Disrespectful Women

[JesusIsAll]

Have you yet married the woman who is the complete opposite of what you wanted? I remember my list for what I wanted in a husband, (right down to a guy who can get into chick flicks. lol) I didn't get that guy. I got the exact opposite guy. I got the right guy.

I'd prefer not to indulge some comments, but there is so easily missed, huge wisdom in what you're saying, huge.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

Ok so let me get this straight the man has the authority over his wife so she has to do what he says? That doesn't sound right that sounds more like ownership than love. I believe the man is responsible for taking care of his wife

I totally agree. And maybe it has to do with the internal reasons the wife does or doesn't do what the husband. I believe in letting the man be the man in the relationship, but there are plenty of women who would do what their husbands said, and would be seething inwardly. That isn't respect at it's core. Respect could be, "Ok I disagree with this decision but you are my husband and the head of the household, so I'll bite my tongue and do what is asked because you feel very strongly about this." And there is definitely room for discussion for big decisions. I guess being a help mate is the main thing, right?

 

[Olerica]

I'll put this here, it was my response in another thread (and some of it has been redacted because of relevancy to that topic over this).

Portions between * were either added (first quote for clarification) or redacted (second quote)

What is your definition of submission? You realize that a wife submitting to her husband is a reflection of his treating her as Christ does the church (Laying down his life for her *Which means dying to self over literal death*).

From the perspective of a woman who was married and had that kind of relationship with her husband, I'll tell you, it's exceptionally easy to submit to a man who so clearly has your best interest at heart, who wants to see you flourish as an individual, who champions your goals, who's eyes light up when you walk into the room. I'd probably have done anything for that man.

Don't get me wrong, he was well loved too, and he would tell you that if he were able to, but he'd be REALLY irritated at the focus on submission as though it was a grinding your wife under your heel. I'm pretty sure Jesus would too. If you are having issues in a marriage with regards to submission? Try loving your wife.

Try the love that lays down it's life, making sure she knows AND feels the great affection and care you have for her. Laying down your life might mean laying down the pride that says, "I AM OWED RESPECT". Let your love make you soft, be slow to anger, quick to forgive, gracious, merciful, kind. Cherish her. It easy for a woman to submit to that man when he is being that man.

(And before anyone get all up in arms over this 'who goes first' business, may I gently point out that as a man you are the head of the household and a true leader leads by example. A true leader teaches and guides at the pace of those following.)

Huh. So, you preferred your opinion to loving your wife... or that's how it reads to me.

Does God pull you kicking and scared behind him so that you will do his will? Or does God approach you and comfort your fears and tell you that you will be alright? When you are fearful in taking the next step of submission to him, does he push you through that door, or out that window, or does he prove to you (again) how faithful he is, so that what lies beyond is not more than what you can trust him with?

A helpmate, a friend, a confidant, a prayer partner with whom you prayerfully consider God's direction in your lives is what you signed up for with a wife. Is that how you treated her? "Fighting over stuff that didn't matter"? Well, it sounds like it mattered to her. Did you hear her? Were you her champion in life? Was she able to trust that your ultimate decision was the direction that God was leading your family?

It sounds here (and forgive me, these two posts are all I know about you), like your view of advancing the kingdom were your sole focus. And as a married man? That's not the case. This is the reason that Paul encourages those who can abstain from marriage to do so, your primary ministry as a married man is to your wife and children. (Now as a single father, your primary ministry is to your children.) God will make a way for his will to be done, even for a man in ministry (or a woman in ministry), and he does soften hearts - including the heart of a wife who is afraid to trust God. But the way to do that isn't through force, it's coming together in prayer and asking God to give her confirmation that where you are being lead is where he wants you to go. God is faithful and does not want to see families broken. If you both are submitting to God, that way will be clear.

*redacted portion* I know that neither of you are perfect. I don't know if either of you struggle with health issues or mental health issues. I don't know if you entered the marriage from a place of seeking God's glory or to satisfy each other.

If I may be so bold, prayerfully consider if you need to seek your ex-wife's forgiveness over how you lead your marriage, or the type of husband you were with her. I'm not saying that the marriage can be (or should be) reconciled, but again... as the male leader of the relationship, that's a huge point of leadership: Knowing that when you are wrong, seeking forgiveness for your wrongdoing. You might be surprised how true humility leads to submission.

