I’m a new Christian ask husband for reconciliation

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

MarcR

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
175
0
#41
Hello I have a question. Hope somebody can help me
I got married when I was 19 and my husband had a sugar mamma at the time I could have sworn he was unfaithful because of the way he was acting. I spoke to him yesterday and said if he had been unfaithful to me while we were together and he said no.
But he did confess he used women for money and gifts in exchange of I don’t know what. Since I just accepted Christ I’ve been reading the scripture and it says to reconcile he said that he could forgive me but we could never be together since it been 7 years since the last time I’ve seen him and that we are deferent people we both have committed adultery by now. He says he is also somewhat atheist but that he understands me. I’m so devastated. I don’t love him and I’m asking him to pretty much get back with me.he has said no. He was nice about it. I’m young and want children and to know that I must remain unmarried for the rest of my life has had me in tears for 3 days straight I can’t sleep I can’t eat. Please pray for me.ive met an awesome man who is willing to be unmarried and live a sexless life with me. He comes with me to church.
If you were left by an unbelieving spouse you are free to divorce and remarry.
 

forgivened1

Junior Member
May 1, 2017
5
0
0
#42
Congratulations on becoming a Christian- Give it TIME, Wait on the Lord... You've done your part asking for reconciliation, did you ask him for counseling? If you want to reconcile the marriage- then ask God to soften your husbands heart towards you and to heal your marriage, I will pray this with you-Sounds like you've done your part in seeking forgiveness and asking for reconciliation so now pray and wait, if you haven't divorced your husband then don't start up another relationship other than your relationship with Christ- give it time (maybe a year) and if your husband still doesn't want to reconcile or if he hasn't come to you to reconcile then make a decision then if you are to seek divorce and move on from there.... - but never forget we all have a void and the only thing that will fill it is God. Also, he is an atheist (you are married already and you can pray for his salvation- because that would be the 1st thing that would need to happen for reconciliation to happen- I prayed 13 years for my atheist husband to accept Christ- yet he continued to have affairs and our marriage ended- 7 years later I was able to forgive him- yet I had already moved on and re-married so no turning back now. Divorce is hated by God but so is many other sins- because He knows how much they hurt us, His children.

Praying for you both! God's will not our own.
 

stonesoffire

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2013
7,917
223
63
#44
Yes, I agree. There is someone making up stories, taking scripture to present a picture of a cruel god.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,580
2,057
113
63
Florida
#45
Hello I have a question. Hope somebody can help me
I got married when I was 19 and my husband had a sugar mamma at the time I could have sworn he was unfaithful because of the way he was acting. I spoke to him yesterday and said if he had been unfaithful to me while we were together and he said no.
But he did confess he used women for money and gifts in exchange of I don’t know what. Since I just accepted Christ I’ve been reading the scripture and it says to reconcile he said that he could forgive me but we could never be together since it been 7 years since the last time I’ve seen him and that we are deferent people we both have committed adultery by now. He says he is also somewhat atheist but that he understands me. I’m so devastated. I don’t love him and I’m asking him to pretty much get back with me.he has said no. He was nice about it. I’m young and want children and to know that I must remain unmarried for the rest of my life has had me in tears for 3 days straight I can’t sleep I can’t eat. Please pray for me.ive met an awesome man who is willing to be unmarried and live a sexless life with me. He comes with me to church.
Remaining unmarried for the rest of your life is a decision you must make. I can't really understand why you both married each other in the first place since you obviously never loved each other. Why would you want him back if you don't love him? That's obviously not a good environment to be raising children in. Now your saying that you are interested in an unmarried man who is willing to live with you and live a sexless life. The only good thing about that is there will be no children. Going to church with you is fine but he needs to confess his sin because he's lying to you. What you have described is never going to happen because this church guy has other things on his mind. You can cry a river now.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#46
So before I accepted Christ I had been in a relationship with the man that i I’m with now.
For many years I wanted to divorce my husband but to be honest we never got to it. Sound dumb but it’s the truth. When I realized that i was living in sin I told my boyfriend that i was going to be sleeping in delifferent rooms because of my believes.
He ended up living with me because he had nowhere to go. And i love him so much so I said he could stay with me. Now i have a condition that makes intimacy extremely painful. It hurts I can’t. When you have a pain like I do trust me sex becomes the last thing you want. I know it’s hard to believe but I have no need to lie. I understand that living with this man is not the most appropriate thing. But here we are and I’m trying to find a solution. He is coming to the lord. So I’m letting god take control.
I'm post menopausal. I get sex can hurt, so don't think I don't believe you. What I hope is your condition can be treated. (And I also get that this kind of stuff can be embarrassing as possible to talk to even if we're not face-to-face, so don't feel the need to explain it. Just know I do believe you. :))
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,824
121
63
#47
I’m so devastated. I don’t love him and I’m asking him to pretty much get back with me.he has said no.
Your husband is right, I wouldn't reconcile with someone who didn't love me either. Being a new Christian, your not obligated to abide by mistakes you've made in the past.. Your a new creature in Christ, the past is forgiven, move on.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#48
ive Been going on many forums and so many pastors say I must maintain unmarried or reconcile with my husband because god hates divorce. And if I do remarry I’ll become an adulterer. I told my significant other that there was a possibility I’d go back to my husband. I said that this was a process and that there was a chance I wouldn’t be able to remarry. He said he’d stay with me even if we couldn’t get married. Now I’m being realistic and maybe he has the best intentions ever but he might get tired of it. And if that’s the case so be it. But I do love him with all my heart. I shouldn’t be in this situation but here I am. And asking god for guidance and also trying to get guidance from fellow Christians. My husband seemed like he wanted a reconciliation but when I said I was a Christian he said no. Then he said to give him the divorce papers. Thank you for being kind. Even if you were to tell me something I don’t like if appreciate it. For explaining it differently.
You've been going on many forums and strangers are telling you they are pastors. Whole different thing than "many pastors" are telling you something.

And truthfully, even if some of those strangers are pastors, sometimes pastors don't know what they're talking about either. Many pastors have never studied the word, nor ever plan to.

I was raped back when I was 20. I had grown up Catholic, so I have the Ten Commandments down pat, Catholic style. (Catholics miss the one about "no graven images" for obvious reasons, and then split the last one in two, so covet wife is different than coveting donkey. But, hey, that's how I learned them, so it's hard for me to remember Protestant/Bible version now. lol) Catholic style, the sixth commandment is "thou shalt not commit adultery." I was 20, and still a virgin. AND, I had been born again when I was 16 so already knew the fifth one -- "Thou shalt not killed" was spelled out more by Jesus to include not calling my brother a fool. I had three brothers back then. (Another one since, but he wasn't around yet, so only three then.) You betcha! I've called my brothers fools, which means the only commandment at 20 I did not break was the adultery one.

So, I got raped. Raped. Is that adultery? Sex outside of marriage is adultery, and I had sex, even if I didn't want to, so was that adultery? Felt guilty about that for three years, so I asked a pastor. The pastor told me I had sinned when I was raped, even if I didn't mean to. I believe him for a year.

Then someone set me straight. Sin is something we do on purpose. I did not have sex on purpose or by accident. I was raped!

That pastor was an idiot!

Don't go believing pastors don't come in idiot-flavor too. They do! Part of the reason we need to study the word. There are a LOT of idiots, and some of them are Christians. We need God's word, not some idiot's word.

If need be, (and you definitely need be), study what the scripture says about divorce, because what you're being taught is wrong.