If I correctly understand your point, Rufus, I would respectfully disagree and suggest it is reconciled only by becoming born-again. God places His laws (the law of life through Christ) into the heart and minds (NC) of those He saves, making their will (although not always perfectly executed) a reflection of His will in all things pertaining to salvation. Consequently, when someone truly and positively responds to the gospel,
I agree! But at the same time, we are free moral agents (not to be confused or conflated with "freewill" nonsense). God doesn't do the repenting and believing for us. WE do that! Granted, we do that by his grace -- by his enabling power. But even so we do that -- and we do it WILLINGLY! I don't know of any Christian who believes God "forced" or "coerced" or "conned" him into the Kingdom. We were all made
willing in the day of his power (Ps 110:3). None us entered the kingdom against our will!
When the time for the new birth arrived at God's sovereign discretion, we were made willing. We are not machines, or robots or AI devices, etc. None of these things have feelings, emotions, consciences or a conscious existence. Machines do not possess human faculties which is what makes us God's image-bearers. And all our faculties together play critical roles in the choices we make! The will does not say to the conscience, "I don''t need you". Or the will say to our affections, "Don't intrude on my turf", etc.
This is the difference between me and hyper-Calvinists who seem to believe that the will of God's elect image-bearers played no part in their salvation. I, see God as the indispensable Primary Cause (Mover) in man's salvation, and man himself as the willing respondent by God's grace. God actually "changes our mind" about who we thought he was, who we thought we were, what we thought we needed to do to please Him, what we thought our eternal destination was, etc., etc. -- all of this and more by his irresistible grace! And once a true change has taken place within one's soul, that person will respond accordingly.
As far as the flip side of the coin goes, the very same principle applies to all who were appointed in eternity to remain as a lump of clay suitable only for ignoble use. The damned who were never destined for eternal life have actually chosen their own eternal fate! God's will for them and their own personal spiritual choices throughout their life are also 100% in sync! No one is ever condemned to hell who truly desired to be in heaven with their one and only True Creator!
IOW, no one is ever sent to hell against their will! (And this fact alone demolishes another favorite FW straw man objection of Determinism.) All the condemned freely choose to rebel against God, break his laws, love the world and everything in it, etc., etc. Most importantly, everyone sees and recognizes that the world is badly broken --
except for themselves! People naturally refuse to see themselves as being every bit as much of the problem as their fellow man is who they are so quick to criticize and condemn. But when they condemn others, they unwittingly condemn themselves, as they do not and indeed cannot see themselves as being in the same lump of clay they so often condemn! Inordinate SELF love prohibits them! Therefore, God is not unjust by not graciously opening the eyes to their hearts and souls to see the gospel truth,
since He owes his grace to no one. He's not unjust to leave them in their reprobate condition -- a condition of
darkness which they
love, by the way, because their deeds are evil!
I hope I've made my position clearer.