How is loneliness while single different from loneliness in marriage?

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Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
3,497
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#21
we are talking about the same thing, one of us us born again, spirit filled and walking in viral relationship and one is still a carnal, or sense ruled Christian, if Christian at all.
He will grow us all as much as we desire and allow to be grown.
Many stay as outward form Christians, Jesus told us clearly that would be the case in these last days, they would hold to an outward form of godliness denying the power thereof, others would grow and go one to do greater works than He Himself.
best wishes
Reread the original post. You're way out of line and off base in your responses.

You also just sound like you suggested I'm not a Christian. In fact, I am a Christian.

Now that you've revealed your hand and made a major error in your assessment of me I know that it is not the Spirit of God that lead you to that conclusion.
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
3,497
2,227
113
#22
Reread the original post. You're way out of line and off base in your responses.

You also just sound like you suggested I'm not a Christian. In fact, I am a Christian.

Now that you've revealed your hand and made a major error in your assessment of me I know that it is not the Spirit of God that lead you to that conclusion.

@shittim here is the original post and it's all about physical human relationships. This post is about marriage verses being single. Let's post it again since you decided to derail the whole thread:

"We all know that not all singles and not married couples are lonely. However, people in both groups admit to being lonely. How is being lonely while single different from being lonely while married? Are they different or equally terrible? While everyone's views are welcome, I believe only people who have been both single (living alone) for an extended time and have been in long-term relationships/marriages can offer wise words on this topic."
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,243
4,603
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#23
no- a right relationship with the indwelling Christ keeps the true Christian from loneliness , posts 11 from lighthearted and 17 from me cover this. I know you don't 'get" this, most don't , a remnant of genuine, Spirit Filled Christians do. I hope you get there someday soon
Not going to argue with you.
goodbye
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
361
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#24
Loneliness is not a sin nor a crime. So im not seeing why some are making it out to be that way.

But being Christian and lonely is different from being unsaved and lonely. This distinction is important.

The Christian can find peace by puting his trust in God and reading the scripture for encouragement. But the unsaved dont have this reliance on God and in despiration, they may make unwise decisions.

A Christian can get into despair as well, when other Christians condemn them for feeling lonely or sad. We need to speak words of encouragement to the one who is sad and lonely.

I dont know if being married and lonely is worst than when single. I think loneliness just feels the same whether you are single or married.

But whether you're single or married, its very important to be at peace with yourself by not depending on someone else to make you happy.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,580
1,144
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#25
I disagree. No one is supposed to feel lonely. That is why we are encouraged to fellowship and lift one another up. That is why God gives us purpose to fill our lives. God never leaves or forsakes us...so we are never truly alone.
Loneliness ultimately boils down to a personal choice.
Same here, when we fellowship with the indwelling Christ we can never be alone.
He will NEVER leave us or forsake us.
I believe this type of thinking is why many Christians believe that Christians should not feel depressed or anxious (like loneliness), but we know that many Christians struggle and take antidepressants and anxiety meds. A person can feel lonely if she/he is seeking deep connection is but isn't getting it (either as a single or married, and even when a person has lost a spouse). Using an extreme example, when a spouse passes, the living spouse will feel lonely possibly for many years. I believe God will help us deal with the loneliness but the person can still feel lonely.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,243
4,603
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#26
It isn't "a type of thinking", that is from an outward form of godliness. It is from right relationship, all the time, day and night, with the indwelling Christ who comes in to stay with us and communicates to us as we keep ourselves "stayed on Him" and keep "praying without ceasing", all these things are our marching orders for this life, this whole life.
Again, Jesus said this is what would happen, that people would hold to an outward form of godliness denying the power, the power comes from staying in complete communication with Him, just as He told the disciples in John 16 of the time when Holy Spirit would come, and that is where we are. Most hold to the outward form, others in obedience will go on to do greater works than He Himself in His name.
best wishes
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#27
I believe this type of thinking is why many Christians believe that Christians should not feel depressed or anxious (like loneliness), but we know that many Christians struggle and take antidepressants and anxiety meds. A person can feel lonely if she/he is seeking deep connection is but isn't getting it (either as a single or married, and even when a person has lost a spouse). Using an extreme example, when a spouse passes, the living spouse will feel lonely possibly for many years. I believe God will help us deal with the loneliness but the person can still feel lonely.
It's not thinking at all. It's overt cognitive dissonance. That's the problem with the health wealth and prosperity bunch. They think themselves so spiritual that no reality can penetrate their fortification.
You ask one how they are doing they have some insipid response, like, blessed more than I deserve. Rather than confess the truth, when they are dealing with something. It's absurd how they are unable to be honest because having any emotion other than elation over Jesus isn't spiritual. "My mom died, but I'm doing cart wheels down the halls for Jesus." I'm so happy. Forgetting the scripture admonishing us to morn with those who morn.

