Why do you? I just typed a few lines, you replied with several paragraphs. If you have a relationship with Lord Jesus, it'd be already rewarding, you won't need to date, it'd be a burden and distraction.
Why Are So Many Christians Still Single?
- Thread starter celras
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Love and hates means you have strong feelings about a person, and it is possible to feel both at once. Indifference though is not caring at all, not having any feelings, so I think you are right about indifference being the opposite of love.No, it's indifference.
Does indifference really exist when it comes to one's regard to other people?
I can be indifferent about what to have for supper but people not sure?
Unless one has a personality disorder I think indifference is a challenge to achieve, we are social creatures.
Mister, you've typed tons of lines in this thread and other threads on this very topic!
If dating/relationships are a burden and a distraction to you, then don't date. It's that simple, but don't be negative towards those that do date/wish to be in a relationship.
A person can absolutely be in a relationship with the Lord and with a person. The Lord created us with that ability! How smashing is that?
It isn't. Indifference is absolute absence of any care or opinion about something. It doesn't get affected at all by that object or person. So how can indifference be a symptom of hate?
Hate still means the object affects you except in a negative way. An unhealthy love can bring on a symptom of hate.
Id say personality disorders are more common than we would like to believe these days. There are a lot of people that are so self centred that they lack apathy for others. Such as sociopaths.
Myself I can not feel indifferent about anything or anyone though.
The Lord did not create modern dating, it was a human invention in the 20th century. What's smashing is taking the Lord's name in vain by calling any form of dating "Christian".Mister, you've typed tons of lines in this thread and other threads on this very topic!
If dating/relationships are a burden and a distraction to you, then don't date. It's that simple, but don't be negative towards those that do date/wish to be in a relationship.
A person can absolutely be in a relationship with the Lord and with a person. The Lord created us with that ability! How smashing is that?
And yes, we can be in a relationship with God and a person - the person of Jesus Christ of Nazerath who became a man and dwelt among us, so we can have a relationship with God through him.
I'm not going to continue going in circles in a discussion over this. As far as I can tell, this conversation never gets anywhere with you, it just moves around to other threads. There are more important things for me to do. I only jumped back into this thread because I was interested in the input of Dustin240 and RodColeman on the friend thing, which I agree with their viewpoint. I was not seeking to get back into a discussion with you!
You have your life, as the rest of us each have our own. All the best to you.
True, I suppose depression (not in a clinical sense) can cause feelings of indifference towards others.
This idea that "indifference is opposite of love" is just another internet thing/cliche.
If we see love is an emotion the opposite emotion is hate.
Pretty sure I don't have a personality disorder but I'm pretty indifferent about most people most of the time. It's a level of I don't wish harm on anyone, but if your own stupid actions got you in a tough place that's not my problem or responsibility either.
Now the handful or two of people I really do care about I'll do almost anything to help, but most people aren't going to get that.
then go for your dates and have fun. To be honest, marriage is honorable, only dating is abominable.
Hi Rod,, It's confusing because you are thinking like a man, lol..... stop and try to think like a woman for a sec.
We are physically weaker than most of yall, so it takes longer to build trust. Picking up a stalker is no joke, and some guys get really possessive really fast. If he's not patient enough to get to know me through friendship then he's not patient enough to handle me for the long haul.
Women are generally choosier about who we from attachments with because submitting to the decisions of another human is no small matter: we won't date just anybody because we wouldn't marry just anybody. Guys often seem pretty content with "she's cute enough, ,she's nice enough, let's get married". But women need SO much more..... and it takes time to assess all that There are downsides to applying for a leadership position (which is what men are actually doing when they date a girl seriously), and one of those downsides is that leadership positions are always held to a higher standard. Rightly so....
Anyways..... I wasn't trying to imply that men should feel obligated to remain friends with a woman who has rejected him. And maybe female friendship is a bad idea for most guys, if so I respect that. I just know that I personally have never dated a guy without getting to know him first through friendship, and I don't see that ever changing
Oh, OK, interesting.
