ArtsieSteph's dad's cancer superthread

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ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#61
Apr 1, 2014
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#61
I have been learning things from him slowly, but one thing that really frustrates him is when I try to do something for him and I have to ask him 100 questions and still mess it up. So it's like the thing that helps him is also the thing that doesn't. It just finckhvbdhvskhbsdhka.

Please pray for him guys, he doesn't want to do anything. I can't help cheer him up...I am so happy my mother isn't here right now, she couldn't handle seeing him like this.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#62
#62
ArtsieSteph said:
I have been learning things from him slowly, but one thing that really frustrates him is when I try to do something for him and I have to ask him 100 questions and still mess it up. So it's like the thing that helps him is also the thing that doesn't. It just finckhvbdhvskhbsdhka.

Please pray for him guys, he doesn't want to do anything. I can't help cheer him up...I am so happy my mother isn't here right now, she couldn't handle seeing him like this.
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Yeah, "he's a guy." Dad had no problems teaching me how to deal with checkbooks and budgets, but he also had absolutely no patience with me when I couldn't do mechanical things or help him carry heavy things up steps. (He's a guy. Sometimes guys don't get that a woman is literally weaker than a man.) I bet your dad has patience for some things, but not others. Try sticking to the ones he has patience for. (I have knot-patience -- the patience required to untangle something. Hubby doesn't. Hubby has fix-patience -- the patience to fix things. I don't. We all have patience. We just differ on what we're patient about.)

As for being lifeless today. Give him that. This really is depressing. And he probably used his last ounce of strength to handle your sister's wedding. So he's utterly exhausted after that too. If he is approachable for something like this, (some people are, some aren't), then ask him how long he thinks is reasonable to have his pity party. (And he really does warrant one, so that's not a put down.) Let him decide how long he'll give himself to feel sorry for himself. And then when that time is over, remind him that time is over for now. Time to get back to life. Be that person for him, and he will appreciate it (if he is that kind of person. Hubby is that kind. Dad never was.)
 
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pottersclay

Guest
#63
#63
Steph, perfectly normal to be fatigued with chemo and all, remind him of this it will help.

It's frustrating for him because he seems like a doer and now he doesn't have the energy perfectly normal. Things go through your mind when your in treatment it's like wide awake for a nightmare but you don't want to say anything because you think you're weird or something so you stay quiet .
Talk to dad , just normal response stuff, he will take time to process what you are saying so keep it simple (chemo headed) .
Give ya a example I went to Wal-Mart about 3weeks into my treatment (just up the road) walked in forgot what I went there for looked around, half hour latter back home. Sat on couch fell a sleep for six hrs. Totally exhausted.
Let him know what he's feeling is normal, tell him it's going to just be a bit longer to do simple tasks so for him to be patient with himself and others please.
Your doing great steph stop trying so hard lol.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#64
Apr 1, 2014
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#64
Thank you everyone. One thing that I need to do more is talk. All my life it has been me talking, and dad just listening and going "Ok" like "I'm just letting you talk to make you feel better." So I've been trying to just be there and not bother him so much, but then at the same time it makes it so that he doesn't really talk we just watch TV. I just....it feels like nothing I do is correct
 
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pottersclay

Guest
#65
#65
Sweetie, just be his daughter, not someone who has to get it right but someone who is a part of him. Your dad has a lot on his mind right now. Hang out with him, talk about anything.
Hey dad when you were my age what was it like? Who taught you to drive dad? What sports did you play in school? Your dad was once a kid sooooo!!!! What's his favorite thing to do? Did he ever get in trouble?
What was his first car? A little you and him time. Challenge him to a card game or board game.
Favorite song, band, memory, there is no right or wrong only a daughter and her dad.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#66
#66
ArtsieSteph said:
Thank you everyone. One thing that I need to do more is talk. All my life it has been me talking, and dad just listening and going "Ok" like "I'm just letting you talk to make you feel better." So I've been trying to just be there and not bother him so much, but then at the same time it makes it so that he doesn't really talk we just watch TV. I just....it feels like nothing I do is correct
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Wait. You are capable of sustained silence? Wow! I wonder what that is like. lol
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#67
Apr 1, 2014
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#67
Depleted said:
Wait. You are capable of sustained silence? Wow! I wonder what that is like. lol
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Hahahaha

It's more that I do something the entertain myself and let him sleep when he's watching like youtube or netflix. As far as a "sustained silence" I truly don't know how to do that either hahaha.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#68
Apr 1, 2014
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#68
So thank you everyone for still looking in about dad.

Basically he's on his fourth chemo right now, and he's been doing well. We've kind of got a rythm of when he needs to eat, what meds he needs to take, ect. The only thing right now that needs prayer is that he has a CAT scan on his abdomen in two weeks to see how much the tumor has shrunken.

