Much Love & prayers for our Lord and and savior in his righteousness to provide you with the love you so very much desire and just for you to feel his Holy spirit within and be still and know that he is God. Know that he loves you in spite of your weakness and know that he is right there beside you. Also know that satan is seeing you in your weekness and man oh man does he EVER want you to grieve God by going ahead with this. I can just see him and his little demons rubbing their hands if they have them together in eager anticipation of tuesday. Satan does this by his own will not by Gods will and it is our free will that gives satan license to tempt us and cause us to fall in the eyes of God. I pray you will get through this time of test & trial. I also pray that the Lord will reveal to your heart the spiritual implications of this highly anticipated encounter. Highly anticipated because satan placed that desire upon your heart. Satan is the poor paymaster my friend and I send you love and peace in Jesus name that you will be totally and completely washed white as snow from this desire for other men. Take it from someone who looked for love in all the wrong places, this is a HUGE mistake that will leave you feeling empty, used, sickened and alone. I have already prayed for you as I'm sure so many others on here will too. You are his most precious beautiful child & God knows you have the ability to rebuke satan as he try's his best to separate you from the will of the Father. He is your heavenly father and he knows every single thing about you... He DID NOT give satan permission to convince you to enter into a gay relationship, SO DO NOT for a minute think that that comes from the father with satan as a go between, ok. I will continue in prayer for you and I just really wish I could give you a day in the life of me, after having gone through what i've gone through in this life & come through to redemption & finally pursuing the will of God and ACTUALLY feeling the Holy Spirit within DAILY and talking to God throughout the day... actually feeling the Presence of the Lord. This was elusive to me too for the first 10 years of my christian walk & then guess what... I started pursuing the Lord in a whole new way & the more I pushed away satan the more God revealed himself to me. Salavation was always there but when you grieve the spirit.... welll the best way i can explain it is as my son 7 years old at the time explained the Holy Spirit he said " the Holy spirit is like a brick wall between you and the bad things you want to do like sin. you come to the wall and it stops you but still you can climb over the wall or go around the wall and sin. I take it one step further... everytime we stop at the wall that is the Holy Spirit that is convicting us of our sin... everytime we stop and turn away, we build up the wall & strengthen our relationship with the Lord... everytime we go around or climb over the wall, we weaken it. The wall is still there but the more we grieve the spirit the weaker our relationship with the Lord. I submit to you that you are a young man capable of strengthening that wall by turning away from your sinful desire & reinforce it with prayer & time spent in the word of GOD. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all his righteousness. Please Please Please, spend some time God before you make a decision that will throw you into heavy duty spiritual turmoil. God Bless you young Laddie & much Love to you.