Do you believe being gay is a choice?

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Mitspa

Guest
I admittedly did not read through this whole thread, but I'd like to say that being tempted is NOT a sin. Everyone is tempted to sin...even Jesus was tempted. Dare we say that Jesus sinned? God forbid.
True...but if you hold on to a sin and claim that sin as part of your identity that's a sin in itself.
 
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Kaycie

Guest
As a born again Christian and follower of Christ, let me tell you that while giving in to same-sex attractions and actually living a gay lifestyle *is* a choice, simply having same-sex attractions is absolutely *not* a choice. As a young boy I was attracted to guys before I knew there was such a thing as homosexuality- how could I have chosen something I didn't know existed?

Whether I was born that way or developed the feelings at a very young age I don't know, and frankly doesn't matter to me as much as it seems to matter to straight Christians. I do know like all of us I was born with a sinful nature.

I'm seeing too many people on here passing judgment on a condition they simply don't understand. What a Christian struggling against gay temptations needs is prayer, love, compassion, and encouragement, not judgment from folks who surely, like all of us, have their own temptations they're fighting (and - not saying this is everyone - sometimes condemn homosexuality so they can feel better about their own sins). What we especially don't need is someone who hasn't got a clue what this struggle is like discouraging us as we try to fight this in God's power.
You say that homosexuality is a choice, but being attracted to the same sex is not a choice. But you can change what satan tempts you with if you never give in to it. I agree that we all have no choice in that we will be tempted to sin, Jesus was tempted to sin. But He had a choice to give in to it or not give in to it, just as we do. No, it is not wrong to be tempted, but it is wrong to entertain those thoughts instead of dismissing them immediately. As with any temptation, if you immediately deny it access, satan will quit tempting you and flee away. Why? Because he is not patient. He may come back, but the more you immediately dismiss a specific temptation, the more he will think, "Ok that one doesn't work, let's try a different one."
 

slave

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True...but if you hold on to a sin and claim that sin as part of your identity that's a sin in itself.
I agree with the fact that heterosexuals can stay within a ordained marriage inclusion of God's blessing, whereas Active Homosexuals cannot.This is correct. But we do have to put that into perspective while dealing with Homosexuals, it still remains a person no lesser a person than any of us. For we have all sinned and fall short. So from our original origins we are all equally evil. This is a point we also need to heed. But I do agree with your point here absolutely biblical.
 

slave

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Mar 20, 2015
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You say that homosexuality is a choice, but being attracted to the same sex is not a choice. But you can change what satan tempts you with if you never give in to it. I agree that we all have no choice in that we will be tempted to sin, Jesus was tempted to sin. But He had a choice to give in to it or not give in to it, just as we do. No, it is not wrong to be tempted, but it is wrong to entertain those thoughts instead of dismissing them immediately. As with any temptation, if you immediately deny it access, satan will quit tempting you and flee away. Why? Because he is not patient. He may come back, but the more you immediately dismiss a specific temptation, the more he will think, "Ok that one doesn't work, let's try a different one."
I don't quite think Satan thinks like that but I get your point. Satan does leave us alone as we use the authority God has given via Jesus Christ in our lives. As we claim victory and drive out Satan it is not that he thinks this one just doesn't work anymore, and not have patience, but each and every time we remember to use our authority staying seated in Christ It will be that Satan has to back down to the rule of God over him thru Christ. Satan will be patient however...and wait to see when you weaken your resolve to stay in Christ, and as we have issues in life that test our resolve, if we weaken and look to other things to answer lifes issues Satan will come swarming in to suggest reasons to continue distrusting God. Then he can pop a quick temptation in there and poof Satan is back in control if we fail to get by that temptation. Now God has offered us a way around that return to death by way of forgiveness of confessed sin, but that's Satan's ongoing campaign. And Scripture tells us how wide the road to distraction is and how many will travel it. He seems to have an effective system working, except for those who see the light and stay in the light these Satan has no power over!
 
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hopesprings

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True...but if you hold on to a sin and claim that sin as part of your identity that's a sin in itself.
So you are saying even calling yourself gay is a sin, even if you never act on it?
Hmmm...I never thought about that before
 
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You say that homosexuality is a choice
For me there is a dilemma here. An emotional response to someone, sexual or otherwise, is part of how we show intimacy.
For some people this attraction is so linked to sexual ideas or emotions, intimacy or understanding someone, becomes sexual when it may not be at all. I have seen people who where very attractive, they pressed certain relationship buttons.

