Is bad to not want children?

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Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
12,893
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Single female expresses personal opinion on personal matter.

Single male, using fallacious reasoning, tells single female that said opinion is "Wrong".

Internet shakes its head.
 
Nov 26, 2019
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Single female expresses personal opinion on personal matter.

Single male, using fallacious reasoning, tells single female that said opinion is "Wrong".

Internet shakes its head.
Lol this made me laugh, isn't it what all this is, posting on public forums 😂 all we ever get is personal opinions.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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Arizona
And to be fair I did ask for opinions on my opinion, so that’s understandable.

And I suppose @Alby I should go a bit deeper as you did as well when I asked. For me my not wanting children possibly doesn’t have anything to do with like overpopulation or anything of that nature. It’s not an economic thing either really. It’s more my own personality.

I have OCD and anxiety with panic attacks at times. I’m also not as mature as others my age would be. Those being the case I don’t know if I could handle the mental and emotional stress of having and raising a child. My mental state and sometimes symptoms of that can be made far worse with sleep deprivation. And I’ve never had to deal with that kind of stress, and I don’t know if I would be unintentionally on the emotional/verbal abusive side to my kid. Which I would never ever want.

So you see I’ve thought on it quite a bit. I’m sure there are some who should have maybe thought before having kids as far as if they would treat their children well and lovingly.

I do have to say by the by I trust the Lord to raise up fellow believers from all sides of the world either from any kids I may have or anywhere.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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Bearing and raising children is a virtuous thing for married women. Paul refers to Adam and Eve, husbands and wives, and says, 'but she shall be saved in childbearing." He wrote to Timothy that he should exhort younger widows to marry and bear children. He including raising children as a characteristic of widows who were widows indeed who should be put on the list to be honored with provision from the church.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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Gracie, this earth is already over-populated. Babies are born (and aborted) every day.. many are given up for adoption, some sold into sex trafficking as they get to be teenagers. All ppl care about these days is getting their nut off, and not using protection.. so yes, there ARE too many babies already.
What would you say to someone who said there were too many people like you on earth? Too many people your age? Too many women your age?

That sure sounds really bad-- too many babies. "There are too many people like you around." What's the next step in the line of reasoning. Getting rid of the group that has too many?
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,270
2,052
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Is it bad to not want children?


No.

It may be good and even wise depending on your circumstances, maybe neutral as well.

(though.... there are definitely "bad" reasons to not want children just as there are bad reasons to want them)
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
9,806
2,028
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Alby,
what an ignorant and blatant 'baiter' you are = shame on you!!!
it's obvious that you are a 'troll' and definitely do not respect women of God...
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,927
1,054
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Arizona
Alby,
what an ignorant and blatant 'baiter' you are = shame on you!!!
it's obvious that you are a 'troll' and definitely do not respect women of God...
Easy friend, easy. I appreciate it but I know I asked for opinions on the idea as well. *pats hand gratefully*
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,270
2,052
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And to be fair I did ask for opinions on my opinion, so that’s understandable.

And I suppose @Alby I should go a bit deeper as you did as well when I asked. For me my not wanting children possibly doesn’t have anything to do with like overpopulation or anything of that nature. It’s not an economic thing either really. It’s more my own personality.

I have OCD and anxiety with panic attacks at times. I’m also not as mature as others my age would be. Those being the case I don’t know if I could handle the mental and emotional stress of having and raising a child. My mental state and sometimes symptoms of that can be made far worse with sleep deprivation. And I’ve never had to deal with that kind of stress, and I don’t know if I would be unintentionally on the emotional/verbal abusive side to my kid. Which I would never ever want.

So you see I’ve thought on it quite a bit. I’m sure there are some who should have maybe thought before having kids as far as if they would treat their children well and lovingly.

I do have to say by the by I trust the Lord to raise up fellow believers from all sides of the world either from any kids I may have or anywhere.
For the record, your honesty and self reflection and care for an unborn child here shows maturity as a daughter... of God... even if you don't feel ready to be mother
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
9,806
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One,
we are most assuredly aware of your wisdom in so many of the 'threads that need it'...
 

EleventhHour

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
4,365
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Because it's unnatural to not want children. It speaks to a mindset that I do not trust or like.
I am not sure if it is unnatural... I see it more of a product of social conditioning.

I wish though you provided a more biblical approach or line of reasoning rather than just giving personal opinion on the matter.

There is a lot to consider, but I do agree just on an observational level married women and men that decided they did not want kids that I have been friends with over the years when the door closed they did have regret.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,270
2,052
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I am not sure if it is unnatural... I see it more of a product of social conditioning.
It can be. It can also be wisdom and lead by a loving desire to not put a child into danger.
Maybe one does not want children because health issues that would place her or the childs health at risk.

Maybe one couple does not earn enough money and time off work for either of the two parents is currently not in the cards if they wish to build a foundation for a family.

