I dont love my wife...

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S

Squeeky

Guest
#81
I agree. My husband filed for divorce after domestic issue. I am in dusbelief as, we are both Christians. I simply wanted him to make me a priority in our marriage. He has transferredthe blame and refuses counseling.
 
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#82
I agree. My husband filed for divorce after domestic issue. I am in dusbelief as, we are both Christians. I simply wanted him to make me a priority in our marriage. He has transferredthe blame and refuses counseling.
That is hard. There is much more to this than it appears. Depression, identity, roles, emotions,
openness, history, hurt, pain, success, failure.

Some guys just give up and withdraw, or even are living another life under your nose, which is
now excused.

Family, friendship groups sometimes helps. For some people why they are married was never
sorted out, and admitting things in life are hard is just scapegoated onto I married the wrong
person. It is why forgiveness, understanding, compromise are part of a living relationship.

What can be very hard is as we get older things change, and sometimes we do not notice
or pay enough attention to these changes, and literally grow apart, to a point where we are
strangers.
 
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#83
Hey my name is Jesse ive been married a few months but ive been with this woman going on 14 yrs. Our relationship started on pure lust and we got pregnant within the first month being together. I didnt have a dad growing up he passed before I was born and hers was locked up her whole childhood. Needless to say I wanted my family bad on the account my dad passed before I met him, this is when the disrespect starts on her side all her insecurities from not having her dad there either start to reveal themself. Disrespect ,games ,cheating,manipulation now I wasnt no one perfect I cheated,neglected her I did this when she refuae to communicate and try to make me feel like I was the problem. Present day were married I feel like I deserve better than her, I also feel she capitalized on my vulnerability for family since she knows How much me being a father meant to me so she acted any wwhich she wanted to knowing I would work on my family. What do yall think..
This sounds like an explosion waiting to happen. You are right, we all exploit each other and our
weaknesses.

Jesus calls us to love each other. Love is about focusing on the good and ignoring the bad.
It is about encouraging the things that work and helping to forgive and heal the things that
fail.

There is so much here, that to start would not be appropriate.
The first place to start is forgiveness and vulnerability. It is always easy to say I do not
have love for x, because that is just a defensive cutting off of an individual. You need
to work through what works between you and what has failed.

It is always the hurt and pain that blinds us to what is good, and often leads to us
destroying the very thing we love the most.

Hope this helps.
 
S

Squeeky

Guest
#84
I concur. What if he is not following God as he should be?
 
1

1up

Guest
#85
Hey my name is Jesse ive been married a few months but ive been with this woman going on 14 yrs. Our relationship started on pure lust and we got pregnant within the first month being together. I didnt have a dad growing up he passed before I was born and hers was locked up her whole childhood. Needless to say I wanted my family bad on the account my dad passed before I met him, this is when the disrespect starts on her side all her insecurities from not having her dad there either start to reveal themself. Disrespect ,games ,cheating,manipulation now I wasnt no one perfect I cheated,neglected her I did this when she refuae to communicate and try to make me feel like I was the problem. Present day were married I feel like I deserve better than her, I also feel she capitalized on my vulnerability for family since she knows How much me being a father meant to me so she acted any wwhich she wanted to knowing I would work on my family. What do yall think..
You must participate in your own rescue. Its not souly her to blame. You need to get that out of your head. It takes two to tango. You made a choice and this is the result. Same with all my situations. Their will be a consequence if you leave her and leave her with the child. That is child support. Like motioned before you had 14 years. No one was holding your hand when you decided to have a child with her and no one told you to do that. You simply made your own decision. Now you have a kid. Now your at the point where you have no respect for each other. You two have been too busy disliking each other and getting one up on each other to actually enjoy each other. Now its 14 years gone. I highly suggest counseling and professional help.
 
S

Squeeky

Guest
#86
It just hurts so much to know that he does not love me after 24+yrs. I know that he has not made me a priority or given me the attention that I desire. I did not pressure him but let him do what he needed to accomplish his goals. I did not know there would be an expiration date to our marriage or verbal abuse
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,948
9,699
113
#87
Unfortunately there are no guarantees in marriage.
 
S

Squeeky

Guest
#88
Gee thanks for your unput5
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,948
9,699
113
#89
Gee thanks for your unput5

Actually that WAS input. :) And this is someone else's thread, so let's not derail it. Maybe you could start a thread of your own, if you're comfortable sharing more of your situation..
 
S

Squeeky

Guest
#90
I was replying to 1up.thx
 
1

1up

Guest
#92
Gee thanks for your unput5
Sorry I'm not going to sugar coat it for what looks like Jesse original quote. Sorry to hear about the situation. People change and Lady said it perfect. Marriage is not guaranteed. I guess in its own way I am going though my own situations. I can partly sympathize or relate. However when I see a guy talk like this what he wrote. Almost placing the blame all on you for making him do something against his will. Its an embarrassment to all real men out here. I wish I could have a family but it is not going to happen at this time. No one made him choose in that moment to have a child with you. He simply choose. Sounds like he is placing blame for the scape goat. It is Irritating for me to hear men or should I say boys talk like this. All I wanted was a family of the normal Jones's. But that's my problem not yours.

Simmer!! I would love to hear your side of the story. Participate in your own rescue.
 
Z

Zammer

Guest
#93
What I am kinda missing in here is where is the talk about the child? Dont you care for that babe? It shouldnt be about you anymore, not what you want and think you deserve. It should be about that child. You should be thinking and working out that the child gets what it needs and deserves. Which is love and a family. This baby is a part of you and needs you now. You should build your relationship on that. I dont give a dime about what you two say because your just making up excuses for doing the wrong things but that Child needs a Mother AND a Father. You two should grow up and pray that God brings you through and heals your marriage because with that Child, he gave his blessing on the marriage.
thanks for this comment - I totally agree. I also suggest both if you go to counseling and then focus on making a decent and loving home for your child. Don't perpetuate this fatherless thing. Sounds like you come from a long line of issues and sadness, but try to not dwell on that, try to overcome.
 
Z

Zammer

Guest
#94
What I am kinda missing in here is where is the talk about the child? Dont you care for that babe? It shouldnt be about you anymore, not what you want and think you deserve. It should be about that child. You should be thinking and working out that the child gets what it needs and deserves. Which is love and a family. This baby is a part of you and needs you now. You should build your relationship on that. I dont give a dime about what you two say because your just making up excuses for doing the wrong things but that Child needs a Mother AND a Father. You two should grow up and pray that God brings you through and heals your marriage because with that Child, he gave his blessing on the marriage.

thanks for this comment - I totally agree. I also suggest both if you go to counseling and then focus on making a decent and loving home for your child. Don't perpetuate this fatherless thing. Sounds like you come from a long line of issues and sadness, but try to not dwell on that, try to overcome.