I suspect until you can understand this tenderness, this feeling for another, is just that. If you are very isolated, and find the other sex to other, relating to people of your own sex is a lot easier and in someways safer.

What I discovered is I can care for people of either sex, but it does not mean I want a sexual interaction at all. I have had inappropriate responses from both, but this is more about this kind of confusion than gay or straight dispositions.

If a person can have sexual relations with either sex, it does come down to choice, because there is a point where they are choosing what is acceptable to them. Sex is an act, it is fundamentally about family and children, bonding to form the base of a caring couple to shelter and protect the new person coming into the world. The further we are not coping, the more sexual drive becomes all consuming selfish activity of desire and explosion of need.

Just look at the gay community. It is often sexuality gone mad, extreme expressions, over indulgence, an idea that an act defines your whole personality, which is just wrong, you are who you are irrespective of orientation. In reality we spend most of our lives celibate, coping with what life throws at us, and not wondering about who we are.
 
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Tommy2

Guest
Do you believe that the "Divine Nature" of God can overcome the old sin nature at some point? It sounds like you do? Look, God changed my very nature and continues that work in me... If I make excuses to allow the old man to have place in my nature, I hinder the Lords work .... If I said..."im a guy" single by the way..."ive always been attracted to girls body parts" ...I believe that would leave a door open for that sin of lust to work.. *I think when some of hear these excuses, it sounds like its a justification in some way? and to me sounds like it hinders the Lord work....
I definitely see your point, but in my case I see it as more an acknowledgment of reality then a justification. Until I was 19, despite the attraction for men that was going on inside me, I just assumed I was straight and eventually would get married like everyone else, despite having little interest in women. Then one night it clicked that I was what the world calls "gay-oriented." All the years I hadn't acknowledged my situation and instead just kind of explained it away in my head, it certainly didn't go away. Now I'm willing to admit I have these urges, hopefully not to justify them, but to acknowledge they are a problem that I desperately need God's help with.
 
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Tommy2

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You say that homosexuality is a choice, but being attracted to the same sex is not a choice. But you can change what satan tempts you with if you never give in to it. I agree that we all have no choice in that we will be tempted to sin, Jesus was tempted to sin. But He had a choice to give in to it or not give in to it, just as we do. No, it is not wrong to be tempted, but it is wrong to entertain those thoughts instead of dismissing them immediately. As with any temptation, if you immediately deny it access, satan will quit tempting you and flee away. Why? Because he is not patient. He may come back, but the more you immediately dismiss a specific temptation, the more he will think, "Ok that one doesn't work, let's try a different one."

I am sure your intentions were good, so please see this as constructive Christian criticism, but this is the kind of thing those of us battling gay urges don't need -- we know we shouldn't entertain those thoughts, but this message offers no encouragement or sympathy for how difficult that is for us; all it offers is a lecture. Your point is correct, I just wish it was delivered more in a spirit of love than lecture.
 
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Mitspa

Guest
I definitely see your point, but in my case I see it as more an acknowledgment of reality then a justification. Until I was 19, despite the attraction for men that was going on inside me, I just assumed I was straight and eventually would get married like everyone else, despite having little interest in women. Then one night it clicked that I was what the world calls "gay-oriented." All the years I hadn't acknowledged my situation and instead just kind of explained it away in my head, it certainly didn't go away. Now I'm willing to admit I have these urges, hopefully not to justify them, but to acknowledge they are a problem that I desperately need God's help with.
I was thinking about a switch I have in my conscience ..if I see an attractive girl I might admire her beauty ..but if I find out she is married, I never allow that attraction to have place again...does that make sense to you. I believe we have an ability to reject certain things in a way that promote godliness.
 

slave

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So you are saying even calling yourself gay is a sin, even if you never act on it?
Hmmm...I never thought about that before
If you never act upon it then you are not apart of it's judgment are you? But Homosexuality is indeed in and of itself a sin to righteousness. The balancing keel will never have the option to balance homosexuality unto righteousness. Satan is the author of taking what God makes and perverting it. A righteous Homosexual is not a concept God ever created, but the person who is homosexual is. So we need to evaluate the two separately. The same is true with Heterosexual activity, we can pervert it as well in lust, but unlike homosexuality heterosexuality is a God produced blessing. Homosexuality was never in God's wheel-house of production. So it is not a good thing gone bad, it is a bad thing affecting good people.
 
