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K
Quote "Our relationship started on pure lust and we got pregnant within the first month being together. "
You dont need to be told this wasn't a smart move. But it comes with a responsibility now,you have a child and that changes everything.
Quote "Needless to say I wanted my family bad on the account my dad passed before I met him, this is when the disrespect starts on her side all her insecurities from not having her dad there either start to reveal themself. Disrespect ,games ,cheating,manipulation now I wasnt no one perfect I cheated,neglected her I did this when she refuae to communicate and try to make me feel like I was the problem."
So you were both had broken families and made bad decisions,together,because of it. Both of you are responsible for those decisions.
Quote "Present day were married I feel like I deserve better than her"
In what way do you feel you deserve better? You're both guilty of cheating and disrespect. Perhaps she feels the same about you. Don't you think this is a rather immature way of thinking? Have you gone for counseling,talked with your pastor,have you tried anything to save the marriage?
Quote"I also feel she capitalized on my vulnerability for family since she knows How much me being a father meant to me so she acted any wwhich she wanted to knowing I would work on my family."
Have you talked to her about that? Thats a rather judgmental statement. Did she trick you in some way? If not, you willingly had sex with her and have to accept the consequences. If you think replacing her with another woman will solve all your problems you are very immature. You said you wanted advice, here it is, start working on YOURSELF. That sounds mean but I will tell you this, you need to take your eyes off her flaws and faults and work on your own relationship with God. Perhaps if you became a Godly man that she could trust and lean on you would see a different wife. You leave her to God and work on yourself. If you dont no relationship you have will work. Im not being nasty,Im just dealing you the straight truth. Are you mature enough to take it?
Because he didn't love her when he married her. He doesn't love her now. In the entire 14 years he hasn't loved her. He ain't gonna start now.. They've been together for 14 years. Their relationship began with pure lust, and those are HIS words, not mine.. There's never been any love, and never will be. There is also no respect and no trust.
D
I agree with you. Sometimes divorce is the best thing to do. The question is when? Can you think of any reason divorce is the answer just months into the marriage?
In my mind, there is Before-Wedding and After-Wedding. I have never met anyone who got married and didn't hit some surprises not known before hand, including those who shacked up before marrying. So, yeah, some shockers come along. The answer isn't QUIT! The answer is work through them. If that doesn't work, then consider divorce. BUT at least try first.
Number one thing I've learned about marriage over the decades -- what he can't do and I can't do becomes downright miraculous often enough because God can do!
In my mind, there is Before-Wedding and After-Wedding. I have never met anyone who got married and didn't hit some surprises not known before hand, including those who shacked up before marrying. So, yeah, some shockers come along. The answer isn't QUIT! The answer is work through them. If that doesn't work, then consider divorce. BUT at least try first.
Number one thing I've learned about marriage over the decades -- what he can't do and I can't do becomes downright miraculous often enough because God can do!
D
Did God go on vacation? I know this started out all wrong. I am "the second wife," so I really do get how wrong wrong can get. But the guy at the pool was already blind, the woman who touched Jesus' coat was already issuing blood, and Lazarus was already dead. God doesn't quit just because something starts out wrong.
John loved his first wife, even when she tried to kill him. He did the research to find out what God's will was. God's will was for him to stay even after she cheated on him. He did. God told him to quit the second time she cheated. If he hadn't put in full effort, I wouldn't be second wife now.
And I can tell you so many reasons I absolutely know that disaster of a marriage still mattered.
I don't know if this marriage will make it or not. It's important to see it through, or the only thing he learns is to walk out whenever it gets hard. You know my life. Where would John or I be if either one of us learned to walk out when it got hard?
John loved his first wife, even when she tried to kill him. He did the research to find out what God's will was. God's will was for him to stay even after she cheated on him. He did. God told him to quit the second time she cheated. If he hadn't put in full effort, I wouldn't be second wife now.
And I can tell you so many reasons I absolutely know that disaster of a marriage still mattered.
I don't know if this marriage will make it or not. It's important to see it through, or the only thing he learns is to walk out whenever it gets hard. You know my life. Where would John or I be if either one of us learned to walk out when it got hard?
This is the complete antithesis of the core of christianity. You may have never known your earthly father, but you'll always have your spiritual father to turn to. Don't allow someone who has their own unresolved issues to sit in judgement of you in this context. Everyone at some point in their life is lost in one way or the other. We as Christians are here to show you the word of the Lord through our fruits and to inspire you back to your heavenly Father, Christ.
It's sad that you come to a christian forum, and hear that kind of arm chair ignorance from someone who posts scriptures to no extent, but, such is the path they're on.
The good news, is that if you're a believer, if you've come to Christ, there is no hurt that He can't resolve. There is nothing in your past that is beyond the healing that our Father can provide. I'm really sorry about your past, but I urge you to take your pains from those experiences to Christ, starting with this quote as used by Corrie Ten Boom who survived world war II.
"There is No Pit so Deep That He is Not Deeper still!" following with: “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).
It's sad that you come to a christian forum, and hear that kind of arm chair ignorance from someone who posts scriptures to no extent, but, such is the path they're on.
The good news, is that if you're a believer, if you've come to Christ, there is no hurt that He can't resolve. There is nothing in your past that is beyond the healing that our Father can provide. I'm really sorry about your past, but I urge you to take your pains from those experiences to Christ, starting with this quote as used by Corrie Ten Boom who survived world war II.
"There is No Pit so Deep That He is Not Deeper still!" following with: “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).
