ArtsieSteph's dad's cancer superthread
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Do y'all have a yard or some calming place that's pretty nearby? And is it not raining?
If so, how about you and him go outside just to sit and relax? It requires very little energy, and something about leaving the rooms where all the anxiety happens in sets the brain to stop looping.
Also, outside is where birds and squirrels and slugs and pill bugs have no idea how entertaining they can be for humans who have big fearful thoughts. And clouds rolling by have no idea that I can see a ship or a frog or a wave in them, but it is still a fun thing to do that doesn't require energy.
15 minutes in our garden has taken so many nagging thoughts out of my mind for several hours. Better than aspirin.
If so, how about you and him go outside just to sit and relax? It requires very little energy, and something about leaving the rooms where all the anxiety happens in sets the brain to stop looping.
Also, outside is where birds and squirrels and slugs and pill bugs have no idea how entertaining they can be for humans who have big fearful thoughts. And clouds rolling by have no idea that I can see a ship or a frog or a wave in them, but it is still a fun thing to do that doesn't require energy.
15 minutes in our garden has taken so many nagging thoughts out of my mind for several hours. Better than aspirin.
Out of desperation my dad took antidepressants, which my psychiatrist prescribed, without consulting the oncologist. I am now terrified. I don’t know what side effects he’ll have, if he gets off it he has to seriously get off little by little and I feel like he’s put himself in a really difficult position in future.
I’m scared.
I’m scared.
Well with antidepressants I heard going cold turkey can be catestrophic and he is in such a vulnerable emotional place right now I fear the worst. He’s calm which he said he appreciates, and may even stay home to catch up on rest I don’t know.
I’m panicing myself right now trying to deal with the fact this happened and I think I’ve turned it into some kind of breach of trust of me being a caregiver. Thankfully I took my meds now so I’m calming down too but I just am so scared for him you know? And I want to tell him what he wants to hear, which is “you made the right decision” but I can’t say that fully.
I’m panicing myself right now trying to deal with the fact this happened and I think I’ve turned it into some kind of breach of trust of me being a caregiver. Thankfully I took my meds now so I’m calming down too but I just am so scared for him you know? And I want to tell him what he wants to hear, which is “you made the right decision” but I can’t say that fully.
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Psychiatrist! Also a trained medical doctor. As long as psychiatrist was told about the cancer and what you're dad is taking now, there is nothing to fear. They keep up on all that stuff. (And bless their hearts for doing so, because I can't think of anything more boring than to read up on drugs and the latest in medicine. lol)
Side note: Hubby was given anti-depressants because of neuropathy in his fingers. When I talked about numb fingers, that's the word I meant. I just figured who knows that word unless they need to know it?
And, no, really? He's not going to get addicted from the anti-depressant. I bet it's small amounts. If it works, then YAY! But if it doesn't work within the next 2-3 weeks, he simply tells the doctor and tries something else. No need to wean off in such a short amount of time.
And, if it does work, then let it work for as long as he needs it. Because, seriously, quitting is no big thing physically. (Mentally, we get a little fearful because we think the drug is the thing stopping us from negative emotions, but once we're to the point of not having those worrisome negative emotions, getting off it changes nothing.) After using anti-depressants for 2-3 years, the only weaning I had to do was a week of taking it every other day, instead of once a day. Truthfully? Since I saw no difference, I just stopped taking it on Day 4, and that was that. NO side effects.
Back in the olden days (1971-1972), when my Mom had cancer, the medical community was all about letting the patient suffer for fear pain pills would cause addictions. Guess what! 97% of the time they don't! Dependency isn't addiction, it's dependency. Addiction is when the mind sets in and the high is the only thing on the mind. BUT, they wouldn't give Mom anything until they were certain she was dying.
I'm thrilled the medical community has rethought their position. Give the patient what's needed to help go through the hard part. And THEN worry about withdraw when the cancer is gone. You're father is getting 40+ years more experience in fighting cancer than Mom had. They now know anti-depressants help, because the mind is being dosed with the cancer fighting agents too, and needs a break. Anti-depressants is that break! Let him use his energies to fight the cancer, not fight his mind too.
Often anti-depressants help neuropathy too. Just make sure your dad tells the oncologist about that, because the earlier that's dealt with the better chance he has of it going away afterward.
And truthfully, John got neuropathy while on chemo. What the doctors didn't tell him hurt him. What they didn't catch was he also had diabetes. (The symptoms were there, but they were too busy fighting the one thing to notice the other.) So, have your dad talked to his doctor about that.
All in all, John figures he rather have neuropathy than the other choice. (Death.) I would have chosen neither, but never got that choice. lol
Side note: Hubby was given anti-depressants because of neuropathy in his fingers. When I talked about numb fingers, that's the word I meant. I just figured who knows that word unless they need to know it?
And, no, really? He's not going to get addicted from the anti-depressant. I bet it's small amounts. If it works, then YAY! But if it doesn't work within the next 2-3 weeks, he simply tells the doctor and tries something else. No need to wean off in such a short amount of time.
