.... and when I've looked on dating sites, at many profiles, I see that looks can fade a LOT later on, I wouldn't want to find myself not attracted to my spouse at some point because the difference is so great.
I would compare him with guys around your age and be very honest with yourself x
Thank you SO much! You are too kind! I think you are right. 20 years is a lot. Unless the Lord leads me to a different understanding, that is where I currently stand.
M
MegMarch
Guest
That’s what makes it interesting. People gossip, making theories and adding millions to the facts. Can it even be better?
Oh mon chérie, you ´ave to tell us everything
That accent though! Haha!
That’s what makes it interesting. People gossip, making theories and adding millions to the facts. Can it even be better?
Oh mon chérie, you ´ave to tell us everything
LOL, Susanna, you are a kick!
CC just wouldn't be the same without you!
M
MegMarch
Guest
She cracks me up! I usually write y’all in some of my posts in honor of Susanna.LOL, Susanna, you are a kick!
CC just wouldn't be the same without you!
I wouldn't do it, definitely not. I'm 47 now, so I'm thinking, when you're 47 he will be 67
(That sounds terrible doesn't it
In a few years you don't want to feel more like someone's carer than their husband just because of age. I would happily care for my spouse if need be but you know what I mean.... and when I've looked on dating sites, at many profiles, I see that looks can fade a LOT later on, I wouldn't want to find myself not attracted to my spouse at some point because the difference is so great.
I would compare him with guys around your age and be very honest with yourself x
I was thinking those same thoughts but i figured I would leave it up to Butterflyyy to say it!
Anywho I’m heading out. Have a blessed day y’all!
M
MegMarch
Guest
Mike, thinks the same thoughts as butterfly.I was thinking those same thoughts but i figured I would leave it up to Butterflyyy to say it!
Anywho I’m heading out. Have a blessed day y’all!
Replies: “Pray about it and give the guy a chance.”
S
Susanna
Guest
She cracks me up! I usually write y’all in some of my posts in honor of Susanna.
And I rarely even use “y’all” because it doesn’t come naturally with my way of speaking
.
S
Susanna
Guest
Hrmph....I usually speak without an accent, but when my speech has to contain some drama I have to imagine how my mother is speaking and then it’s English with a very thick French accent haha, because she reeeeally knows how to add drama to anything
.
M
MegMarch
Guest
Perfect because I’m not even from the South!And I rarely even use “y’all” because it doesn’t come naturally with my way of speaking
Love it!!Hrmph....I usually speak without an accent, but when my speech has to contain some drama I have to imagine how my mother is speaking and then it’s English with a very thick French accent haha, because she reeeeally knows how to add drama to anything
S
Susanna
Guest
Perfect because I’m not even from the South!
But you know how Texans are supposed to say “y’all” and “Yee Haw”. Haha