If you judge someone's lifestyle don't be suprised he will judge your lifestyle too; it works both ways. Now I guess being a christian, with everything that goes with it, is a very important part of your personality. So if one of the truths you hold dear is being criticized you might get hurt or offended as a person too.
Same goes for gays: if you're gay you can't just decide to STOP being gay, because being gay is too much a part of your personality. So even if you decide to ONLY judge the ACTIONS of someone who's gay, maybe with the best of intentions, that someone might still get hurt or offended as a PERSON. He never chose to be gay, since he was born that way. Being christian, on the other hand, is still a choice. Doesn't that all depend on one's free will to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour?
I believe as the word of God teaches us, when Jesus walked this earth, He spoke that any who lives as He lives, teaching the truth, in spirit and truth, beware that we will be criticized, and in Jesus case, worse. I have been mocked, called a liar, taunted and many things I'm not typing here. It doesnt hurt me to be called these names, for I know who my Lord and Savior is, I let Him take care of my problems and life is wonderful, because of what He has did in my life. I use any and all attacks at me for being a servant of the King as a time to grow closer with forgiveness for who spoke a bad word, or threatened me, for I know who I am, and Whose I am! I'm not scared when people mock or call me names, I pity them.
I have many friends who have chosen to live the gay lifestyle, I do not despise or hate them for the lifestyle they have chosen it's truly between them and God. You have it wrong as many do with the 'born that way' theory. As far as one's free will goes, it has nothing to do with accepting Jesus Christ as our Savior. Free will is about making choices, good or bad. As I have heard many people say, "Why did God let 9/11 happen?" God didnt and He nor satan were flying those planes, but men who took their free will, knowing they were going to die also. I see you're trying to defend gays as if we who use the term Christian, I'm a believer myself, as though we attack them. No dear, I cant speak for others, but Romans 1: 25-28 is really clear on the subject of using the body in an unnatural way. My friend's know I love them, respect them, and they in turn respect my thoughts and the bible's words on the subject. Not one of them has said, 'I was born this way'. They have said, about what ages they were when they felt they were being interested in the same sex, I appreciated their honesty about it. I still love everyone of them, as I love all my friends. If any of them were doing something that could kill them, I would warn them, Ezekial 3:18-21 and chap. 33. to help them realize and change.
You are right, being a Christian is a choice, its when Jesus presents Himself to us in such a powerful way, we cant deny Him any longer and we desire to accept the gift He gave His life for to be our Lord and Saviour. Many people use their free will and dont accept Jesus. That is very sad, still we can pray that some day soon, they will desire a relationship, with God. I pray you, will be blessed in your life, that soon Jesus will show Himself to you in some powerful way, you'll stop running, fall on your knees, and take sweet rest in Jesus! God bless you!