need prayer for marriage

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mdw1369

Guest
#41
#41
Heavenly Father, I pray that you will be with Stephen. I Pray that he will seek your word and hunger for your passion. I pray that he will turn all things over to you Father. Father you tell us if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new. Now things are of God who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation. Father I ask you to give Stephen peace of mind and to know that he is forgiven for things of the past and that you have made him new. Father I ask you to lift this mans worries and to give him a pure mind to focus on you and not things of the past or of this world. Father I ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen
 
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Stephen

Guest
#42
#42
Thank you mdw1369 for your prayer. It's strange that even though things appear to be slipping away regardless of what I do or say I have a growing peace. I know some days will be tougher than others especially as I try to maintain the marriage and she does not.
It is wonderful that we have our shared faith to fellowship and encourage one another during our walk here on earth. Praise God.
 
M

mdw1369

Guest
#43
#43
Yes praise God for the chance that we get to talk as our situations are similar and we can share what each other is going through. I have to say I am at peace and I have some wonderful information for you that if I can get scanned and put on to my lap top I would love to share with you. It will help but lets just say that I am sure my marriage will survive as I am sure that if you totally trust in God yours will too. I am not saying its going to be easy because its not at all but God has given me peace through his studies and prayer. The thing that is hard to learn is that nothing is ours and if we turn it over to God he will give us the tools to clean up our mess as he leads us. Look at a marriage like this its a triangle, With God at the top you on the bottom left and her on the bottom right. If you draw it out the only way that you are going to bridge the gap between you and her is to work up towards God. It does take two to fix a broken marriage, but the two are not you and her its you and God and she may fight but she will come along eventually. Remember God is all powerful and anything is possible through him. Our Father in heaven gives us the power to forgive and forget.
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#44
#44
Today begins the first day of seperation. I will be spending a couple of days away from home each week to give us some time apart. I'm wondering how many of you have done this with little hope but have seen it actually benefit the relationship and begin a reconciliation. Also, would like to hear from those who think it's a bad idea.
 
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mdw1369

Guest
#45
#45
I have had to leave the family that God gave me for training for my new job Praise God for the new job. I turned it over to God and I can honestly say I dont know what is going on in the world because I have spent most of my time reading and studying His word. I did get to spend time with my grandmother and praise God for her she is a wonderful Christian woman. She and I spent a lot of time and prayer and reading the word to each other. God has given me peace and removed anxiety and worry from me as I continue to read and study His word. Stephen stay in the word I can not give personal advice because I dont know what God wants me to say. I can only tell you what God has done to transform me as I continue to turn everything over to our Father. I will be praying for you brother. Focus on God and He will guide us in the direction that He wants us to go in. Michael
 
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ReinItIn

Guest
#46
#46
Love never fails:) when in doubt love. Be patient, be kind, be long suffering, bare no record of wrongs, hopes in all things:) I am a women her focus is on the problems, she is overwhelemed. Take ur eyes of the problems and start loving her, supporting her, loving her, comfort her, encourage her and listen. focus on the Lord, draw strength from him. It doesn't matter if ur wifes stays or leaves u are called to love not make calculations and try to control. Love, Love,Love it never fails. Fear the Lord. Don't fear anything else. Ur family's peace is a priority. Stop letting the enemy fill ur head the problem and ur fears. Pray tilGod answers. :) He is faithful Father through this Son, bring peace love, joy goodness and kindness back to his family.Lord he has come back and seen the destrUction the enemy causes when we walk away from You, Lord forgive him, cleanse his conscience remove his shame and his guilt, remove all fear. Lord restore, refreah and revive the family. Put the Joy back and give them strength. In Jesus Holy and worthy name I ask Father. Thank You Lord.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#47
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#47
Stephen said:
Today begins the first day of seperation. I will be spending a couple of days away from home each week to give us some time apart. I'm wondering how many of you have done this with little hope but have seen it actually benefit the relationship and begin a reconciliation. Also, would like to hear from those who think it's a bad idea.
Click to expand...
I think its a good idea as a temporary measure as long as you both keep in touch on a daily basis and don't forget to keep telling her how much you love her.
 
S

Stephen

Guest
#48
#48
ReinItIn, your right on the point that she is overwhelmed. Many times during stressful situations, kids crying etc..., she breaks down in tears. I have, as difficult as it is, made it a point not to bring up any discussion around our marriage and the issues we are facing. Now if she wants to talk about it I do and am very cautious. I am trying to give her space. In fact, me and our two sons stayed with my parents on Thursday and Friday. My wife said that it was good for her and she appreciated the time to herself and would like to do it again this week.