There are many; literally dozens of scripture passages given to strengthen us and support us in lonely times; because we will be lonely at times. That is why those passages are there. To carry us through those times. If we can't confess those lonely feelings then how can those scriptures support and strengthen us, and why would they be written?
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
361
292
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#28
No one actually prays to God without ceasing or actually goes about thinking only about God every second of the day.

When anyone is at work dealing with customers or whatever task they have at hand, do they at that time pray without ceasing and do they have their total attention on God at that time?

When someone is asleep are they still praying?

If you are having a conversation with someone, are you at that time praying simutaneously to God also?

So clearly, while we should all endeavour to have our actions be inline with the word of God, and by this we are being mindful of Him, i dont think there is anyone at all who prays non stop without ever ceasing so how can that be the cure for loneliness?

The feeling of loneliness or being sad or hurt will come and go at different times in our lives. That is a fact. And it is also a fact that as a Christian you can learn how to manage those emotions by the help of God. So you dont need to be depressed or feel hopeless all the time.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#29
It isn't "a type of thinking", that is from an outward form of godliness. It is from right relationship, all the time, day and night, with the indwelling Christ who comes in to stay with us and communicates to us as we keep ourselves "stayed on Him" and keep "praying without ceasing", all these things are our marching orders for this life, this whole life.
Again, Jesus said this is what would happen, that people would hold to an outward form of godliness denying the power, the power comes from staying in complete communication with Him, just as He told the disciples in John 16 of the time when Holy Spirit would come, and that is where we are. Most hold to the outward form, others in obedience will go on to do greater works than He Himself in His name.
best wishes
Yeah, yeah, we know. If we have any emotion that isn't enthused elation, we just are not Christian, and will burn in hell forever, thank you. Good bye.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#30
No one actually prays to God without ceasing or actually goes about thinking only about God every second of the day.

When anyone is at work dealing with customers or whatever task they have at hand, do they at that time pray without ceasing and do they have their total attention on God at that time?

When someone is asleep are they still praying?

If you are having a conversation with someone, are you at that time praying simutaneously to God also?

So clearly, while we should all endeavour to have our actions be inline with the word of God, and by this we are being mindful of Him, i dont think there is anyone at all who prays non stop without ever ceasing so how can that be the cure for loneliness?

The feeling of loneliness or being sad or hurt will come and go at different times in our lives. That is a fact. And it is also a fact that as a Christian you can learn how to manage those emotions by the help of God. So you dont need to be depressed or feel hopeless all the time.
You can't penetrate the fortress of delusion with reality.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#31
The dread red X is a sure sign of being on the right track, when the giver of it is theologically off in left field.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,243
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#32
neither of you, or running man have reached the point Jesus and scripture teach, praying is communicating with God, Jesus was clear when He taught "I only do what I see the Father do" and "I only say what I hear the Father say".
You are all leaning on your own understanding and demonstrating to other how that misses the mark.
We all start at the same point. where you are now, but a few go one and grow just as Jesus modeled for us and thanks to His perfect life and sacrifice go on to the greater works He said were available.
All I am passing on to you is Bible, all you are posting is denial of the Bible.
All the red x means is disagree, wish there were a symbol that babes in Christ did not come to fear and be triggered by.
best wishes and goodbye
 
Jul 9, 2020
872
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#33
We all know that not all singles and not married couples are lonely. However, people in both groups admit to being lonely. How is being lonely while single different from being lonely while married? Are they different or equally terrible? While everyone's views are welcome, I believe only people who have been both single (living alone) for an extended time and have been in long-term relationships/marriages can offer wise words on this topic.
When you're single I think there's a certain expectation of being "lonely". That loneliness is part of what drives us to find a mate. It's a good thing in a way.