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Yonah

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The redeeming power of our Savior can and will deliver ALL who call upon Him, what a persons desires are is not sin... to give into those desires if they be displeasing to God is, the propensity toward evil is manifested in many ways and the homosexual behavior is but one of many, the question we must ask (as believers) is: do we believe the Saviors words that he will never leave us nor forsake us no matter what? that he will cleans us from all unrighteousness? that he will raise us up to life everlasting on that day? because if we do believe these things then the fact someone has desires toward homosexual behavior and any other sin, is irrelevant and has no chance to stand against the awesome power of the great I AM.
 
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Lis45

Guest
unfortunately, homosexuals come from ALL types of families, even families where both parents are Christians and together. It has no bounds. We are all born into sin in that we all are born with a sinful nature....that is what makes homosexuality "natural". It doesn't mean its right, or that it's God's will...it just means it's there and part of one's sinful nature. In my son's case, his struggle started at in the prime of puberty....just like when you suddenly realize an attraction for a girl for the first time....he never experienced that. Instead, he realized his attraction was for the opposite sex...and it upset him so badly.Please pray for him. He needs the love, spirit, and the power of God in his life. I will never reject him and I will always love him, and I will NEVER shame him for being gay. I will, however, pray for him. It is something only God can heal, we are not authorized to fix him or make him right. We can pray and point him in the right direction though...without judgement, without hatred, and without condemnation.
 

Yeraza_Bats

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Dec 11, 2014
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Tell me how to stop? Because I pray, but it hasn't changed overnight. What has changed is it happens less often. The Lord is thankfully in many ways removing the desire. But I know that it still happens on occassion, and that I stumble. The Lord is good, but he hasn't given me an attraction to women. Instead, he seems to just begin to replace my attraction with a want to intimately know and help others. However, the thoughts come unbidden on occasion. I don't blame God, I don't blame myself. I blame the flesh and Satan, and ask the Lord to rebuke it.

The misunderstanding here is what you tell yourself. Telling yourself that you are attracted to the same sex and cant help it will not help you get become strong against temptation, and it leaves you open to the enemy. You must be strong on what is right, and that means when the idea comes into your head, dont look at it like "I cant help but have these feelings, but God said no", look at it like "These thoughts are disgusting and wrong, get away from me satan".

I can say that the temptation has a much less affect on me now that Ive changed my perspective on the situation :p I can control it, I may be tempted, but Ill keep turning my head from it :p Its nothing more than a temptation, and if I choose to ignore it, its way freaking meaningless :p
 

Yeraza_Bats

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Dec 11, 2014
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So you are saying even calling yourself gay is a sin, even if you never act on it?
Hmmm...I never thought about that before

I believe it is, because you are openly proclaiming to the world that you desire someone of the same gender. Even if you are not actively doing it, you still live with the desire.

"If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out." Theres no need to continue telling everyone that you desire the same gender :p I believe it IS right for someone who has lived that life to share their testimony of coming to God and leaving that life, but that should not include adding in "oh Im still gay, though", that doest really give much credit to the Lord, you know? :p
 