What do you think about the fact that after 3 weeks of saying she wants out she has decided to stop wearing her wedding ring?
 
M

mdw1369

Guest
#49
#49
I Pray for you that you don't give up and keep your ring on. I read this article the other day on Joycemeyer.org and I found it helpful. Stephen I pray that God will lift the worries that you have upon you. Father I ask that You will be Stephens only guide Father give Stephen the strength and the courage to do the the things You will have him do. Father I pray that You will work in the wife that you gave him and show her the love that You have for her Lord. I pray that Stephen will hunger for Your word. In Jesus name Amen. Here is the article that found me really lol. It might help you also. Untangle the Knots...One Day at a Time
 
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Stephen

Guest
#50
#50
Thanks for the article I'm about to read it. How are things going with you? I can relate to the concern you have about the counsel your wife is getting. My wife did go with me and the boys for Easter and she wore her ring so no one would think anything. This morning though....I noticed the ring was off as she went to work.

And while I know we are guilty of many things that have an enormous role in our situations there is also spiritual warfare being waged. This is one heck of a battle we are in.
 
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Stephen

Guest
#51
#51
Just read the article. The point that really touched me and my situation is the point of patiently with Gods help never giving up on untagnling the knots that have taken so long to create. I am not the most patient man so I have had to with Gods help practice a lot of self control and patience in my marrital situation.
 
M

mdw1369

Guest
#52
#52
Amen Stephen. I am not patient either and it is hard sometimes when we don't see the results that we want to see right away. God is working even though we don't see it. God is allowing us to choose to grow closer to Him and Trust him. Yes God could easily snap His fingers and fix any troubles that we have, but He is telling us that we are not ready and to prepare ourselves for what He has planned and to trust Him that when the time is right He will untangle the Knots we have created.
 
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ReinItIn

Guest
#53
#53
As a women I would say, she is unhappy, overwhelmed, discouraged, searching. Problem is she need to find wholeness, purpose, fulfilment from God. Family though a blessing from God can be a dry well that leaves a person thirsty and dry. God is our source. We go to him for filling and then have plenty to give to all those around us. As my dear friend in Christ would say. Her cookie jar is empty, no ones been making cookies and everyone has been eating them.

The fact that she is warning u, slowly showing you the loss of ur marriage but, still holding on, to me is a women saying. Things need to change and I don't have the strength to be the one that makes things better. I would encourage her to restore herself. Take as much of the weight off her u can. Pray for her. Put your hands on her if she will let you and cry out to God for her. Except that u may loose her. Trust God that your life might change. As her brother in Christ and not a husband that want's his family fixed, minister to her in love. Your needs may not be met but, love would seek to meet hers and seek nothing in return but to do her good.

Lisa
 
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Stephen

Guest
#54
#54
ReinItIn, I have come to a place where I am at peace and have given this over to God. I have repented of the hurtful things I have said over the years and am at peace. I pray that she can forgive and begin to reconcile even though she still says she wants a divorce. Every day I help in the mornings with her getting ready for work and I get the boys up and ready for school. I drop them off go to school myself and finally pick them up from school and feed them dinner. I do all this expressing my love for her and our boys.

People who are close to both of us feel I have spoiled her and that the reason this is happening is that she is wanting freedom from being married and probably cheating. One person very close to her reminded me that in our first year of marriage she had difficulty adjusting to being married. And she acted the same way, wanting a divorce, and ended up have an "emotional affair" with a co-worker. While my wife never confessed to the "emotional affair" in counseling she did tell me about it after she changed her mind and wanted to work it out. Which we went on for 11 years without any similar incident or me bringing the issue back up.

Without anger or heartache though I don't understand something. With great confussion I don't understand how Christians who marry decide it's alright to divorce? As Christians we have the same divorce rate as the general public in this country. Figures like that cause me worry about the body of Christ.
 
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ReinItIn

Guest
#55
#55
The people u have talked to sadly are probably men. Women are weaker we break easily, though we have the strength to give up our own body that God may form life in us, we do not have the same strength as men. God became a man to show his love as a man. He didn't go to angels. Go to ur mom, go to ur grandmothe, go to the old women in the church that loves and prays for everyon. I would suggest you listen. Cuz any older women can tell u exactly where ur wife is. Whoever said u spoil her isn't a women. Probably a man who has broken weaker vessles with mishandling. Read what God commanded a husban. I would also suggest youtube Paul washer on marriage the English Dutch one. Do you want to stand, steadfast upholding ur covenant with God trusting him? Or do you want to be right? Repentance is not sorry I did wrong. It's God help me do right in your sight.
 