Yeah, I guess I can't help thinking like a man.
And, at least in my own experience, when a woman tells you wants to be "just friends," she doesn't change her mind about it later. That's just me, though.Still, I just think there's a difference between, on one hand, forming a friendship with the opposite sex through group interactions first (like a church young-adult group) and then having mutual interest grow, and, on the other hand, being attracted to someone and then trying to form a friendship in the hope that she'll change her mind later and decide she wants something more. That just seems a bit manipulative to me, but perhaps it does happen that way sometimes.
Oh, OK, interesting.
Yeah, I guess I can't help thinking like a man.
Still, I just think there's a difference between, on one hand, forming a friendship with the opposite sex through group interactions first (like a church young-adult group) and then having mutual interest grow, and, on the other hand, being attracted to someone and then trying to form a friendship in the hope that she'll change her mind later and decide she wants something more. That just seems a bit manipulative to me, but perhaps it does happen that way sometimes.
I must have the mind of a man, because if I refer to someone as a friend then I really mean that that is all they are or ever will be. I'd never refer to someone I'm interested in as a friend, as that would be putting them into the friend zone and I wouldn't want to jeopardize a potential relationship. Likewise, if they refer to me as friend, then I pull back and stop investing my emotions. It doesn't make sense to me to invest emotions into something that's not going anywhere and will only result in me being a fool lol.
Yeah, when a guy allows the "friend zone" to happen, he gives the woman all the power and completely kills any chance of her ever being attracted to him. As a guy, it's important to understand this. No matter how attracted you are to her, you can't "chase" her. By walking away, you respect her lack of attraction to you. But you also, I think, increase her respect for you as a man. And you gain confidence – which is attractive.
Being “friends” with the girl that you want to date is a bad place to be, I think. It doesn’t help anybody. Now, if you're casual friends in a group setting, I think that's manageable.
I’m not saying you can’t be friends with an attractive member of the opposite sex. I have lots of friends and many of them are women. I’m even friends, at some level with a woman that gently turned me down one time (all the stuff we've done together since has been in a group setting) But I didn’t get turned down and then become “hang out friends” with them.
The friend zone should be avoided at all costs, since, well, it’s not real friendship. It's when the girl uses the guy who she isn’t attracted to for the benefits. She comes to this guy with stories about other guys. She needs help with something and this guy rushes to help her. She has “spiritual questions” and this guy “ministers” to her, but the whole time the guy wants to date her, and is hoping she'll change her mind, or tries to be "nice" to her in the hope that she'll somehow find him more attractive than he seemed before, when he was rejected. That's the friend zone, and it's a bad place to be.
Just my thoughts, though.
I agree. I feel the same way. If one person is interested/has feelings and the other person does not, it's best to go your own ways. A long time ago, I had feelings for a man who didn't have feelings for me and I'm thankful that he referred to me as a friend one day. Immediately, I pulled back. I know that he did that because he wanted me to know that was all there ever was going to be. We respected each other and there was no confusion or misleading. Likewise, if I ever refer to a man as a friend, I expect him to drop any feelings he has for me like a hot potato lol. It just makes sense to me to not play with each others emotions. If I feel nothing beyond friendship, then I want the gentleman to be able to go find the one that wants to be in his life. In my personal viewpoint, emotions are an investment and it's best to invest them wisely.
Yeah. People are, most likely, not going to change their mind about whether or not they're attracted to you. And they can't really, because we don't really choose who we're attracted to or not. It's just something that happens when you start spending time around interesting and good-looking people, haha.
Unfortunately, when the people we like turn us down, we can start to hope that this will be the case. That's usually where my own mind races to whenever I get turned down, but it takes time to process bad experiences like rejection so that you can move on. It's like the stages of grief, sometimes.
Attraction isn't really a choice. We don't really choose who we find good-looking or interesting. But we can certainly choose how we treat these people after they turn us down.
So, yeah, once you're in the "friend-zone"......you're done.
