Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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I_am_Canadian

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Dec 8, 2014
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Well it seems like my engaged cousins parents are headed for divorce like her fiance (his are already divorced)

I don't know what the answer is. I think you go all in at first and then find its not what you expect after a couple of years. I don't know what the expectation actually is. Maybe you get sick of each other. If one has to give up their homeland and friends (forsaking all others) and then finds out children are even more trouble and the house is falling apart because nobody can afford to repair it then that's not much of a life together is it.

After you've taken out your frustrations on each other and nearly killed each other in the process I guess thats the only bearable solution. Most children don't like it when their parent cheats or hurts the other parent or has to witness violence, argument and then they don't do anything about it.
Or they forget their vows, to honour and obey each other for better or worse, in sickness and in health until death do them part. Marriage is a sacrifice it's a commitment to love someone more than yourself. It become duty and honour to put others above yourself, marriage is not for the selfish.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Or they forget their vows, to honour and obey each other for better or worse, in sickness and in health until death do them part. Marriage is a sacrifice it's a commitment to love someone more than yourself. It become duty and honour to put others above yourself, marriage is not for the selfish.
my mum said to me that my uncle threatened to throw himself out of a 40 storey building if my grandma didnt let him marry my aunt.

?!
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
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my mum said to me that my uncle threatened to throw himself out of a 40 storey building if my grandma didnt let him marry my aunt.

?!
Well that certainly would qualify as self sacrifice if he was that devoted to her. He must have really loved her if he was willing to go to that extreme to be with her.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Well that certainly would qualify as self sacrifice if he was that devoted to her. He must have really loved her if he was willing to go to that extreme to be with her.
what no thats idiotic and crazy!
 

Lanolin

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He threatened to kill my cousin (his daughter) and now she has a protection order and PTSD from it for when he beat her up as a baby.
 

Shepherd

Active member
May 11, 2022
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Too many put all the emphasis on the "wedding" instead of the vows and the marriage. Then after "Daddy" has spent 4 or 5 figures on paying for that one day event, when the inevitable conflicts arise, the wife calls it quits, divorces hubby and takes everything he's got including the kids. Those are the only two main reasons marriage is expensive. When, if they had put God first from the beginning and the duration, they would still be together and their kids wouldn't be living in a fatherless home.
 

Shepherd

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May 11, 2022
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That's the way of the World, but should not be for Christians. And what the World also calls "cheating" the Bible calls ''adultery''. But according to the Word of God, ''cheating'' (defrauding) is the act of one spouse refusing the other in the bedroom. The way the World does marriage is expensive; but it doesn't have to be if our priorities are right. I Think our greatest expense was the rings, about $1500 in 1985. My bride made all her bridesmaid's dresses and wore her mothers wedding dress. She was beautiful, and still is :)
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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well nobody did because these things you aren't supposed to tell.

And also, if you refuse your spouse in the bedroom because um they hurt you IN BED then apparently thats 'defrauding'. Or they might snore.

most marriages you do not marry your DAD! Your spouse isn't supposed to pay for the wedding, its meant to be the parents after all they are the ones giving you away. Your responsibility as spouse is to pay for or contribute to the new home.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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I don't think many people have time to make a dress and bridesmaids as well. Too busy working other jobs, where you can just pay for a dress.

Welcome to the 21st century. Its a totally different world.
 

Shepherd

Active member
May 11, 2022
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I don't think many people have time to make a dress and bridesmaids as well. Too busy working other jobs, where you can just pay for a dress.

Welcome to the 21st century. Its a totally different world.
Back in 1985, when we got married, my fatherinlaw was in the middle of bankruptcy proceedings and didn't pay for one cent of our wedding. So, since my bride wanted five bridesmaids, that's what she did.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
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I don't think many people have time to make a dress and bridesmaids as well. Too busy working other jobs, where you can just pay for a dress.

