My husband had a strange introduction to my housekeeping skills. We were in college together and he would come over sometimes to talk about rides to school and so forth. I was taking 5 science courses, complete with labs. My apartment consistened of piles and piles of notes for classes, binders and text books. I did not clean that place once the entire school year. I might have washed dishes once a week.
When school ended, I borrowed a neighbour's vacuum cleaner and cleaned that place to within an inch of its life. He was stunned when he came over and saw that I could actually clean a house. So when we got married, he never placed any expectations on me for housework, because first I was in university full time, more babies, more university, working teaching on-call at first, then part time, with larger percentages working and still finishing my undergrad degree forever.
All the cooking fell to me, which was fine, because I like cooking, baking, etc. He had to do the upkeep on our cars, which he liked. There was no outdoor work, because we initially lived in an apartment. Then we rented a house for a few years, and he was in charge of lawns.I was full time on laundry, vacuuming, dusting, shopping, anything that had to do with the inside of the house was mine.
More babies - now 4. I was getting worn out. But when I asked him to help around the house, he always told me he changed the oil on the cars, that was his job - naive person that I was.
One day we were driving along, and I asked him how often he changed the oil on the two cars. He said every six months. Then I asked him how long it took and he said not more than an hour, sometimes less. I sat for a while and then I said - so I cook every day - 3 meals a day, shop, cook, do laundry and all the cleaning that you couldn't help with because of changing the oil on the cars for 2 hours every six months?? No nagging -just outrage.
He kind of smirked and kind of ducked. Then he started pitching in. By then, I had the three boys doing all the dishes. It was hard to put on a meal for 6 every night, after working all day and then cleaning up after.
Two best parts of house work:
1. My oldest son figured out all the jobs around the house, put it on a dot matrix spread sheet. Everyone had to do three jobs a week, and we chose Saturday morning. My poor three year old daughter got toilets. She told me when she was grown she didn't mind, because they were low, and she liked to see a clean toilet. It usually took a couple of hours till the house was clean. Alas, the boys eventually moved out, leaving my daughter and I doing most of the housework, until....
2. We hired a housekeeper. My RA was largely untreated, and I simply could not do the house work because of the pain. A cousin with RA recommended her housekeeper and she was fast and really good. I had her for 5 years, until she retired. It broke my heart to lose her, but by that time I was on better meds, and it did not matter. I did the housework myself.
Now, I am sick again, and may never be better. Hubby is in charge of all housework, but I do the cooking, unless I cannot get out of bed except in a wheelchair. The house is a mess, dusty, - he has never cleaned the kitchen floor. On my better days, I try to do it. But he is retired, so he has no rationalization to not help. Besides, I take my car to the dealer now to get it serviced! LOL
What is my Biblical opinion on housework? That the Bible was a different time, different restrictions on life, and life was much the same for both the Jews, and the surrounding cultures. Unless people had slaves, the men worked in their own business or for someone else, while the woman did all the housework. The Canaanites, the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans all lived by this standard. It was not Biblical but cultural.
I have always been an egalitarian, so it is a no brainer that men should help around the house, even if the wife is not working. That certainly doesn't mean half the load, but that the effort to help should be for everyone. And if the wife is working then the duties need to be divided up. I agree this should be figured out before engagement or marriage. Too many people come into marriage with expectations that cannot be filled.
