Awesome testimony brother. Dead on. He gets ALL glory.
My testimony contradicts the whole "we make the choice" narrative, as in God cannot save us if we don't want to let Him God that is restricted by mans will, nonsense. I did make the "choice", I went right up front when called, repeated the prayer, heck was even baptized a little later for good measure and was declared saved, when I wasn't. I kept hearing "we will always be sinners", "look at Paul, he says he does the things he shouldn't, and doesn't do the things he should", all these things that work to deceive the false convert. Never preached anything about a change, nothing about an actual spiritual resurrection in us, nothing about being made whole, nope, always a justification to stay in sin without guilt. Please before anyone gets mad at me yet, I'm not saying these things aren't true, of course. This is Gods word and to the reborn able to see these spiritual truths clearly they are all sound of course. But to the unbeliever, specifically the false convert in this case, these things preached unbalanced can result in false converts that think they are saved.
In my case this was really highlighted after a motorcycle wreak that happen while thinking I was saved. Losing the use of my dominate arm forever sent me on a downward spiral I had no control over. All I wanted was to die for two years, but even though I had an easy way out due to the fact I have no feeling in my right arm at all, I was stuck here because I had two sons and I knew that no body that took my place here, if anyone even did, would love them like I did. Their father. So I was stuck. Like I said for two years I fought this every day, wanting to die, wanting to die, no hope, no way out, couldn't control my thoughts about it at all, until I had enough.
One day at home all alone I finally see "my way" for the futile demonstration it was. I saw my whole life for the meaningless hopeless garbage it truly was and I broke. I hit my knees blubbering, I was giving up. If I had ever believed in God, I didn't then, I did not call God, I did not call Jesus, I did not call for anyone or anything, I cried out "I can't do this anymore I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore! World you win, I lose,I QUIT!!!!
See I made no decision at all for God in this moment. So when I did "make my decision", when I chose God in my head I was not saved. From what I read on here there are many that would argue at that point I was saved, even when I say I wasn't. I can assure you I wasn't, God had His hand on me then, and learning that was for a purpose, but I was NOT saved at all. After the second episode when I did not make any decision other than "I QUIT THE WORLD", I woke up the next day a whole new man, and God is the one that told me this time. It wasn't until lunch at work the next day that it hit me, and hit me hard. After two years of suicidal thoughts every 5 minutes of every day at lunchtime Sept. 29th 2013, at 33 years of age, I realized "I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!". It was right in this moment I knew that whatever happen, it was God, and I knew Jesus was His Son.
I could go on and on, but with this much my point is made. When I thought I made the decision I was not saved, and when I had no idea that God was GRANTING me repentance, I woke up new the next day, and He is the one that declared me saved. Holla-Boo-Ya!!! Praise our mighty King. He saves us, our choice doesn't "allow" Him to do His will.