Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#41
I wouldn't expect people to pay for anything. Even transportation/lodging is something I've considered for close friends/family but if people want to bring food I'm not opposed to that :p
How are you going to pay for it all...are you going to save up. Or work seven years or something before you have enough money for the do.
How many guests would you invite...?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#42
To book a restaurant and have dinner say its at least $40 a head for a decent meal or banquet. I think this is what most restauarants would charge. So if you have 100 guests it would be $4000 dollars just for the banquet.

I mean you want to have more than just three courses right. In chinese restuarants youd have at least 12 courses.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
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#43
How are you going to pay for it all...are you going to save up. Or work seven years or something before you have enough money for the do.
How many guests would you invite...?
Can save a lot of money by knowing a cook and just having an open space. I'd probably use the property I plan to purchase and most likely wouldn't move in til after I'm married anyway. Kind of a win win. Something like an open house and new chapter.

Really I'd like to start a camp of sorts and starting with the correct property is a something I have to lean in on whether I want to or not.

Tis a WIP. I just figured I'd follow the shower concept.

I'm not sure on the time frame. I'm still trying to figure out what career path to take. I've done a lot of random work. Really it's just figuring out what the Lord would like for me to do and I've heard to wait (which is frustrating). I like radio and I think I have a flair for business but Psalm 127 always stops me. I don't think the Lord is the biggest fan of money and the excesses that follow (at least to some extent) and so being patient is critical for me. Not making it my own show with just a "nod" in his direction so to speak.

There's still a lot of dying to self that I have on my menu and until I find a partner a lot of this is moot ;)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#44
Can save a lot of money by knowing a cook and just having an open space. I'd probably use the property I plan to purchase and most likely wouldn't move in til after I'm married anyway. Kind of a win win. Something like an open house and new chapter.

Really I'd like to start a camp of sorts and starting with the correct property is a something I have to lean in on whether I want to or not.

Tis a WIP. I just figured I'd follow the shower concept.

I'm not sure on the time frame. I'm still trying to figure out what career path to take. I've done a lot of random work. Really it's just figuring out what the Lord would like for me to do and I've heard to wait (which is frustrating). I like radio and I think I have a flair for business but Psalm 127 always stops me. I don't think the Lord is the biggest fan of money and the excesses that follow (at least to some extent) and so being patient is critical for me. Not making it my own show with just a "nod" in his direction so to speak.

There's still a lot of dying to self that I have on my menu and until I find a partner a lot of this is moot ;)
Whats a WIP and shower concept?

I do a radio show...

As for menus. If I was having a wedding...seafood. I love seafood. I remember going to my pastor daughters wedding, and one of my friends just gorged herself on oysters the whole night. It was a huge island wedding, so lots of musical performances and of course mountains of food. But everyone contributes. I mean when you come from a family of cooks, you dont need to ask other people to do catering you all do it together. And they will want to put it all on for you. Its just people who dont have families who would support their children getting married that would just probably either say you pay or we'll pay (if we have the money) like a rent--a-wedding.

People have always put on parties and feasts themselves Its just recent times its become a huge industry I suppose. But I guess its a lot of work for people. If you doing out of love then its all good but if your family are opposing your wedding life will be difficult. I have known a few people say to me they never want to be married cos their own parents marriages were terrible. They couldnt face organising a wedding because of all the fighting in their family. After all if you are getting married you do marry into a family, theres no real getting way from them...unless you elope.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
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#45
Marriage and weddings don't have to be expensive. It is what you make of it. I think people struggle with the fear of commitment and that the excuse of it being too expensive is just easier to say. Some may not even realize they have this fear.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#46
Marriage and weddings don't have to be expensive. It is what you make of it. I think people struggle with the fear of commitment and that the excuse of it being too expensive is just easier to say. Some may not even realize they have this fear.
Yea I reckon if you going to do it you will do it.
Even if just going to the registry office and the ceremony is over in half an hour.
 

Zan

Member
Mar 15, 2019
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#47
My sister had a fairly lavish wedding at a huge church with hundreds of guests, followed by a long honeymoon in Oruba. My poor dad ending up funding several tens of thousands of dollars for it.

Personally, if I were to get married, it would be a small ceremony because I think grandiosity in such matters is excessive and ego-driven.

Ultimately, you spend what's available. There's no law or moral saying you have to spend X dollars for it to be valid.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#48
Was thinking of the wedding in Cana as was mentioned in this weeks sermon, how Mary told Jesus to fix the problem of having no wine.

The preacher said in those days weddings could last for 7 days.

I think maybe you have to be married by faith that your Heavenly Father will provide if your own parents cant or dont want to provide.

