need prayer for marriage

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Stephen

Guest
#21
#21
No, she has not asked me to leave or has offered to leave herself. We continue to live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. I don't know if its because we have to young boys and I'm the one who provides most of thier care or what.

This all seems like a bad dream. We don't have loud drag out fights or have ever been in a situation like this. A friend told me today he can't believe this is happening. He always thought of us the perfect couple with such a great relationship. I know things weren't perfect and I could have been better at listening to heart....but divorce.
 
SonOfAdam

SonOfAdam

Senior Member
#22
Jan 1, 2002
169
0
16
#22
Praying for you and your family Stephen. I'm in the same situation but it happened just before marriage. So technically she is not my wife, yet my whole way of thinking had been adapted to think of her as such.
Keep showing her your love. Keep praying. And keep working on he issue that is behind it all, which only she really knows right now. Hindsight is a great thing to show you where you got things wrong, but don't wait til it gets that far to fix it.

Keep making yourself better before God. Work on your relationship with Him,a nd let her see that. Actions as well as words.

I have a couple of online resources I would like to recommend to you:
Christian Men, Spiritual Living Archives

and SermonAudio.com - Sermon Series Marriage and Family Series
 
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Stephen

Guest
#23
#23
Thank you SonOfAdam I will check into those resources.
 
phil36

phil36

Senior Member
#24
Feb 12, 2009
8,345
2,159
113
United Kingdom
#24
Stephen said:
Hello Everyone,

I need prayer for my marriage. We have been married 12 years and have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. We became Christians before marriage and for all of our marriage had a church home and attended regularly and fellowshipped with believers.

Well after our second son was born in 2008 my wifer suffered severe post pardum. I left a good job/career to stay with her and with our sons. It's been tough. The last year I have gone back to work part time and back to school part time so the boys have began attending pre-school. To my fault we quit going to church in the last year as I used the time to study or just do things around the house.

On March 26 my wife told me she's not sure she want to be married to me any longer. Her reason is that over the years she feels I have said unkind things to her and made her feel like I didn't love her. I assured that I did and that I would be willing to go to couneling. We have never had an issue where one of us considered divorce or even walked out for a night. As the days have gone bye since then she still says she doesn't want to be married and knows that God's word teaches us not to divorce unless for adultery. But she said even if Jesus himself were in front of her and told her that it was not his will for her to divorce she would do it anyway! She says she is still a believer.

She did go to a counceling session last Sunday with an assitant pastor from our children's preschool. Where she repeated the same idea.

Please pray for us. I love my wife and want to remain married..
Click to expand...

Praying for you and your family.
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#25
#25
Thank you all again for prayer. Before going to church today my wife brought up the topic of separating for a while. I asked if we could talk about it later after we had been to counceling. She brought it up again after church and shared with me that she feels it would help her find herself and figure things out.

Is a seperation something a Christian married couple should consider? It seems to me a more likely pathway to divorce.
 
S

Special

Guest
#26
#26
I don't know how to start, but rite now i am so lost and i don't know what to do. I am a 46 year old female and my husband left me for a younger woman.......IT HURTS SO BAD that i just don't know where to turn....i need your prayers to get me through.......just yesterday i was saying God why me.........
 
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Brandon777

Guest
#27
#27
I prayed for you as well.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#29
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#29
You , your wife and family are in my prayers for a whole healing in Jesus Christ is Lord.

God bless.
pickles
 
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mdw1369

Guest
#30
#30
Lord, I just pray for this couple. I pray for strength and patience. I pray that they will turn the marriage between this couple over to you. I pray that you will be the head of this marriage as it is your will. I thank you that this man has turned to you and asked you for forgiveness. I pray these things in Christs name Amen.
 
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Stephen

Guest
#31
#31
My wife and I went to our first counseling session. It was more of a get to know us and get to know what each of us is thinking about our current situation. The counselor concluded that my wifes heart is hardened to me and that I should stay clear of any actions that could be interpereted as being pushy. Also, we will begin to talk about how we got to this point beginning in our next session.

She still remains very "matter of fact" about ending the marriage. As the days go by I am loosing hope but I continue to pray and develop my relationship with God.
 
error

error

Senior Member
#32
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#32
Love your wife, family.Ask for forgivness and pray.

God bless you and your family!

I will pray for you.
 
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Stephen

Guest
#33
#33
Thank you error.
 