Please pray it has shrunken a lot and/or is gone.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#69
Apr 1, 2014
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#69
So today is the day before the CT scan. Having OCD and also being scared makes me think of a lot of good and bad possibilities. There is the possibility that God has completely healed my dad's cancer, there is also the possibility that the chemo has only affected it a little bit, there is the possibility that the chemo has affected it a lot, and there is the possibility that the chemo has done nothing whatsoever. Based on my dad's reports that his stomach is feeling a lot less bloated than before I don't think that the last possibility is the highest but God knows.

Please pray for me as well as the other family members that are going to be at the appointment with Dad to see what the scan comes up with.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#70
#70
Praying for wisdom and Gods peace for you all.
 
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pottersclay

Guest
#71
#71
ArtsieSteph said:
So today is the day before the CT scan. Having OCD and also being scared makes me think of a lot of good and bad possibilities. There is the possibility that God has completely healed my dad's cancer, there is also the possibility that the chemo has only affected it a little bit, there is the possibility that the chemo has affected it a lot, and there is the possibility that the chemo has done nothing whatsoever. Based on my dad's reports that his stomach is feeling a lot less bloated than before I don't think that the last possibility is the highest but God knows.

Please pray for me as well as the other family members that are going to be at the appointment with Dad to see what the scan comes up with.
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Steph, you did wonderful it's been a while since I spoke or typed to ya sis.
Praise God for his faithfulness, his love, his mercy, time to celebrate sis, I know you said tomorrow but I can't contain it. What a awesome awesome and again I say awesome God we serve.
May the Lord bless you and yours with celebration and good news.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#72
#72
ArtsieSteph said:
So today is the day before the CT scan. Having OCD and also being scared makes me think of a lot of good and bad possibilities. There is the possibility that God has completely healed my dad's cancer, there is also the possibility that the chemo has only affected it a little bit, there is the possibility that the chemo has affected it a lot, and there is the possibility that the chemo has done nothing whatsoever. Based on my dad's reports that his stomach is feeling a lot less bloated than before I don't think that the last possibility is the highest but God knows.

Please pray for me as well as the other family members that are going to be at the appointment with Dad to see what the scan comes up with.
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Warning: CT scan technicians never, ever tell the patient what they see. So even though today is the day, a phone call from the doctor or waiting to see the doctor next time is when you find out what it told.

Results won't be available until tomorrow or some time next week.

90% of the time, you don't want the phone call from the doctor. (They usually call for bad news.) BUT, on a rare occasion they also call because of good news. (Makes the phone call worth picking up.)

It was never the test that scared me. It was waiting for the results that did. Very frustrating since usually the longer the wait, the better the news. (Put me on pins and needles for a long time, why doncha, doc?)
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#73
Apr 1, 2014
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#73
Well fortunately they have to give us the results today because it will either be more chemo tomorrow or not, so the results directly affect tomorro 's activities.

We we had a bad start this morning too, mom and dad got into a colossal fight and it hasn't been good. They're still cooling off back to normal but....*sigh*
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#74
Apr 1, 2014
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#74
HIS TUMOR SHRUNK 40%!!! HIS TUMOR SHRUNK 40%!!! I AM GONNA SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS HIS TUMOR SHRUNK 40%!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

And no other spots, no other areas affected!!
 
M

Miri

Guest
#75
#75
Wow that's great news. I'm so glad for you all.

Will the treatment continue? If so then at least you know it's working and it
will all be worthwhile. I'm so happy for you. :D
 
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pottersclay

Guest
#76
#76
Been dancing since yesterday for you all...I knew it I knew it....God is so so so good.
 
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pottersclay

Guest
#77
#77
My pastor told me a time back that man might have medicine but it's God who makes it work.

The way God chooses to heal who can say....but he does. Look at the example that Jesus showed us.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#78
Apr 1, 2014
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#78
My dad is looking up a lot of cancer treatment stuff on the internet. I'm worried he'll drive himself a little crazy with all the stuff that's out there, and what is and isn't effective. He's not ususaly a "sit at the computer" kinda guy unless it's work. Though perhaps, he's thinking of it as work. Because when he did work, he had to stare at a computer all day.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#79
Apr 1, 2014
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#79
He's not bailing from his current treatments of chemo and what is going on at the cancer treatment place, he's just trying his best to make it work better...? More? I dunno. He's trying to help.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#80
#80
ArtsieSteph said:
He's not bailing from his current treatments of chemo and what is going on at the cancer treatment place, he's just trying his best to make it work better...? More? I dunno. He's trying to help.
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This is his job for now -- get better. And he has the mentality that this is his job. This is his new work program. So he's trying to contribute to get the job done. I want to say that's a guy thing, but that's how I would take it too. Yes, it's working. He's just trying to get it done in the best possible way. The good news is 40%! This is working, so he'll probably keep checking for "better than that," however since that's worked so good so quickly, he'll probably stick with this.

This is his job now. Honest. This is it. He's just working it the best way he knows how. So expect him to be working it as hard as he has always worked his job -- maybe even a little harder, because this means everything. This is as unrelated to him going crazy as possible. Completely, utterly sane!
 
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