In marriage I would think that loneliness would be just awful. I think it would be way, way worse. I can't imagine and nor can I relate to that.

Here's a story:
I went out surfing the other day. No one else was out. It was cold and overcast. Completely by myself. Lot's of times it's a little bit spooky being out there by yourself. I see sharks all the time. But I wasn't lonely then. You know why? Because my wife was sitting on the bench watching me surf. (She might have been reading a book. But I like to think that maybe she was watching me a little bit too. hahaha) It was so nice! Even though she wasn't right with me, we were still together. And that made my surf session so much more fun. That's the type of thing an awesome wife does. I am so blessed. Thank you, God!
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#35
I got a red X once. Well, actually I have received a lot of 'em. Kind of amusing.
I have 24 of them and 9 thumbs down. Mostly from people so far off from actual real biblical understanding, that they are actually an approval.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
361
292
63
#37
I got a red X once. Well, actually I have received a lot of 'em. Kind of amusing.
I remember some time ago i said something and someone didnt like it so they gave me an x. But the person did not let it rest there. They went to my profile and put a x on something I said there as well. Its really silly, childish.

But not as silly as when I saw someone demand that the red x be removed from their comment by the person who put it there. This person wants only to give the x but not to receive any.

Yes its quite amusing. The x has turned into a joke. I think the thumbs down carries more weight.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,243
4,603
113
#38
When you're single I think there's a certain expectation of being "lonely". That loneliness is part of what drives us to find a mate. It's a good thing in a way.

In marriage I would think that loneliness would be just awful. I think it would be way, way worse. I can't imagine and nor can I relate to that.

Here's a story:
I went out surfing the other day. No one else was out. It was cold and overcast. Completely by myself. Lot's of times it's a little bit spooky being out there by yourself. I see sharks all the time. But I wasn't lonely then. You know why? Because my wife was sitting on the bench watching me surf. (She might have been reading a book. But I like to think that maybe she was watching me a little bit too. hahaha) It was so nice! Even though she wasn't right with me, we were still together. And that made my surf session so much more fun. That's the type of thing an awesome wife does. I am so blessed. Thank you, God!
There was a research experiment once where a couple was separated and placed in in Faraday cages, totally isolated from each other, electrodes had been placed on each and a light shown in the eye of one, and it registered in the brain of the other person.
Seems we can be connected in the Quantum realm, where God resides and works, we know from scripture we were made in His image, male and female.
Thank you for sharing this, bless you brother
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,722
733
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#39
As with everything, context is vital to proper reading comprehension. You're right that we should not feel lonely in a general sense, but we're talking about relationship status.

In relationships you're either married or you're not. Married couples are not supposed to feel lonely. Single people do not have a significant other meaning they do not have someone to keep them company. So therefore they should feel alone. I'll double-down and triple-down on this because I'm right.

You should take time to think your responses through before slapping a red x on something. You probably just feel embarrassed now.
As with everything, context is vital to proper reading comprehension. You're right that we should not feel lonely in a general sense, but we're talking about relationship status.

In relationships you're either married or you're not. Married couples are not supposed to feel lonely. Single people do not have a significant other meaning they do not have someone to keep them company. So therefore they should feel alone. I'll double-down and triple-down on this because I'm right.

You should take time to think your responses through before slapping a red x on something. You probably just feel embarrassed now.
No. Im not embarrassed because I have whethered this storm myself. I was married for 20 years. The devil took advantage of my loneliness and pain to drive wedges between my relationship with God and the very people placed in my life, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Not just my marriage, but a very painful past of physical and sexual abuse. If I had only turned to the Lord, who was always right there...I wouldn't have felt the loneliness that I felt and I wouldn't have spent the last 10 years in despair. Letting satan use my pain to control me indeed was a choice I made. Indeed the Lord gives us the strength and power to overcome. Those are promises I should have stood on and saved myself a long journey back. However, the lessons and my faith have increased because of it. I praise God for turning me around.

Perhaps I should have expanded my personal context.

Choose to cling to JESUS, not the circumstances.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,243
4,603
113
#40
Same here, when we fellowship with the indwelling Christ we can never be alone.
He will NEVER leave us or forsake us.
Thank you lighhearted, it is always great to see another kindred soul.