 

[Jeff_56]

they go throughout this site and others spreading not just the heresy, but very unbiblical ideas opposed to scripture as a part of and just like the heresy to support and defend their foundationless life (non-existant life)... that's all they have...

You would think that, of what is simply a lighthearted comment, more intended for somebody who may not take themselves so seriously as to be oblivious. Why don't you go back to the Catholic thread and denigrate the Holy Bible some more?

 

[Jeff_56]

i like your testimony in other threads, and it looked in other threads like you searched the scripture to see what is true.

that is what is best to do, most people posting don't bother.

yes, you will be surprised what GOD says in HIS WORD, because 95% of the people around you, more or less, don't even know, and naturally they disagree with GOD. that is normal. not good. but normal.

Ok so let me get this straight the man has the authority over his wife so she has to do what he says? That doesn't sound right that sounds more like ownership than love. I believe the man is responsible for taking care of his wife

 

[jsr1221]

i like your testimony in other threads, and it looked in other threads like you searched the scripture to see what is true.

that is what is best to do, most people posting don't bother.

yes, you will be surprised what GOD says in HIS WORD, because 95% of the people around you, more or less, don't even know, and naturally they disagree with GOD. that is normal. not good. but normal.

That is a slippery slope, though. By that stance, a husband can tell his wife to do humiliating things. Or, as Blain mentioned with ownership, treat her more like a slave than a wife. Is that according to the Bible? No. Not at all.

 

[Joshua_Generation]

THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND OR BE FOUGHT OVER IT JUST GETS UNDER MY SKIN WHEN I SEE WOMEN WHO ACT DISRESPECTFUL TO THEIR HUSBAND.

Wives need primarily need love, husbands primarily need respect. God’s design for marriage is laid out in Ephesians 5, and His purpose goes WAY beyond the scope of the health of our individual marriages if we follow His design, we will have much healthier marriages. God’s highest purpose in marriage is to showcase the intimate relationship between Christ and His people. We are acting out a living parable where husbands represent Christ and wives represent the church to bring glory to God and to help our children and others around us grasp what God is like in a more concrete way.


Ephesians 5:22-33 = God’s design for marriage


When a man feels disrespected, he feels unloved!


Every man has his own list of what feels disrespectful and respectful to him. Some things are almost universally one way or the other to almost all men. Some things are particular to your husband. What matters most is what is respectful and disrespectful to YOUR man. That’s why it is important to ask him about his preferences and what bothers him and what speaks respect to him. You’ll need to custom-tailor your respect to your husband! Ultimately, we are really seeking to please Christ, not our husbands. He is our final Judge and Audience.


Women – you really have so much power to destroy your husbands or to build them up. I pray God will convict you and open your eyes and that you might learn to be respectful, cooperative wives who value your husbands’ leadership and who honor Christ with every thought, attitude, word and action.

Respect is earned.
Honor is given.
nuff said

 

[Angela53510]

I've said this over and over! The only authority over a believer is Christ.

"And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me." Matt 28:18

The word "submit" implies to "voluntarily come under". There is no where in Scripture it says wives are to obey their husbands. Rather, they are to obey God and come under their husband. Obedience is reserved for the only one who can handle that kind of absolute authority - Jesus Christ.

I have just heard of too much abuse of women in the traditional Christian home, which is a cultural type of Christianity, not a relationship with the living Saviour, Jesus Christ.

I do agree the OP needs to talk about ways for men to love their wives, instead of casting stones at women. A woman may be disrespecting her husband, because he is cruel at home. Or she might just not be a very nice person! We do not have all the information to make that call!

 

[Joshua_Generation]

The most submissive thing a man can put on for his wife is Jesus Christ.

When a husband truly submits to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and takes the role as spiritual leader in the home, his wife will submit to him easily and as God designed it and will want to submit to him.


The major issue we have today is that we have very few men who can be called men of the cross.