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Stephen

Guest
#34
#34
My wife is beginning to push hard for some type of seperation. She says she needs the time away from me to think. What are your thoughts? Has anyone experienced a rescued marriage when one wants out so badly?
 
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mdw1369

Guest
#35
#35
Stephen, I am going through the situation where my wife does want to leave and has left the house a for a few nights. It is not easy to watch or to know that she is not coming home that night. Now that I am out of town she is staying at the house and has this other gentleman staying at the house while the children are sleeping. I have told her I do not agree with this. God has told me to let it go because my wife is not mine she is the Lords. God has told me to pray for her and to lift her up because she is being blinded by the false light. I have told my wife that she doesn't have to choose him or this path and she gets up set with me. Some of the things that I have done in the past to her was not letting go of things that I saw wrong and reminded her of them. I have told her that I am already past this and I have let it go. The point is that it is not up to you or I if the wives that God has given us choose to stay or not. We have to continue our walk with Christ and get our relationship with Christ right. If we repair our relationship with Christ and are truely walking with him then the choice is not up to us if they choose to come with us on our walk with Christ or not. Lord I pray that Stephen will turn everything over to you and give his own free will to you Lord I pray that you will give him the urge to read the word and to pray to you always. Lord I pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#36
#36
mdw1369, Thank you, I pray for you and your wife as well. We must also pray for this other person who has been involved in your husband/wife relationship. Unfortunately his judgement is poor and he is allowing himself to do the work of darkness.
In the last couple of days I have been loosing hope. But, yesterday God spoke to me about growing closer to him and I am going to spend my time and energy doing just that. As you said we must continue this walk towards God and His will for us and if our wives want to come along...Praise God! We must represent the image of Christ in their lives. It's amazing that I heard this yesterday and today I get your response. I feel God at work in my life.
 
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mdw1369

Guest
#37
#37
Praise be to God that you are responding to his knocking on your door. Lord I just thank you and give all the glory to you as you have revealed to Stephen to walk with you and to turn things over to you. I thank you for Stephen Lord. I pray Lord that you the wife you have given him will hear you knocking on her door. I pray that she will be receptive to you Lord and that she will seek to find you. Lord I just thank you so much for answering our prayers. Lord I lift up this gentleman that the evil spirit is using to get to the wife you have given me. Lord I pray that you will send a conviction on his heart that he will see that he is not walking with you. Lord I pray that you will cast the evil spirit out of him and that he will find you Lord as you are the only way to true happiness. Lord I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen
 
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Stephen

Guest
#38
#38
Thank you all for your prayer, words of encouragement and biblical council. Our situation has not changed much. My wife asked that me and our two sons go to my mothers house on Thursdays and Fridays to give her time to herself. I did not debate the issue so that is what we are going to do beginning this week.
I do trust God and know that He can perform miracles. And I feel its going to take just that...a miracle. In her words the years of saying and doing things that have hurt her feelings and offended her have destroyed her trust in me. She says she still loves and is in love with me but doesn't want to be married to me any longer. I guess I don't understand how that can be. I pray that she can forgive me and seek counseling so that I can understand how I have offended her so greatly.
As I have mentioned before we have never had horrible arguments or ever used the "D" word for me to believe I was doing something so horrible.
 
SonOfAdam

SonOfAdam

Senior Member
#39
Jan 1, 2002
169
0
16
#39
Recommended reading for you (and all husbands)

The Complete Husband - By Lou Priolo

I'm only half way through it but it offers excellent Biblical lessons on how to communicate resolve love, etc etc etc.

Learnt yesterday that forgiveing your wife is not optional. If you fail to do it you are sinning.
Learnt today that fighting back is required, but that your only weapon allowed is kindness. To repay any wrong she does with good. And that if you allow the hurt to overcome you, you are sinning. You are commanded to win the battle with love. It is not optional :)

Hope that offers a little help.
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#40
#40
That goes along with the councel I have received from others and the pastor of our church. I have been displaying kindness and love to my wife to the point I have heard her say "i'm acting like the perfect husband" . Unfortunately, I get a daily reminder from her that I am wasting my time and that she is past the point of reconciliation.

I do at times feel angry because in our second year of marriage my wife was staying out late and not telling me where she was and finally confessed to having an emotional affair. Her story was that they only kissed one time but I forgave her and moved on. So, occasionally the thought of I forgave her why can't she forgive comes into my mind.

I let the thought go as my energy needs to be focused on my relationship with God and becoming a better man and showing my wife that I truly love her. I cannot control what she does.
 
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