Would You Date Someone With Kids?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Nuns_n_roses
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I'm in the same mind, OceanGrl. I love kids and they're drawn to me but what you've said really resonates with me. I'm conflicted.

OceanGrl said:
I'm conflicted about this, I love kids, but not sure I'd want to enter a pre-made family and then you have the worry about if the kids don't like you... yikes. That would be pretty bad. But, if the guy is amazing and the kind of person I would want to spend my life with, I could work through it. But overall, I just don't know.
Click to expand...
 
Yes I would. But - The things Ugly mentioned are considerations and make it more difficult. There is a bigger level of restriction and it would just be harder. I'm someone who would want a lot of time. (I'd imagine. :)) Possibly depends on the age of the kids too. I feel like under 4 or over 14 would be easier. Unsure why. And when you marry the girl you marry the kids too. Kinda like marrying someone doing medicine... bahaha.

So, I don't think it would stop me, but it would slow me down considerably.
 
It isn't the kids; it's everything else that comes with them...
freaky exes, creepy grandparents, custody problems, attorneys, court dates etc.

But kids... heck, kids are fine.
 
I wouldn't mind at all. I have a stepfather. Honestly, at first, it was difficult for him to become a father to two boys. He has been more of a father to me and my brother than our real father. I think it's for that reason, I would marry a woman with children. Just because they're not my biological son(or daughter), doesn't mean I can't be the father they want or need.
 
I highly doubt it. I'm about 99% sure I wouldn't.

I'm just not a kids person. Pretending otherwise wouldn't be fair to the kids or the guy.

I guess there is that 1% chance I could change my mind and see things a different way... ya know, when I'm older. But he would have to be a reeaaallllllllllllllllllllllly great guy with kids that don't see me as a threat in any way for me to consider it. I wouldn't wanna barge in on anyone's cozy little existence.
 
It depends. If they are widowed, yes. If the ex is no longer in the picture, yes. (And what I mean by in the picture, the ex is involved in the child's life.) If the ex is in the picture, not sure. Let's just say insecurity revolves around the ex. However, I would not let that completely prevent me from dating someone with children who's ex is still in the picture.
 
I don't have anything against it. I've dated someone with children before but he didn't have sole custody of them. It depends on who the person is too.
 
Theygaveutheirworst said:
I wouldn't mind at all. I have a stepfather. Honestly, at first, it was difficult for him to become a father to two boys. He has been more of a father to me and my brother than our real father. I think it's for that reason, I would marry a woman with children. Just because they're not my biological son(or daughter), doesn't mean I can't be the father they want or need.
Click to expand...

This is true, and reminded my of my parents. They are both my biological parents, but my mother had 3 children when she met my dad. Hence, i am an only child, with brother and sisters =P
Anyways, my dad raised those kids like his own. My mom died 16 years ago, and he still calls them 'my kids' rather than step kids. He still helps them out when he can. Talks to them regularly. And they call him 'dad', not 'my step dad' or by his first name.
 
Wouldn't it Be awkward? I probably would, but I would have to weigh things up before the date goes any further.
 
*I* think that it's different with every. single. situation. The woman, children and baby daddy conditions differ from case to case. I think it depends on how it all flows together, for everyone involved. You can have a general idea of how you feel about the idea of being with a woman who has a child (children) but until you're there and know of all that's involved, I'm sure it's hard to say exactly how you feel. Hopefully, if it comes down to it, the woman will be worth the more difficult circumstances. :D
 
Catlynn said:
*I* think that it's different with every. single. situation. The woman, children and baby daddy conditions differ from case to case. I think it depends on how it all flows together, for everyone involved. You can have a general idea of how you feel about the idea of being with a woman who has a child (children) but until you're there and know of all that's involved, I'm sure it's hard to say exactly how you feel. Hopefully, if it comes down to it, the woman will be worth the more difficult circumstances. :D
Click to expand...

Uhhh... whenever somebody says "baby daddy" I just crack up laughing.
Can't control it.
: )
 
Nuns_n_roses said:
Would you? :)

Sorry if this is another thread somewhere LoL
Click to expand...

Probably not. Too many complications. What if the kid doesn't accept it? How will your relationship be with that kid if you marry their mother? Will the kid be all rebellious toward you in their teens because you're not their "real dad"? Would the kid's mother allow you to discipline the kid or would she unwittingly use the kid to divide the two of you by spoiling the child? Too much gosh dang trouble. Don't want any part of it.

I think marrying a childless woman and then raising my own child would be much less awkward and problematic.
 
i would because of the love i have for the man i am dating, i would have to accept him with all he has. I relationships involving children is gonna be way more complicated though so you have to know what you are getting into.
 
I have no problem with dating a guy with children. Observing the sort of dad he is quickly tells me a lot about the sort of man he is...things like how easily he expresses affection, how protective he is, how he puts their needs above his own, what sort of listener he is, how much fun he can be, how patient he can be...

My son is grown now. At my age having more children is possible, but I would be very surprised if it happened at this point. :) I have no problems loving other people's children. I do it every Sunday at church. :) I had an amazing stepdad who had an incredible impact upon my life and character, so I know it can be done. In some small way maybe I could repay what he did for me by doing the same for other children. Pay the love forward if you will. :)
 
Sure. I mean, each relational factor has its challenges and makes for differences in experience, approach, etc...but it certainly isn't something that would repel me from dating a person.

A danger there, though, is growing to feel/care for the kids more than the person, and then feel a sense of 'duty' or 'obligation' to stay in the relationship even when there are a million problems and things are bad between you. I've seen this several times, and more often than not...it's bad news. Don't do it.
 
I was a single mother when I met my husband (had previously been married for many years). I knew that who ever I was going to be with needed to love my son as if he were his. This would be a make or break in the relationship. It was a package deal!

Relationships are hard and if you find yourself falling for someone with a child or children, just be aware of what you are getting yourself into. No relationship is easy. You have to remember too that you will have to deal with the other parent as well. That can be a nightmare.

Only time will tell, get to know the person, the kids and the dynamics in that ready made family. You may be a great fit, if it's Gods will.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back