D
Well then, God is sadistic. For someone who never meant for His children to get murdered, suffer illness or whatever, He sure does a good job of allowing it to happen. :/
Stephen glorified in his own murder, because he trusted even that was meant for his good.
If you ever wondered what I have against you, this is it. You think God is a sadist, and yet will not call out to him to change that in you.
Truth is I've thought the same thing. But then asked God to help me understand why in the world he killed so many of his chosen people even before getting them to the Promised Land. It took years, but he finally got me to understand it. And, in understanding that, understanding so much other, including how in the world something as stupid as taking me off an operating table turned me into "disabled for life."
You really do think God is a sadist. You're just too afraid to tell him that. What's he going to do to you that is going to make things even worse for asking? Do you think he's going to cut you off merely because you asked? He already knows that's exactly what you're thinking, and no lightning bolt hitting you. Honest! Go to him! Ask the hard questions.
He answers! It requires quite some time in his book, but he does answer!
Stop being so scared of him! He's not Amway! You don't have to rally yourself to join in on the pep rally for him, just because others seem to be in the flow. Be mad! Be hurt! Be furious! But tell him! And ask him to reach you and help you handle why. Not just why with your back. Not just why with the epilepsy. You really have had a sucko life. And, look at my life, yet I can still tell you that. Your life has truly sucked! Why would God do that to you? Ask him!
Honest, honest, honest! Ask him with full sincerity PLUS that full blown wrath you have, because that wrath ain't taking him by surprise. And watch what happens. No lightning bolts. No cold shoulder. No handling you horribly like so many others have. He answers. And with all the love and kindness we'd want and more from our own dads.
And he does it something like a parent when a child is scared of the boogeyman in her room. He'll take you by the hand, and show you, spot by spot where the boogeyman was, (because you are one of the few who met the boogeyman in real life), to prove to you he's not there. And each time he shows you who isn't there, he IS there. It take a while to go about the room with him. But by the time he's got you in his lap, you notice the other thing in his belt -- the sword. The sword that is NOT for you. It is for whoever will try and take you away from him.
Not like this physically, but if you let God know how angry you are and ask him to fix it. He does.
I know. Had to have that very thing happen a few times in my life. He is not sadistic. You have had sadists in your life, so you can't tell the difference. Let HIM show you he is NOT! Let HIM show you who he is.