What about from parents persepctive would you pay for your son or daughters wedding ceremonies? Why or why not? In revelation we are all invited to the wedding supper of the lamb. Who provides it certainly not the lamb, and not the bride, but our Heavenly Father. With lots of angels helping.

Of course we do our bit by being dressed for the occasion, but even then God provides the clothes.
 
Mar 21, 2019
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#49
Yea why not just have at church, why the huge deal.
Youve got the rest of your lives to spend together anyway. Save the money for the honeymoon.
If the parents cant afford to pay then the witnesses surely could chip in and throw a party.

I dont understand the extravanagance that would bankrupt a couple, esp a young couple starting out, who may not even have proper employment yet.

Why arent churches having a minsitry for this just like funerals.
Good idea, but first, you'll have to clear it with the Church Board! :eek:
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#50
Good idea, but first, you'll have to clear it with the Church Board! :eek:
They will take at least six months to reach a decision. I think at the registry office you can just marry on the day you decide. Not that ive ever done it but I was reading this book about a lady who decided to marry her partner, so she could stay in the country as her visa was running out. She dragged him to the courthouse and they got married in 2 hours.
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
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Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#51
Marriage and weddings don't have to be expensive. It is what you make of it. I think people struggle with the fear of commitment and that the excuse of it being too expensive is just easier to say. Some may not even realize they have this fear.
That is the key issue. They can't or won't commit. Some people that have bad experiences with a spouse look at marriage as jinxed. :cool:
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#52
That is the key issue. They can't or won't commit. Some people that have bad experiences with a spouse look at marriage as jinxed. :cool:
Funny the word 'commit'
People say others 'commit suicide' but nobody ever says people 'commit marriage'
And marriage by committee...never gonna happen if run by a Church board. Sigh.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
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#53
If I were to marry I would elope and then have a party afterwards with family and friends.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#54
If I were to marry I would elope and then have a party afterwards with family and friends.
Yea its more expensive if you say a party is a wedding then if its just a party. If you hiring anything.
They caterers and venues put the prices up for weddings.
 
R

Rasputin_OZ

Guest
#55
Jesus spoke to the woman at the well who had five husbands, and the one she is living with, is not her husband...so am wondering who the guy could be. Her brother?

Obviously she could afford to be married, after all she did it five times.
Sex outside of MArriage is Fornication.

Doesn't need to be a huge ceremony but calls for the commitment to be done before witnesses. You are not married because of the sex. You are married due to the commitment ceremony in front of witnesses.

For the couple you spoke of they should have told the pastor they are in same house but not in same bed. and i know many churches that would marry them .

If you dont repsect each other enough to do committment ceremony then you really shouldnt be together.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
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#56
It can be done on the cheap. All you need is a license some states may require a blood test, rings are optional and you can go to a justice of the peace or even notary publics can marry you. It could be done for a couple hundred dollars.

It is the big showy costly weddings that are dreamed of that empty the wallet.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
9,367
3,451
113
#57
Sex outside of MArriage is Fornication.

Doesn't need to be a huge ceremony but calls for the commitment to be done before witnesses. You are not married because of the sex. You are married due to the commitment ceremony in front of witnesses.

For the couple you spoke of they should have told the pastor they are in same house but not in same bed. and i know many churches that would marry them .

If you dont repsect each other enough to do committment ceremony then you really shouldnt be together.
Too late they already have a 9 year old son, but they not having any more children.

One of my friends also says in her church there a unmarried couples there with children, and everyone is tired of the facade why dont they just get married. The church would gladly put it all on for free.

It seems to be always the guy thats the one dragging his feet. Doesnt want to make an honest woman of his partner. What is it with these men huh?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#58
It can be done on the cheap. All you need is a license some states may require a blood test, rings are optional and you can go to a justice of the peace or even notary publics can marry you. It could be done for a couple hundred dollars.

It is the big showy costly weddings that are dreamed of that empty the wallet.
..or you could just do the Las Vegas thing like we did. I also enjoyed the complementary Thanksgiving Day dinner on our wedding day at our own special table at the Hilton located on the Strip because we got married on their property. They even provided the two bellhops and maid for witnesses. It was almost like they paid us to get married there.
 
Jun 4, 2019
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Windsor Ontario
#59
I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?
Tell them that they are living in sin and to repent and get baptized and stop sinning
 
Jun 4, 2019
162
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Windsor Ontario
#60
Too late they already have a 9 year old son, but they not having any more children.

One of my friends also says in her church there a unmarried couples there with children, and everyone is tired of the facade why dont they just get married. The church would gladly put it all on for free.

It seems to be always the guy thats the one dragging his feet. Doesnt want to make an honest woman of his partner. What is it with these men huh?
Tell them to repent get baptized and stop sinning