Hi Beamrider, I totally get that it's annoying when people think you're interested when you aren't, but sometimes it can be really hard to tell what a person's intentions are.
That is true for all of us. Sometimes single women say they are married and wear rings to discourage men from hitting on them, or so they say. Who knows why they really act like they are married in public.
Men these days tend to be very apprehensive about approaching women (understandably),
I don't know. I never had much trouble approaching them or asking if they were interested in coffee, dinner, and conversation. If she says no then that is fine. Never ask twice. Move on to another one. Sometimes it has to be done and esp with men who may not know many women or work mostly with other men. Like anything else, it gets better with practice.
so when a guy does step out of the norm it usually catches us off-guard. And as you illustrated with your example, it caused some issues when a married lady did NOT disclose her status to you right away.
No real issues, since she kept talking to me about relocating to the Philippines, which was never going to happen with me.
It kinda sounds like you're saying "Don't disclose your status unless I'm actually interested, in which case you need to tell me right away".
No that is not what i am saying. Have in the past, found it annoying when they reveal their marriage status right away because of the presumption. I work with a lot of women, and I still don't know anything about them, and I'm really not interested in their personal lives any more than they are in mine. So, in those circumstances, they do not reveal their marital status.
Most women are just going to punt and tell you right away so that you will have the info. And some husbands would be upset with them if they didn't, so perhaps they are doing it out of respect for their men.
Do not believe the husband was upset with his wife or me but who knows? It is his wife and his problem, not mine. But i certainly can relate, now that i think about it and look in my rear views, so to speak.
A lot of factors are at play here, I'm just presenting the other side of the coin.
All the woman has to do is show up and do some conversation for a free meal and a little of her time and if she is not willing to do that then she can jump in the lake was my attitude. I was the one who was in the position of convincing her to go on a second date, meaning performance time, all the while trying to enjoy the evening. Normally, it was at a place of her choosing. One lady told me she loved Burger King..... I liked her. She talked my ear off and loved the food.