 

[Jeff_56]

......
When a husband truly submits to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and takes the role as spiritual leader in the home, his wife will submit to him easily and as God designed it and will want to submit to him.....

there's no where in scripture that i remember that says a wife will do as God designed if her husband does what God says to do.
she might want to submit to him. she might not want to. look how many did not submit to jesus. look how many nuns do not and will not ever submit to jesus -- and jesus is perfect and does exactly what yahweh says to do perfectly.

 

[JesusIsAll]

they go throughout this site and others spreading not just the heresy, but very unbiblical ideas opposed to scripture as a part of and just like the heresy to support and defend their foundationless life (non-existant life)... that's all they have...

You mean it was a waste to memorize so many posts?

 

[Joshua_Generation]

there's no where in scripture that i remember that says a wife will do as God designed if her husband does what God says to do.
she might want to submit to him. she might not want to. look how many did not submit to jesus. look how many nuns do not and will not ever submit to jesus -- and jesus is perfect and does exactly what yahweh says to do perfectly.

Maybe you ought to take a look at how it worked before the fall in the garden. It worked perfectly.

 

[Jeff_56]

You mean it was a waste to memorize so many posts?

yes, the posts, but not all possibly -
not necessarily. like the ekklesia in torture, oppressed, homeless and driven into seclusion,

like the believers listening to nazi broadcasts that were broadcast to deride and make fun of the Bible and the Bible believers,

they memorize the Scriptures when they were quoted, without letting the other commentary even enter their ears....

so do that --- memorize, dwell on, listen to, rejoice in , meditate on ('mumbling') and speak quietly often the Scripture as you hear or see it or as God puts it in your heart of line of sight...

and ignore (without even being affected) the darts and arrows and lies of the enemy of JESUS that cause so much h.

 

[Jeff_56]

Maybe you ought to take a look at how it worked before the fall in the garden. It worked perfectly.

who said i didn't.

yahshua told his disciples man doesn't live by bread alone, but by EVERY WORD that proceeds from the mouth of YAHWEH. as in don't disregard any Scripture to try to get your own way, ever.

and only joshua and caleb entered the promised land, out of their generation, the rest died in the wilderness for their unbelief.

 

[Jeff_56]

and what happened to cause the fall? the wife disobeyed, wittingly or not.

 

[MarcR]

The Biblical principle of male leadership is NOT about dominion; nor is it about ability.

I have met several couples of whom the wife is clearer thinking and more pragmatic than the husband.

The Biblical principle of male leadership is about accountability.

People make mistakes; and when mistakes are made in setting the family's direction; God wants the man to step up and take the heat.

 

[JFSurvivor]

I follow and believe what God places in my heart and this is what he has placed in my heart i understand it isn't how some ppl think or believe but I know what is right and I know how to treat women. Honestly I am rarely ever angry from ppl posting but the one thing that does the most damage to make me angry is posts like this where ppl believe that men are somehow better than women when God sees us both as his precious children he doesn't see one above the other he loves each the same

*stands and applauds* THANK YOU! *gives you a giant hug*

 

[JFSurvivor]

and yet again, all those who quite "views submit to your husbands" fail to add this very simple line

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

You get a hug too *hug*

 

[DesiredHaven]

The LORD's words to husbands here

Mal 2:13 And this have ye done again,

covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out,
insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more,
or receiveth it with good will at your hand.

Mal 2:14 Yet ye (the husbands) say, Wherefore?

Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth,
against whom thou hast dealt treacherously:

yet is she thy companion,
and the wife of thy covenant.

Peter appears to indicate along the same lines among them,

1Peter 3:7 Likewise,ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Would seem to confirm in accord with Malichi showing he regardeth not the same similarly in respects to the treatment (or honour) given his own wife. The LORD having said that he is a witness between them on this.

The Lord's headship can be often diminished sometimes, it does seem like an accountability thing, as the husband is head of her (his own wife) and one greater then himself is the head of him (to whom) he is answerable.

And given his own prayers either go through (or heaven seems shut up) the same being hindered can have something to do with how he (the husband) treats her (his own wife).

Which offers a good reason for a little carefulness on his part (seeing his prayers could be affected) by his own head.

 

[proverbs35]

and what happened to cause the fall? the wife disobeyed, wittingly or not.

Adam AND Eve disobeyed. The husband AND the wife disobeyed God in the garden.

Sin entered the world through Adam - not Eve. Romans 5:12-14