From man to women...

JesusLives · Oct 30, 2014

Practice being brave and step outside your comfort zone....All you have to do is approach the lady with a big smile and say Hi my name is......What's yours? Have a brief conversation with no expectations. At worst you just made a friend at best you might have met a girlfriend..... Practice makes perfect and with practice it gets easier to do the next time.

If I had not stepped out of my comfort zone I probably would not be getting married next month. All I gave away was my phone number....

cinder · Oct 30, 2014

Inu said:

But it is my most strongly held opinion that there are a lot of things not important enough to have an opinion about. When he doesn't have an opinion on the important things that's when you need to be concerned. Oh and sometimes its nicer if he can give you complete freedom in your area of interest because he has no opinion on it.

chri5tdrumm3r · Oct 30, 2014

JesusLives said:

That's great! Congratulations! However, when I hear people say "oh, it's OK. Just walk up and say 'hi'," my natural response is: easier said than done. Would I love to be able to just randomly walk up to people that I was interested in and start a conversation: absolutely! But, with an admitted low amount of self-esteem and the more-than-often subconcious choice of overthinking things to the point of making me nervous, doing something as simple as walking up to someone and saying hi becomes an almost insurmountable obstacle.

JesusLives · Oct 30, 2014

TKICBS;1746735 Love is pure said:

JesusLives
It took me 59 years to get 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love understanding....I got it now and for the ladies out there one of the best sermons I have heard lately was God's Great Men Weren't Always So Great.....examples

King David was an adulterer and a murderer.
Joseph was a slave and in prison before he was a leader in Egypt.
Sampson had women problems before getting right with God at the end of his life.
Elijah was scared of a woman and dealt with depression.
Noah got drunk.
Moses had anger issues.

So before we judge the men that come into our lives we need to look at them as looking through God's eyes at what they can become and not so much what they are in the moment.

Not saying we need to put blinders on just saying maybe we need to give them a chance to become God's Great Men.

JesusLives · Oct 30, 2014

chri5tdrumm3r said:

You are not alone on this shy thing....I actually did this as an experiment back in my 30's as I was having a hard time meeting people myself. Yes, it is hard to take that first step, but on a business trip no less I determined that I would meet 7 men and the rules were just to get their name and have a brief conversation with no expectations.

I did it and by guy number 7 he asked me out to dinner and we dated the rest of the time I was on that business trip and he even flew from New Orleans to Florida to visit me once. So I was really glad I stepped out of my comfort zone as it is a really nice memory to have. All I did was say hi my name is .......What's yours? It was easier the next time as I proved it to myself. I trust that you can be brave enough to do it too. Just takes practice......Good Luck...

secularhermit · Oct 30, 2014

Good!

From a man to ladies:

Whenever you´ve said you love your chosen one, please, be sure you have chosen him from YOUR heart and not from your convenience.

At certain age is not easy to change mates as we have changed shoes.

Times is passsing goodbye!

chri5tdrumm3r · Oct 30, 2014

JesusLives said:

I will ask this question in response: in this experiment... would you say that it's actually easier for a woman do to walk up to seven men and do this? Because, my thinking is you have a better likelihood of seven men actually engaging in a conversation with a random woman. (Oh, she wants to talk. She must be interested.) Whereas, if a man were do to so, seven women could give off seven completely different reactions, most of them of the "who does he think he is?"

I may be wrong, but I'm throwing the question out there.

Ugly · Oct 30, 2014

Inu said:

Well, shouldn't you have to communicate and explain yourself when you feel something has offended you? More to the point is why do women expect men to know things they aren't told? So, yes, you do have to explain that you are hurt/offended/whatever and might even have to explain why.
But, again, this is not a gender issue. I sometimes have to explain to female friends why things they have said or done bothered me. It's not really reasonable to expect others to just know what's bothering you. Maybe that person doesn't perceive their words or actions as bothersome if done to them, so they won't think it bothers anyone else.

