Oh no Suze, no need to apologize -- you're understanding the points of this thread perfectly.
I understand that some people don't have the opportunity, or might not be comfortable with the idea of a mentor, and that's fine too. And when I say mentor, I don't specifically always mean people that personally took me under their wing. Some I admire and looked up to as a role model from a distance. I also agree with you regarding not putting anyone on a pedestal. I've been guilty of that several times and predictably, it did not end well.
I am genuinely sorry for the things you have suffered in your life.

You seem like such a sweet and caring person, and the things you share on the site are exactly what I look for. When you talk about how you're handling things with your mum, you are teaching people like me how to live out grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love.
I often think the Christian community sabotages itself by being overly spiritual. I go back to the financial example because it's one everyone understands. Christians will tell you God wants to bless you and have peace over your finances, but then can't or won't give anyone a plausible roadmap of how to do this. And if you talk about money woes too long, they'll say you're being materialistic and not relying on God, or accuse you of building up earthly riches rather than heavenly ones.
And I see this in every area of life. I was once in a chat where a young teen was excited about a missions trip he'd just come back from, and was telling us all about it. A woman in her 40's severely chastised the poor kid, telling him he shouldn't be talking about it at all because of "When you do a good deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." (Matthew 6:3)
I know what her intention was, but I am the opposite -- I want to hear about the work others are doing for the kingdom because it informs me of possibilities I might not know about and that God might be calling me to. This young man wasn't coming across as boasting at all -- he was just very passionate about what he had seen God do. I wanted to tell this teen that some of us wanted to hear his stories could all go to another chat room, but this woman had already shot him down so much that he left, and I never saw him back again.
When I speak of mentors, I think of people we look up to in order to show us how things are done. When I came to CC, I was miserable in my single life. And I knew a lot of other miserable singles as well. I didn't really know any other way. But here on CC, I met other singles who were, gasp, HAPPY and content living out their single lives, and I looked to them to teach me how to do the same. I just didn't know how to live that way until I met others who were already doing so, and willing to share their journey.
I think it's like that in most every area of life. Our spiritual beliefs are the backbone of the how to live, so I don't see a division between spiritual and practical. The spiritual guides us in how we are to live out the practical.
This is why I'm always interested in people's life stories. I've been preached at to death all my life -- I want to know how people actually live out what they're preaching.
People can give me all the passages about a certain challenge I'm puzzling over -- but unless they're also willing to give me practical examples to follow from their own lives or observations (so I know they have real experience,) it just doesn't have the full impact of Word + Actions ("Teach me how to do what you're doing.")