Earlier this year, I decided to lose my baby weight and college weight. My husband was supportive, but said he didn't want to get his hopes up because I'd said this kind of thing before, but then given up. This time, I was determined. Over the last seven months, I've succeeded in losing 30 pounds. I now weigh 125. I'd said during the time that I wanted to get down to 115. My husband wanted that too. However, the more I lost, the more the pounds slowed down until they just stopped, and I couldn't lose another pound no matter what I did. At that point (about a week ago) I decided that I was much healthier, happy with how I looked, and could reasonably maintain my weight. I decided to stop actively trying to lose, and maintain the weight I was at. When I told my husband, though, he kind of went ballistic. He said that I'd promised him that I'd get to 115, that I'd lied to him about how much I was going to lose, that I'd gotten his hopes up for nothing, and that I was definitely going to gain it all back. I lost 30 pounds and he's acting like I haven't lost any. I don't know what to do. Should I keep trying to lose that last 10, even if I don't want to? Should I just let him be mad? Should I try to convince him to see it my way? Help!
Whenever I hear of people obsessed with weight-loss, it always brings to mind this ad I saw that says: "Look good, feel good." Basically saying that if you loose weight you'll look good... and that should make you feel good.
But just as I asked myself the first time I saw that ad, the question I ask myself is: "Shouldn't it be the other way around? I mean, shouldn't it be an 'inside-out' thing instead?"
I do appreciate the fact that someone with nothing but darkness inside will only rely on the outside to get the light he/she needs within. That is: They depend 100% on the outside.
However for someone who has got Christ inside (the Light of the World, as well as the spring of water of Life), this person should never depend on the outside. And their outside beauty will always come as a result of the light shining from within.
Now, to address the specific scenario of you and your hubby: We come in a relationship to share something with the other person. It's a natural instinct for us humans. We always want to know what it is that we're bringing at the table... because we don't wanna feel like we're coming empty handed; just to receive without giving; just to get our needs fulfilled without fulfilling the other person's needs (or at least a little bit).
We always aim to "contribute" in some way to our partner's life in a relationship. The question is: What do you consider to be your contribution to your husband's life? If you always tell yourself "I have nothing else to give, except for
my body" Your hubby will sense it. Even if you never said it out loud. He will sense it and he will want/expect you to deliver... while you yourself are always under pressure to come up with twists, lots of creativity to make your body (your offering) more interesting and/or attractive for him.
What I wonder is how long can you keep that up? I mean, how much "twists" can a woman's body endure? Today you're still in the "weight-loss" episodes, but who knows; tomorrow you'll probably move on to "implants"... and maybe by the time you enter the botox stages (for your face), scientists will have come up with a whole bunch of other things... all of which will still put pressure on you; (probably causing heart problems as well, due to stress, and who knows, maybe the weight is coming back again). How many battles can you fight at the same time? Probably all of them... in which case I wish you good luck.
However on the other hand, if you focus all that creativity to your soul instead... that is; come up with all those twists in the views you share with him, and somehow manage to always "intrigue" him; always amaze him with you ideas, I can promise you that it will be much easier because, rather than the "body" which relies mostly on scientists (and probably in danger of getting poisoned), your soul relies entirely on Christ who lives in you. You don't need to do anything; basically all you have to do is give him your mouth and He (the Lord) will speak through it. And of course everyone else will praise you because they attribute those thoughts to you, except for a few of them who are wiser, and mature enough in these affairs of the Spirit. Only they will know who exactly is speaking whenever you open your mouth.
So; 2 directions... i.e. you're standing at a crossroads, wondering what it is that you have to offer to your man. And whatever you decide, you will have to use all your mind and heart and soul to "cultivate" it and DELIVER... (because we men will instinctively know what the answer to that question is; even if you don't speak it out loud.)
All the best my dear.