Inu · Oct 30, 2014

Ugly said:

Good point made Ugly.... but when it's something obvious, a person shouldn't be told... and why apologise when you don't know what you did wrong? Why not ask what's wrong, rather than apologise? It's lack of communication, I say...

biscuit · Oct 30, 2014

dliz said:

Sometimes I have to threaten to mess up her hair in order to get her to come to her senses.

biscuit · Oct 30, 2014

dliz said:

Don't mess with his toupee !!!

Grace-Like-Rain · Oct 30, 2014

TKICBS said:

I really like this. Everyone has different baggage, a different personality, different "triggers". I love the art of getting to know someone. What makes them tick, what excites them, what their fears are, how they handle those fears, what their gifts are and how they utilize those. We can extend compassion to the woman who needs a little boost from her man about the dress she's wearing. We can extend honesty to the woman who really needs to know whether or not to put the dress back on the rack and get out of the store.

Ugly · Oct 30, 2014

Inu said:

I'm not directing this at you, as i don't really know you to do so. But one reason i think men might do that is because men want to get to the point. Women have a tendency to want to talk more about things. Which drives most men nuts. So they hope if they just apologize it will end there, and not risk having it turn into a 10 minute session on feelings, explanations, details, etc..
Two guys, one wrongs the other, it goes like this.
Steve- Dude, that really sucked how you did that to me.
Joe- My bad man, sorry.
Steve- It's cool.
now the situation is resolved.

Now here's more like how it tends to be with a woman.
Blue- I can't believe you did that!
Steve- Did what?
Blue- You know what i mean!
Steve- Oh... that.. yeah.. sorry.
Blue- What are you sorry for Exactly? What about it do you realize was wrong and why?
Steve- *mind races as he tries to figure out how to get out of this
Blue- *arms folded, angry look on her face... Well???
Steve- I uhh...
Blue- Fine, i guess i'll have to tell you what you did wrong. *Blue now launches into a lengthy explanation going over every detail from before the offense occurred, what lead up to it, what happened after. frequently sidetracked onto other subjects.
Steve-*after this lengthy, highly detailed, mostly confusing and all over the place inspection of what occurred a few weeks ago Steve is more lost than he was before. So he tries to pick out the parts where you seemed most hostile, and apologizes for that. whew.. he got lucky and picked the right one.
Blue-See, that wasn't so hard. I don't see how you could've missed that. I really wish you were more in tune with what i was thinking and feeling. It really bothers me when i when you are too lazy, or don't seem to care enough to even figure out why i'm hurt. I mean is it really that.........................................zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*one month later Blue brings it up again out of thin air to rehash it

Ok, so there was some exaggeration there, but the point is still made. This is why men will sometimes apologize and not know why.

And, before the lynching starts, let me be clear this is not a criticism against women. Men and women communicate differently. I used this example just to make a point. Men start at A and try to get to Z in the shortest path possible. Women go A.. D.. F.. W.. C....... bouncing around and making sure they hit every detail along the way, and that's how they're wired, so it's fine. So please no one take this as an attack.
And yes, it's not all women, just like not all men are like that. But it is definitely more common for each gender to fit into those roles.

biscuit · Oct 30, 2014

arwen-undomiel said:

We have to remember that the medical profession is a business ... to make money. The pharma industry is very closely related to the medical industry and there are billions of dollars worth of lawsuits & malpractice against them.

It is amazing you can watch a very pleasing, soothing commercial regarding a certain drug, and turn to another station to find that there is a billion dollar lawsuit against the pharma company that makes the same drug!!!! Please remember, these hospitals don't make money off of routine checkups or blood tests. They make money from surgeries and pharma sales.

I was overmedicated and I told the doctor but he disagreed. Later I had kidney stones from the overmedication and paid out 3500 dollars for his mistake. I am very healthy at 61 and I allow God to make my decision for me.