Welcome to the 21st century. Its a totally different world.
Who says a wedding has to be expensive?
Get the minister, use a relative's house for outdoor ceremony, pull dresses and suits out of the closet, some dollar store decorations, and have a few relatives prepare the meals at home.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Who says a wedding has to be expensive?
Get the minister, use a relative's house for outdoor ceremony, pull dresses and suits out of the closet, some dollar store decorations, and have a few relatives prepare the meals at home.
Never been to a backyard wedding, most peoples backyards are full of mud atm cos of the storm. Be interesting though, a wedding amongst the washing lines.

You cant control the weather though, and its likely it will be windy, rainy, too sunny or combination of all three in one day.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
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Never been to a backyard wedding, most peoples backyards are full of mud atm cos of the storm. Be interesting though, a wedding amongst the washing lines.

You cant control the weather though, and its likely it will be windy, rainy, too sunny or combination of all three in one day.
oh ok
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Actually I have been to a backyard wedding, but it was not the relatives house, but a house thats has gardens that are open to visitors so they may have hired it. We didnt go inside the house. The bride walked down the driveway and they had a spit roast caterers onsite under a tent. I liked that wedding it was my neighbours.

The rain held off and her dad said it was because I was there lol

One of my workmates had a wedding actually two a hindu ceremony and a church one we were invited to the hindu one (many came in saris) it was meant to be outside but the weather was doubtful so they had indoors, in park grounds. There was plenty of indian food.

Theres no word on my cousins wedding yet, shes just secured a full time job so she might now be able to pull of a wedding when she has income.
Her mum has decided to give her dad a second chance, so hes not going to jail after all. I suppose hes on good behaviour now. I think losing your temper is not a good thing in a marriage and taking it out on your wife definite no no - we all have a thing that maybe makes us mad but some of the common frustrations in life are not to blame your spouse for.

marriage is not expensive in that sense...but divorce is. Having two homes to pay for instead of one far apart from each other and the cost and time for transferring your children from one to the other must add up.
 
Jan 6, 2024
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I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?
To me, marriage is for the purpose that things are done in the light and you receive a blessing from the servants of God and the church. That said, at the beginning of the church service on Sunday this can be done and it is as good a wedding as one done costing millions of dollars. Also, not much is mentored of weddings in the Bible while it was a big thing in the Jewish society
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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To me, marriage is for the purpose that things are done in the light and you receive a blessing from the servants of God and the church. That said, at the beginning of the church service on Sunday this can be done and it is as good a wedding as one done costing millions of dollars. Also, not much is mentored of weddings in the Bible while it was a big thing in the Jewish society
wedding at Cana where Jesus turned water into wine?

Yea Ive never seen a weddng done at the beginning of a church service on Sunday. I think most people have one where they invite all their families and have a big reception on a Saturday. Maybe theres a discount for other days of the week.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,427
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To me, marriage is for the purpose that things are done in the light and you receive a blessing from the servants of God and the church. That said, at the beginning of the church service on Sunday this can be done and it is as good a wedding as one done costing millions of dollars. Also, not much is mentored of weddings in the Bible while it was a big thing in the Jewish society
Give me marriage or give me death... lol
 

CarriePie

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Jan 7, 2024
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Oklahoma
I have no experience with marriage as I have never been married and have only attended one wedding, but if I were to get married I'd prefer it to be outdoors where there are birds and critters. At my favorite state park maybe. Nothing big and fancy...except for how we feel about Christ and each other. In other words, not expensive.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Well the big news in my country is that our former PM and her fiance finally got married after putting it off for 2 years (thanks to covid) on the weekend. Their flowergirl was their 5 year old daughter, and they had it in a vineyard estate. They had a marquee and outside and it was reported that they had sausage rolls at the reception.

Their first wedding date had to be cancelled and the venue didn't like that they cancelled, it seemed they didn't want to pay the $5000 cancellation fee. There was some kind of disagreement with the chef. They had a celeb chef in to cater, and designers (who may have been friends) do the bride's dress. Flowers were done by a company and it was also stated in the papers what they wore and who made it and who did the bride's hair. lol

But on a sad note anti-vaxers tried to disrupt their wedding and Australian paps tried to paparazzi the wedding by flying their noisy helicopter over. I just reckon leave alone and if they want the publicity they can just put out pictures on social media themselves. After all the entire public wasn't invited to the wedding who can cater for that many people??