What is the difference between self-pity and self-compassion?

  • Thread starter Thread starter morefaithrequired
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
Its a fine line in my book.
Meanwhile I am feeling very sorry for myself after accidentally running into a chair collecting machine. Ouch my side. ive done serious damage. well, it hurts when I bend a bit, but otherwise.... mm...ok.. I will live but still.... poor me :)
 
That I know of, pity has to do with sorrow and sadness of the present situation. Compassion is being fair to yourself and letting yourself grow from it and heal. I think?
 
i will have a guess. Self compassion is concern for self without obsession. self pity is spending a lot of time thinking about our problem. Turning it into a drama in some cases.
 
  • Like
Reactions: IFOLLOWHIM
Self-pity is either destructive or simply time wasting. Self-compassion is constructive.

Then there's just feeling bad about what happened, which is entirely a different matter.
 
  • Like
Reactions: IFOLLOWHIM
morefaithrequired said:
Its a fine line in my book
Click to expand...
Yes it is a fine line. Self pity (or *wallowing in self-pity*) is simply feeling sorry for ourselves, which leads to depression and despair. Not a very healthy thing.

Self-compassion is not being too hard on ourselves after we have done everything we can to deal with the issues that face us.
 
Nehemiah6 said:
Yes it is a fine line. Self pity (or *wallowing in self-pity*) is simply feeling sorry for ourselves, which leads to depression and despair. Not a very healthy thing.

Self-compassion is not being too hard on ourselves after we have done everything we can to deal with the issues that face us.
Click to expand...
not a bad effort. would prefer a more detailed and nuanced definition though.
 
Self pity is good sometimes, as it leads to reflection and sometimes action, but yes, you can wallow in it too much. You have to have self-compassion, & be kind to yourself sometimes - a bit like self justification. Like people who do heaps for others and then burn out, & become ill. Sometimes you just have to learn to say NO to others and look after yourself. You can't help or heal everyone; sometimes, you can only heal yourself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: IFOLLOWHIM and morefaithrequired
tasha66 said:
Self pity is good sometimes, as it leads to reflection and sometimes action, but yes, you can wallow in it too much. You have to have self-compassion, & be kind to yourself sometimes - a bit like self justification. Like people who do heaps for others and then burn out, & become ill. Sometimes you just have to learn to say NO to others and look after yourself. You can't help or heal everyone; sometimes, you can only heal yourself.
Click to expand...
I wont burn out from helping others. My life is pretty selfish but surprisingly happy. Must be the grace of God. I owe Him big time.
 
(from self-compassion.org)

Self-Compassion is not self-pity.

When individuals feel self-pity, they become immersed in their own problems and forget that others have similar problems. They ignore their interconnections with others, and instead feel that they are the only ones in the world who are suffering. Self-pity tends to emphasize egocentric feelings of separation from others and exaggerate the extent of personal suffering. Self-compassion, on the other hand, allows one to see the related experiences of self and other without these feelings of isolation and disconnection. Also, self-pitying individuals often become carried away with and wrapped up in their own emotional drama. They cannot step back from their situation and adopt a more balanced or objective perspective. In contrast, by taking the perspective of a compassionate other towards oneself, “mental space” is provided to recognize the broader human context of one’s experience and to put things in greater perspective. (“Yes it is very difficult what I’m going through right now, but there are many other people who are experiencing much greater suffering. Perhaps this isn’t worth getting quite so upset about…”)
 
  • Like
Reactions: JaumeJ
I have to remember that my back pain is very common. Im not the only one with it.
 
IFOLLOWHIM said:
I will feel compassion for you MFR!
Pain hurts regardless of age!
It's ok to moan about.......
I pray you heal fast!
Click to expand...
I'm an unashamed self-pitying drama queen online. (ok offline as well) it gives me something to talk about if I run out of ideas. :)
 
morefaithrequired said:
I have to remember that my back pain is very common. Im not the only one with it.
Click to expand...

Back pain is horrid. You can't sit or lie or stand without it hurting - it impacts on everything we do.
I've cared for many people with this problem, and empathise with all of them.
If you like, you can PM me and I can give you some hints & tips to help, though you are probably sick of people telling you what you should and shouldn't do!
I hope you feel better today :)
 
tasha66 said:
Back pain is horrid. You can't sit or lie or stand without it hurting - it impacts on everything we do.
I've cared for many people with this problem, and empathise with all of them.
If you like, you can PM me and I can give you some hints & tips to help, though you are probably sick of people telling you what you should and shouldn't do!
I hope you feel better today :)
Click to expand...
i cant PM. 24 dollars is a lot of money.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tasha66
For those fascinated by my awesome back pain story.........here goes.
Age 14 hyper extention in rugby game. Fainted in the arms of my least favourite teacher.
Age 35 diagnosed with spondylolisthesis of L5/S1. Didnt have youtube then. for free advice.
Aged. 55. Add severe degeneration of disc at L5/S1.
Stenosis too.

I do lots of core strengthening exercises. Some days are better than others.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tasha66
morefaithrequired said:
For those fascinated by my awesome back pain story.........here goes.
Age 14 hyper extention in rugby game. Fainted in the arms of my least favourite teacher.
Age 35 diagnosed with spondylolisthesis of L5/S1. Didnt have youtube then. for free advice.
Aged. 55. Add severe degeneration of disc at L5/S1.
Stenosis too.
I do lots of core strengthening exercises. Some days are better than others.
Click to expand...

You haven't tried CT guided steroid injections for relief? (not everyone's cup of tea I know).
Or a discectomy/microdiscectomy, where they can take the disc out and can perhaps replace it?
Should also try rhyzolysis - link for info:
https://www.spinal-care.co.uk/rhizolysis/
Anyway won't nag you as I know it becomes annoying.
 
tasha66 said:
You haven't tried CT guided steroid injections for relief? (not everyone's cup of tea I know).
Or a discectomy/microdiscectomy, where they can take the disc out and can perhaps replace it?
Should also try rhyzolysis - link for info:
https://www.spinal-care.co.uk/rhizolysis/
Anyway won't nag you as I know it becomes annoying.
Click to expand...
had several different injections. didnt work.
saw orthopedic surgeon on Monday. now seriously considering surgery which invilves fusion. Stats seem to indicate less than fifty per cent improvement. Some are worse after surgery.
 
  • Like
Reactions: IFOLLOWHIM
I pesonally don't think fusion is the best way to go. I've nursed people that have had it and regret it. The theory is that you will have limited range of movement (ROM) after surgery, so the less you move, the less pain you have. But fusion doesn't always get rid of the pain. It doesn't have great success rates IMO.
I'd look into rhyzolysis first.
There are also other procedures you can try, such as shaving the nerve/s involved (to reduce it's excitability, therefore limiting, or getting rid of pain), and surgeons can also introduce a thecal catheter into your spine, whereby pain medication is introduced.
Anyway I guess your ortho bloke has gone through a few options with you. Yours may not be nerve pain exactly though.
Have you tried taking gabapentin or pregabalin for nerve pain?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back