Many doctors, hospitals are decent but most of them are scamming the public. Only the Lord knows how many surgeries/operations were performed needlessly out of the power of the mighty dollar. There have been several times I thought of going to the doctor for possible surgery but the Lord told me that it wasn't needed and I would be okay. And He has never lied to me. How do I know if I need to get to the doctor quickly? The Lord won't answer me which means to go and see a doctor.

arwen-undomiel · Oct 30, 2014

biscuit said:

We have to remember that the medical profession is a business ... to make money. The pharma industry is very closely related to the medical industry and there are billions of dollars worth of lawsuits & malpractice against them.

It is amazing you can watch a very pleasing, soothing commercial regarding a certain drug, and turn to another station to find that there is a billion dollar lawsuit against the pharma company that makes the same drug!!!! Please remember, these hospitals don't make money off of routine checkups or blood tests. They make money from surgeries and pharma sales.

I was overmedicated and I told the doctor but he disagreed. Later I had kidney stones from the overmedication and paid out 3500 dollars for his mistake. I am very healthy at 61 and I allow God to make my decision for me.

Many doctors, hospitals are decent but most of them are scamming the public. Only the Lord knows how many surgeries/operations were performed needlessly out of the power of the mighty dollar. There have been several times I thought of going to the doctor for possible surgery but the Lord told me that it wasn't needed and I would be okay. And He has never lied to me. How do I know if I need to get to the doctor quickly? The Lord won't answer me which means to go and see a doctor.

Well that can't be a reason/excuse for men who live in countries with different health care systems though

arwen-undomiel · Oct 30, 2014

I'll just leave this up here, thought this was a bit humorous XD. But I do agree, Ugly, that men aren't the only ones, it just appears to be more common among men tho. And Charcoal XD, I was planning on going to Physio tonight, but it seems to be better now

AsifinPassing · Oct 30, 2014

Inu said:

...because quite frankly, my dear, we really don't care.

AsifinPassing · Oct 30, 2014

Inu said:

See my above post^...

I also like to add this...when arguing about issues of the day.

Me: "Okay. Are you actually going to DO something that will change this?"

Other: "Well, I mean..." or "No." or "..."

Me: "Than persuasion on that point is stupid; this conversation is pointless; and the argumentvie over. Thanks for playing!"

AsifinPassing · Oct 30, 2014

* then and * argument is and * I'm sorry to double (and now triple...) post and *autocorrect has always been both wrong and occasionally a jerk

Shouryu · Oct 30, 2014

MULTI-REPLY!!!

arwen-undomiel said:

Back in high school. When I was in college, I would just turn kind of dopey-happy instead. Since college...well, I haven't really crushed on anyone since college. (No, not even Tallchick.)

arwen-undomiel said:

Is this necessarily a man thing? For me, it's a band director thing. Band directors of either gender are this way, because we know that everyday that we don't rehearse our students is a day they get worse. If I can, I will teach; I hate days like today where I'm forced to miss teaching for a training that will have little impact on my program. I have almost 90 personal days saved up. That means, in theory, I could call in a sub for an ENTIRE SEMESTER OF SCHOOL. I shudder at the thought of what that band would sound like.

I don't avoid physicals, I've scheduled them before. I just wait until vacation to do it.

Inu said:

Because there are seriously a million details that we REALLY, HONESTLY, TRULY, SERIOUSLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT. We really don't; I don't care WHAT we eat, I just care that we eat! But we know that YOU care, because as soon as we assume you don't care, we end up with THIS conversation:

"I really don't care. Where do YOU want to eat?"
"I don't care either. You pick."
"Okay, Chinese take-out it is."
"Ugh, NOT Chinese take-out, please."

YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN'T CARE. >_<

Men, on the other hand...when we say we don't care, we really mean it. You know what we DO care about? WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. That's why we ask. That's why we want YOU to pick, when it comes to these things. Because we genuinely do NOT care, and we know that you are lying lying pants-are-frying when you say you don't care either.

(My old roommate said he wanted to open a restaurant called I Don't Care. I told him we should make it a chain with another one across town called Whatever. No more fights about where to eat.)

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