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Mitspa

Guest
unfortunately, homosexuals come from ALL types of families, even families where both parents are Christians and together. It has no bounds. We are all born into sin in that we all are born with a sinful nature....that is what makes homosexuality "natural". It doesn't mean its right, or that it's God's will...it just means it's there and part of one's sinful nature. In my son's case, his struggle started at in the prime of puberty....just like when you suddenly realize an attraction for a girl for the first time....he never experienced that. Instead, he realized his attraction was for the opposite sex...and it upset him so badly.Please pray for him. He needs the love, spirit, and the power of God in his life. I will never reject him and I will always love him, and I will NEVER shame him for being gay. I will, however, pray for him. It is something only God can heal, we are not authorized to fix him or make him right. We can pray and point him in the right direction though...without judgement, without hatred, and without condemnation.
Its not natural...yes we are all born with sin, but in Christ we overcome sin...so And the scriptures themselves declare this sin is against nature. Now what you think you should do to help is your business before the Lord...the rest of us have to answer to God with our own conscience. There are worse things than shame ..and shame can work to bring repentance.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
So you are saying even calling yourself gay is a sin, even if you never act on it?
Hmmm...I never thought about that before
Jesus told us that it's still adultery just thinking of a woman like that, so why would that be any different for any other sin?
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
unfortunately, homosexuals come from ALL types of families, even families where both parents are Christians and together. It has no bounds. We are all born into sin in that we all are born with a sinful nature....that is what makes homosexuality "natural". It doesn't mean its right, or that it's God's will...it just means it's there and part of one's sinful nature. In my son's case, his struggle started at in the prime of puberty....just like when you suddenly realize an attraction for a girl for the first time....he never experienced that. Instead, he realized his attraction was for the opposite sex...and it upset him so badly.Please pray for him. He needs the love, spirit, and the power of God in his life. I will never reject him and I will always love him, and I will NEVER shame him for being gay. I will, however, pray for him. It is something only God can heal, we are not authorized to fix him or make him right. We can pray and point him in the right direction though...without judgement, without hatred, and without condemnation.
Does what you believe change if it were a different sin? Let's try this same theory with a different sin:
unfortunately, thieves come from ALL types of families, even families where both parents are Christians and together. It has no bounds. We are all born into sin in that we all are born with a sinful nature....that is what makes stealing "natural". It doesn't mean its right, or that it's God's will...it just means it's there and part of one's sinful nature. In my son's case, his struggle started at in the prime of puberty....just like when you suddenly realize an attraction for a girl for the first time....he never experienced that. Instead, he realized his attraction was for robbing convenient stores...and it upset him so badly.Please pray for him. He needs the love, spirit, and the power of God in his life. I will never reject him and I will always love him, and I will NEVER shame him for being a thief. I will, however, pray for him. It is something only God can heal, we are not authorized to fix him or make him right. We can pray and point him in the right direction though...without judgement, without hatred, and without condemnation.
So, did that just change your view on what you believe? Personally? As much as I love my family, that doesn't mean I'm sitting back and accepting them, no matter which way their sin nature takes them. Instead of sitting back, I'd help by finding the counselor that can handle that perverted lifestyle. (And when I say "perverted," deciding I'm a thief, serial killer, liar, addict, or gossiper by my very sinful nature is just as perverted as any sexual sin.) There is help out there. Loving doesn't mean "accept the choice."
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
I am sure your intentions were good, so please see this as constructive Christian criticism, but this is the kind of thing those of us battling gay urges don't need -- we know we shouldn't entertain those thoughts, but this message offers no encouragement or sympathy for how difficult that is for us; all it offers is a lecture. Your point is correct, I just wish it was delivered more in a spirit of love than lecture.
Before you were a believer, exactly how successful where you in battling your sin? I'm assuming unsuccessful, right?

So, obvious question, if you weren't ever successful battling your sins on your own before you were believer, what makes you think you'll be more successful battling them on your own now as a believer? Isn't the idea we came to God because we know we couldn't do it on our own? So, why keep doing it on your own after coming to him?

Silly part is you already said it's gotten better when you pray and seek God. Are you now expecting you're strong enough to pick it up from here and pull it off on your own?

You want encouragement and support? You already received that. You asked God and he helped you. Ask, and you shall receive. Not a pithy little saying. You already know it works. Keep doing that and those stretches where you don't think like that get longer and longer.

It's a addiction. You need others who have been there and moved passed it through God's strength to figure out what to do once the withdraw is waning.
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
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So you are saying even calling yourself gay is a sin, even if you never act on it?
Hmmm...I never thought about that before
To understand the truth of God's judgement on a thing and to be real in our facts are two separate things as well. If you are a homosexual God comes to love you, He says come as you are, and He will give you rest. No matter what we are or do, we can come honestly before God we need not correct ourself first, that's works in a microcosm. we need only come honestly with the facts and say," God, what would you have me do and see?".. Then He will love you unto Himself to change in the new creation. There are no sins so evil God cannot mend them thru Christ Jesus. This is another important point.
 
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Lis45

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I think you and I are defining natural in two different ways here, Mitspa. I'm defining it from a sinful "nature" perspective. ..and I agree with you that in Christ we can overcome sin...which is why I asked for you all to pray for my son...because it is Christ who he needs above all....and no, I won't shame him who has already shamed and loathed himself his entire life. In my son's case, shaming him further could lead to his own suicide. He has long suffered with both anxiety and depression. I have, however, been honest with him about what God desires and requires of him. He needs to know God is real, first and foremost, and that God truly loves him to the extent of dying for him in order that he might be saved. Not sure where your going when you say "the rest of us have to answer to God with our own conscience"...but so do I...and I lean on him daily for that. So rather than getting nit-picky, why don't you just pray for the kid like I'm asking?