Maybe one individual was not ready for marriage until they were much older and never even considered the option until they were in thier late 40's with a husband/wife the same age.

....Could even be a desire to spend more time in fellowship, or witnessing and helping others.....


I wish though you provided a more biblical approach or line of reasoning rather than just giving personal opinion on the matter.

There is a lot to consider, but I do agree just on an observational level married women and men that decided they did not want kids that I have been friends with over the years when the door closed they did have regret.
Though I agree many may regret a choice they made when it is no longer an option for them... I think the opposite is also true... Where an aged couple has no children, or regrets in regards to that fact.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,125
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I believe that God calls to different people differently. One of my good friends does not want children and it makes sense. She has had to survive a lot, including jumping out of a third story window to escape arson. She had a lot of years of recovery.
The other has four children, and it fulfils her. Who is right? Both. I wanted to be a mom with no particular number in mind. I lost one and then had one and lost two. There was sorrow but then found out I couldn't have a child, at least according to the medical profession. Instead of a lifetime of grieving I am so grateful for this miracle. God put such love in my heart for this precious child. I guess my point, in my case, it is all relative.
You asked if it is bad to not want children. It is your truth. It is honest. You don't have that desire. How could there be a judgement on you for what God has not put into your heart? If you wanted to hurt children then that would be bad. If you had children and neglected them or made them feel broken by rejecting them, then that is bad. Not being drawn to motherhood is just your reality.
Myself, I'd rather be a bouncer at a biker bar than help out in the nursery (not that that is the only other option). I will help out with almost any job in women's ministry. That is more my wheelhouse. I don't go crazy for other people's children. Once again, not a character flaw. We can't all be the same.
Be who you were meant to be and shine as the amazing woman who is God's beloved daughter. Hugs.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
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And you'll notice that not having children is only pushed in white christian countries. Why do you think that is? our birth rates are already plummeting and in third world countries the birth rate is astronomical. You're falling for propaganda if you choose to not have children. Not being able to is a different story. If I was on a date and a woman said she doesn't WANT children I would politely get up and leave.

Here is a propaganda poster in London urging white people to get STERILIZED!

View attachment 207438 EVIL!
Yeah, just avoid posting too much in the BDF, that could make you sterile too
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
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And to the Op, mindsets about that might change when or if you choose to get into a relationship. But not wanting them right now while you are not in one is fine.
 

EleventhHour

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
4,365
5,007
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It can be. It can also be wisdom and lead by a loving desire to not put a child into danger.
Maybe one does not want children because health issues that would place her or the childs health at risk.

Maybe one couple does not earn enough money and time off work for either of the two parents is currently not in the cards if they wish to build a foundation for a family.

Maybe one individual was not ready for marriage until they were much older and never even considered the option until they were in thier late 40's with a husband/wife the same age.

....Could even be a desire to spend more time in fellowship, or witnessing and helping others.....




Though I agree many may regret a choice they made when it is no longer an option for them... I think the opposite is also true... Where an aged couple has no children, or regrets in regards to that fact.
Yes I understand... having had a career, and deriving much joy from it and all else that comes with it, I just know that having a child far surpasses anything this world has to offer... and just closing the door on that to me is sad. (just talking in general here)

Ultimately our instruction for life comes from God and not the culture ...I think that is my general point.
I do understand it is not a black and white issue.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,270
2,052
113
Yes I understand... having had a career, and deriving much joy from it and all else that comes with it, I just know that having a child far surpasses anything this world has to offer... and just closing the door on that to me is sad. (just talking in general here)

Ultimately our instruction for life comes from God and not the culture ...I think that is my general point.
I do understand it is not a black and white issue.
Well said... especially about children... they really are something special.... we could all learn a bit from them😂

I do not know if I will have a child by blood.... but if my future wife agrees with me I consider adoption equally as beautiful as childbirth....
(I've been adopted..... by God😁)

If she didn't feel ready when I did... or ever... I would not be sad or judge her harshly or regret choosing her...
 

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
Nov 10, 2019
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To elaborate on what I said earlier, I don't think it's wrong to not want children. I don't want kids, but throughout my life, people have always told me "Oh, you'll change your mind when you get older" or something like that. Well....I'm 32 and I haven't changed my mind one bit when it comes to having kids. I still don't want them and I probably never will.


Everyone's different and people want different things. Some people want to start a family and others don't. Nothing wrong with that. That's the beauty of life. No one is quite the same and you get to make your own decisions.


So....that's my two cents on the matter.
 

LittleMermaid

Well-known member
Apr 23, 2019
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I get home tired from work. I don’t know how moms and dads do it to get home to take care of their children.
Also, many millennials don’t have money to raise kids. I’m 30 and still live at home because I can’t afford moving out. I see many of my peers in the same situation or worse. Many are saddled with student loans. I think it’s wise to consider if one can afford children before having them.