The Male and Disrespect

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Jul 12, 2012
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#61
I really appreciate all of the comments that have been made, and I have definitely gained a lot of insight from what has been shared. Honestly, I shared what I did because I was feeling overwhelmed, but now I see that I'm part of the problem and more so than I originially thought. In all actuality I saw it while I was posting what I did. I let my fear (My family disrespecting me) and my reaction paint that post. In actuality whether my family respects or disrespects me is not for the public, but rather for me to shoulder. Everyone has a cross to bear, and me pointing my wife out like I did in this post was horribly wrong. So what about my feelings of inferiority, I have to let them go! I am in God's hands, and I needed advice at the time. Yet at the same time I need to trust when things don't go so well. Respect is earned! This is truth. Jesus was loved and respected because love begets love. If I'm not begetting love to those around me, I must be doing something wrong. I need to spend more time with Jesus and what He thinks about me and less what society at large thinks (Including my extended family). I feel like everyone brought something good to this discussion. Thank you everyone for your comments. Again I apologize about talking about my wife and children like that. May God richly bless you all!
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
13,183
5,984
113
#62
I have to say, if my husband EVER brought home the pastor to tell me I am wrong on a behavior, it would go over like a lead balloon. I would be FURIOUS with him, and I would NEVER attend the church of a pastor who believes it's okay to torpedo a membor of a family into behaving in a certain way to fit his, my husband's or anyone else's view of what's right or not.
This is the flesh talking.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,126
2,282
113
#63
This is the flesh talking.
So you wouldn't mind if your wife brought home a pastor to tell you what to do and when to get off? Awesome!

In fact, you have a rigidly misogynist double standard. You assume men need to be in control, whether they are right or wrong, and women should let their husbands push them around, because they have some kind of imaginary god-given right to being in charge, when they have not earned it. And no, a defective Y chromosome doesn't give you a right over anyone. (Hemophilia, colour blindness, etc!)

Submission is always voluntary. If you are forcing your wife to do things, that is called abuse. Learn the difference, please!
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
15,642
9,326
113
74
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#64
I really appreciate all of the comments that have been made, and I have definitely gained a lot of insight from what has been shared. Honestly, I shared what I did because I was feeling overwhelmed, but now I see that I'm part of the problem and more so than I originially thought. In all actuality I saw it while I was posting what I did. I let my fear (My family disrespecting me) and my reaction paint that post. In actuality whether my family respects or disrespects me is not for the public, but rather for me to shoulder. Everyone has a cross to bear, and me pointing my wife out like I did in this post was horribly wrong. So what about my feelings of inferiority, I have to let them go! I am in God's hands, and I needed advice at the time. Yet at the same time I need to trust when things don't go so well. Respect is earned! This is truth. Jesus was loved and respected because love begets love. If I'm not begetting love to those around me, I must be doing something wrong. I need to spend more time with Jesus and what He thinks about me and less what society at large thinks (Including my extended family). I feel like everyone brought something good to this discussion. Thank you everyone for your comments. Again I apologize about talking about my wife and children like that. May God richly bless you all!
Yes, women have trouble submitting because men do not love properly. Real love will make one concerned about the woman's dreams, hopes and desires.

If you intention was to beat them with God's word that might be the problem. When a man and his woman is battling for power in the family, the children will use that as a way to play both sides for desirable results.

Show your love for your woman and plan with her to present a united front to the rest of the family. If she won't get on board with you, on this, maybe she isn't converted. Then that needs addressed first. I will pray for you brother. :cool:
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
2,872
1,728
113
Texas
#66
I said I would post this a while back about Eve, and how the roles came AFTER the Fall.

The word עזרor "ezer" often translated "helpmeet" (KJV) from the Hebrew in Gen. 2:18 - It appears 21 times in the Old Testament. Two times it is in Genesis for the woman (Gen. 2:18, 20). three times for nations to whom Israel appealed for military aid. (Isa. 30:5, Eze. 12:14, Daniel 11:34),

And SIXTEEN TIMES for God as Israel's helper. (Exodus 18:4, Deut. 33:7, 26, 29, Psalms 20:2, 33:20, 70:5, 89:19 (translated STRENGTH) in NIV; 115:9, 10, 11; 121:1-2; 124:8; 146:5; Hosea 13:9.

So rather than the word being translated "Helper", a better translation would be STRONG helper! Ezer is used in a military context, "shield and defense," "better than chariots and horses," "Sentry watch over his people."

Even Eden fits this pattern, because truly the Garden of Eden was a war zone. God commanded the man to keep or guard the garden by using the same military language later used for the cherubim who guarded the garden with a flaming sword. The reason, of course, is that a powerful enemy was already planning an attack.

God created his daughters to be ezer-warriors with their brothers. God deploys the ezer to break the man's aloneness by soldiering with him wholeheartedly and at full strength for God's gracious kingdom.

As ezer-warriors, we must be strong, resourceful, alert to the cries of the needy and oppressed. Other verses that support the ezer-warrior image, include Ruth and the Proverbs 31 woman, and all believers are told to "put on the armour of God" in Eph. 6:10-17, not just the men.

Thinking of ezer as a warrior is entirely consistent with how Scripture views us. Everyone needs to be aware, that the Hebrew word in no way supports the idea of roles, based on this word used to describe Eve twice, and also for God 16 times, and 3 times for those who needed military aid.

As for roles? Genesis 3:1-7 is the record of the Fall. The God tracks down the man, and finds out what happens. In verses 15-19, he gives them the consequences of their disobedience, and roles come out of that.

"To the woman he said,
“I will greatly increase your labor pains;
with pain you will give birth to children.
You will want to control your husband,
but he will dominate you.”
17 But to Adam he said,
“Because you obeyed your wife
and ate from the tree about which I commanded you,
‘You must not eat from it,’
cursed is the ground thanks to you;
in painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.
18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
but you will eat the grain of the field.
19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat food
until you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust, and to dust you will return.”" Gen. 3:15-19

So, no roles before the Fall, roles as a consequence of sin. I know I certainly would not want to follow a pattern, that was a result of sin, as a born again Imago Dei, after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Very sad this very wrong philosophy is being taught as true, when it is not!
Great observation and assessment.
I would like to add one thing though; Ephesians chapter 5, is the direct antidote for the curse if you will. You see in Christ there are no curses over us, and there are biblical principles that cancel them. Sadly many Christians remain under a curse under which they are no longer subject.
If the man loves his wife as Christ loved the church, he guards her, protects her, provides for her, give her freedom and authority thus breaking the bondage of he shall rules over you. This returns her status to helpmeet which you accurately describes. Like wise submit to your husband as he submits to Christ breaks the curse of and her desire will be for her husband, which is misunderstood. That desire is the same word used when God said to Cain sin is at the door and it desires you. The idea is to consume or dominate. If she willingly submits this is broken, and if he loves her as Christ loved the church the rule over part is is broken. Now we are back to strong partners. But even partners have roles. Those roles for the Godly man and Godly woman are spelled out. For the woman Proverbs 32, and for the man the directive for deacon spelled out in Timothy. Let us never forget such women as Phoebe in the book of acts.