And, if it does work, then let it work for as long as he needs it. Because, seriously, quitting is no big thing physically. (Mentally, we get a little fearful because we think the drug is the thing stopping us from negative emotions, but once we're to the point of not having those worrisome negative emotions, getting off it changes nothing.) After using anti-depressants for 2-3 years, the only weaning I had to do was a week of taking it every other day, instead of once a day. Truthfully? Since I saw no difference, I just stopped taking it on Day 4, and that was that. NO side effects.
Back in the olden days (1971-1972), when my Mom had cancer, the medical community was all about letting the patient suffer for fear pain pills would cause addictions. Guess what! 97% of the time they don't! Dependency isn't addiction, it's dependency. Addiction is when the mind sets in and the high is the only thing on the mind. BUT, they wouldn't give Mom anything until they were certain she was dying.
I'm thrilled the medical community has rethought their position. Give the patient what's needed to help go through the hard part. And THEN worry about withdraw when the cancer is gone. You're father is getting 40+ years more experience in fighting cancer than Mom had. They now know anti-depressants help, because the mind is being dosed with the cancer fighting agents too, and needs a break. Anti-depressants is that break! Let him use his energies to fight the cancer, not fight his mind too.
Often anti-depressants help neuropathy too. Just make sure your dad tells the oncologist about that, because the earlier that's dealt with the better chance he has of it going away afterward.
And truthfully, John got neuropathy while on chemo. What the doctors didn't tell him hurt him. What they didn't catch was he also had diabetes. (The symptoms were there, but they were too busy fighting the one thing to notice the other.) So, have your dad talked to his doctor about that.
All in all, John figures he rather have neuropathy than the other choice. (Death.) I would have chosen neither, but never got that choice. lol
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John made a few decisions I totally disagreed with. My support was realizing he's a grownup so can make his own decisions. My comfort was he finally could make his own decisions. (I really hated being the decision maker for him. I was always afraid I was making decisions he would later on disagree with. And, after all that, he told me he was thankful for all the decisions I made. Go figure on what strange things we set to worrying about, huh? 
)
)
Just curious, have you looked into possibly Proton therapy, it is a new type of treatment for cancer, not all types it can target, but I know Medicaid and Medicare does cover Proton therapy along with most insurance companies,
my father had very late stage of cancer and passed away just last valintines day and my brother some 15 years ago, I've been around about 2 dozen people through my life, I've seen a lot of the harsh side effects of cemo it can be quite heart wrenching to see these side effects and I'm sorry your father has cancer and I'll pray for him indeed.
science is making good progress in treating cancer, today scienctist are studying the blind mole and I hope one day the scientist can find out why the blind mole is resistant to cancer, the animal is one of a just few animals on earth with natural anti cancer fighting properties. Hopefully one day this terrible disease can be eradicated.
my father had very late stage of cancer and passed away just last valintines day and my brother some 15 years ago, I've been around about 2 dozen people through my life, I've seen a lot of the harsh side effects of cemo it can be quite heart wrenching to see these side effects and I'm sorry your father has cancer and I'll pray for him indeed.
science is making good progress in treating cancer, today scienctist are studying the blind mole and I hope one day the scientist can find out why the blind mole is resistant to cancer, the animal is one of a just few animals on earth with natural anti cancer fighting properties. Hopefully one day this terrible disease can be eradicated.
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So far daddy seemed ok. He was calm, was taking his lorazepam as well, and seemed to be ok. I think that’s the hard part, he would make such big statements of “I’m ok now” then the next day have the same problem. Thing is though I think he’s realizing, maybe we’re both realizing, that God is good and these fears are both fear and chemicals.
I know right now I am so emotionally tired all I can do is trust God and try to recouperate. Blain is coming to visit too so that makes me feel better as well it’s just... so much
I know right now I am so emotionally tired all I can do is trust God and try to recouperate. Blain is coming to visit too so that makes me feel better as well it’s just... so much
Oh yeah for sure, we have an appointment with the psychiatrist today so dad is going to be able to talk through what kind of dreams he did have when he did sleep. I maybe slept two hours the whole night. Also I should be able to add onto some insight from a secondary perspective and hopefully be able to give a little more information so that we can figure out what he needs and doesn’t need to take. The only thing I’m concerned about at this point is him going to something else but if he has to go slowly off of the current medication or if it’s OK for him to just stop taking it because he only took two so far.
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You never have to wean off anything if only taken for two days.
And, looky, Young Missy! (My mom's and grandmothers phrase, when they were about to give me a good talkin'-to. lol) YOU need rest! If you do not Take care, you have nothing to Give care. You'll deplete and have nothing to give.
So sleep while he's at work, or find that nice quiet spot and veg out! If you can't do that for you, do it for your dad. Because he has enough to worry about without worrying that you're running on empty.
And, looky, Young Missy! (My mom's and grandmothers phrase, when they were about to give me a good talkin'-to. lol) YOU need rest! If you do not Take care, you have nothing to Give care. You'll deplete and have nothing to give.
So sleep while he's at work, or find that nice quiet spot and veg out! If you can't do that for you, do it for your dad. Because he has enough to worry about without worrying that you're running on empty.