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ReinItIn

Guest
#56
#56
I'm just talking straight from my spirit. I have prayed. The issue is not the words. The issue is the wounds. Will Christ use ur hands to heal them or will u become a divorce sutistic. Bible says a gift in secret sooths anger. Go buy her a bunch of womens vitamins and leave them on the counter for her and don't say nothing. Then the next day go buy her some bath balls and a worship tape and a couple candles and say nothing. Listen she is telling u how to heal her. Us women do that. Get her a gift certificate to get a manicure and pedicure. Help her restore herself so she has something to give back to u and her children. Leave her notes about how precious she is to God. Pray, pray, pray. Fight the enemy not ur wife.
 
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Stephen

Guest
#57
#57
Actually I have been focused on speaking to women regarding how my wife feels and what she says. I know that things I have said in the past where things she said to me so I felt I was only casting pebbles. I was actually throwing boulders. I have and continue to pray that God reveals to me the things I have said or done that hurt her trust. I WAS WRONG. And I know the people that say I spoil her are only looking at the things I do such as gas her car, fix breakfast for her before work, clean her car, take care of the house, left an excellent career so she could further her and many other personal sacrifices. They do not know how I have hurt her by saying things that hurt her feelings and trust. I didn't either at the time.

The strange thing for me is that she confessess that the last several months have been really good. She has seen a change in me. Many of the particular topics brought up are things that happened years ago. While I know they were wrong then and wounds are still there. I don't understand why we cannot get counseling and work these things out...together. We have a 2 and 4 year old here...not to mention an oath before God.
 
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ReinItIn

Guest
#58
#58
Re: christains and divorce

It because of lack of love and selfishness.

My grandfather was a man of God. He loved my grandmother because Gods word said to love her as Christ loved the church giving himself up for her. When I was 9 we went to our grandparents. Nana was in the house papa was gone. We asked where he was. Nana said in the garage with his mistress. We went to see Papa had a new caddilac. He was all protective and grumpy with us not to touch it. We went in the house Nana had dinner she wouldn't let us call papa. So we ate and cleaned up. Then Papa came in asked for dinner. Nana said go have your mistress cook it for you. Papa slammed out the door yelling. Then was outside in his new Cadi yelling at us to get in. He took it through the pasture scratched all up. Stopped the car and told Nana God would give her to another man if he kept loving that car more then her. Then he told us he didn't love anything more then his wife and family. They kissed and laughed Nana came back made him a special dinner. In there 80's Nana and papa stil loved, honoroed and cherished each other. They saw each others as gifts they were accountable before God to care for. They died still in love. I would ask you. Why do christains commanded by Christ to walk in Love and cheirah and honor and love one another divorce?
 
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ReinItIn

Guest
#59
#59
I have one more thing that might be good for u to think about. A womens whole body is made to receive. the strength in our arms made to pull toward us, our legs to grasp, our womb to receive. We have a lot more emotion because of the hormones that allow us to bare children. So we are made to draw in our husband our children, supplies for our home.

A mans strength in his arms and legs is made to push, he is made to penetrate and deposit. Logic and thinking set his course. So our needs are different because we are made different. So my thought would be. Why are you drawing your children close, taking care of the needs of your home and ur wife is having to push through the world and bring the provision? Is this her decision to be seperated from her home and family? Are you considering Gods view of structure and taking creative design into your families dynamics and plan or following aFter what the world is telling us what family should be like? Mostly are the two of you trusting God to make a way for u to live by his word? Not sure but I am hopeing this helps:) lots of love. I pray God makes all the crooked paths straight and heals all the wounds. Father remove any obsticles that would stand in the way of restoration for each member of this family. Lord help Stephan be patient aand wait on you. U are our healer. We humble ourselfs and look to you for that which we are unable to do. In Jesus Name Amen.
 
M

mdw1369

Guest
#60
#60
Stephen I praise God right now for You. God is doing a work in you. If you would like to know what is going on with me here is the link to my prayer request. I wrote the last entry today 4/29/2011. I will continue to Pray for you here is another link that is amazing that God put on me today.Transformation Garden. I found that to be very powerful even with all the things that have gone on today. May God bless you brother in Christ.
 
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