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Yes it is a fine line. Self pity (or *wallowing in self-pity*) is simply feeling sorry for ourselves, which leads to depression and despair. Not a very healthy thing.
Self-compassion is not being too hard on ourselves after we have done everything we can to deal with the issues that face us.
Self-compassion is not being too hard on ourselves after we have done everything we can to deal with the issues that face us.
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Self pity is good sometimes, as it leads to reflection and sometimes action, but yes, you can wallow in it too much. You have to have self-compassion, & be kind to yourself sometimes - a bit like self justification. Like people who do heaps for others and then burn out, & become ill. Sometimes you just have to learn to say NO to others and look after yourself. You can't help or heal everyone; sometimes, you can only heal yourself.
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(from self-compassion.org)
Self-Compassion is not self-pity.
When individuals feel self-pity, they become immersed in their own problems and forget that others have similar problems. They ignore their interconnections with others, and instead feel that they are the only ones in the world who are suffering. Self-pity tends to emphasize egocentric feelings of separation from others and exaggerate the extent of personal suffering. Self-compassion, on the other hand, allows one to see the related experiences of self and other without these feelings of isolation and disconnection. Also, self-pitying individuals often become carried away with and wrapped up in their own emotional drama. They cannot step back from their situation and adopt a more balanced or objective perspective. In contrast, by taking the perspective of a compassionate other towards oneself, “mental space” is provided to recognize the broader human context of one’s experience and to put things in greater perspective. (“Yes it is very difficult what I’m going through right now, but there are many other people who are experiencing much greater suffering. Perhaps this isn’t worth getting quite so upset about…”)
Self-Compassion is not self-pity.
When individuals feel self-pity, they become immersed in their own problems and forget that others have similar problems. They ignore their interconnections with others, and instead feel that they are the only ones in the world who are suffering. Self-pity tends to emphasize egocentric feelings of separation from others and exaggerate the extent of personal suffering. Self-compassion, on the other hand, allows one to see the related experiences of self and other without these feelings of isolation and disconnection. Also, self-pitying individuals often become carried away with and wrapped up in their own emotional drama. They cannot step back from their situation and adopt a more balanced or objective perspective. In contrast, by taking the perspective of a compassionate other towards oneself, “mental space” is provided to recognize the broader human context of one’s experience and to put things in greater perspective. (“Yes it is very difficult what I’m going through right now, but there are many other people who are experiencing much greater suffering. Perhaps this isn’t worth getting quite so upset about…”)
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Back pain is horrid. You can't sit or lie or stand without it hurting - it impacts on everything we do.
I've cared for many people with this problem, and empathise with all of them.
If you like, you can PM me and I can give you some hints & tips to help, though you are probably sick of people telling you what you should and shouldn't do!
I hope you feel better today
I've cared for many people with this problem, and empathise with all of them.
If you like, you can PM me and I can give you some hints & tips to help, though you are probably sick of people telling you what you should and shouldn't do!
I hope you feel better today
M
Back pain is horrid. You can't sit or lie or stand without it hurting - it impacts on everything we do.
I've cared for many people with this problem, and empathise with all of them.
If you like, you can PM me and I can give you some hints & tips to help, though you are probably sick of people telling you what you should and shouldn't do!
I hope you feel better today
I've cared for many people with this problem, and empathise with all of them.
If you like, you can PM me and I can give you some hints & tips to help, though you are probably sick of people telling you what you should and shouldn't do!
I hope you feel better today
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For those fascinated by my awesome back pain story.........here goes.
Age 14 hyper extention in rugby game. Fainted in the arms of my least favourite teacher.
Age 35 diagnosed with spondylolisthesis of L5/S1. Didnt have youtube then. for free advice.
Aged. 55. Add severe degeneration of disc at L5/S1.
Stenosis too.
I do lots of core strengthening exercises. Some days are better than others.
Age 14 hyper extention in rugby game. Fainted in the arms of my least favourite teacher.
Age 35 diagnosed with spondylolisthesis of L5/S1. Didnt have youtube then. for free advice.
Aged. 55. Add severe degeneration of disc at L5/S1.
Stenosis too.
I do lots of core strengthening exercises. Some days are better than others.
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You haven't tried CT guided steroid injections for relief? (not everyone's cup of tea I know).
Or a discectomy/microdiscectomy, where they can take the disc out and can perhaps replace it?
Should also try rhyzolysis - link for info:
https://www.spinal-care.co.uk/rhizolysis/
Anyway won't nag you as I know it becomes annoying.
Or a discectomy/microdiscectomy, where they can take the disc out and can perhaps replace it?
Should also try rhyzolysis - link for info:
https://www.spinal-care.co.uk/rhizolysis/
Anyway won't nag you as I know it becomes annoying.
T
I pesonally don't think fusion is the best way to go. I've nursed people that have had it and regret it. The theory is that you will have limited range of movement (ROM) after surgery, so the less you move, the less pain you have. But fusion doesn't always get rid of the pain. It doesn't have great success rates IMO.
I'd look into rhyzolysis first.
There are also other procedures you can try, such as shaving the nerve/s involved (to reduce it's excitability, therefore limiting, or getting rid of pain), and surgeons can also introduce a thecal catheter into your spine, whereby pain medication is introduced.
Anyway I guess your ortho bloke has gone through a few options with you. Yours may not be nerve pain exactly though.
Have you tried taking gabapentin or pregabalin for nerve pain?
I'd look into rhyzolysis first.
There are also other procedures you can try, such as shaving the nerve/s involved (to reduce it's excitability, therefore limiting, or getting rid of pain), and surgeons can also introduce a thecal catheter into your spine, whereby pain medication is introduced.
Anyway I guess your ortho bloke has gone through a few options with you. Yours may not be nerve pain exactly though.
Have you tried taking gabapentin or pregabalin for nerve pain?
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