Exactly. If you have to be up early in the morning to make breakfast, get the kids off to school, make it to work on time, then you can't be up all night with your spouse. You need sleep.
All night? Ten, 20, 30, or 40 minutes might make more sense then.
There is also prioritizing. A spouse might prefer a homecooked meal or be willing to cook something on the grill if it is a matter of time and chores. How many spouses prioritizing folding the laundry that night over taking care of their partner's physical needs? Some men would choose frozen fish sticks heated in the oven over an elaborate home cooked meal if it means getting some physical affection.
When your job is demanding, you need sleep when you get home. Not a nagging spouse going on about it being a sin to refuse sex.
Some spouses might be digging coal out of the coal mine 16 hours a week. It's possible. But for a lot of people it is a matter of prioritizing one's partner's needs and actually caring about pleasing one's spouse. What other 'duties' does the Bible give us in marriage? The husband is to love the wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her, to honor the wife, and provide her food, clothing, and render her 'due benevolence'. The wife is to love, submit to, and obey her husband and render him 'due benevolence.' Taking both Old and New Testament instructions to husbands and wives, there aren't that many, and 'due benevolence' is one of the few things mentioned. Some of these other things that compete for our time are not.
Some people have physical issues. But in a lot of cases it is really a matter of attitude and really wanting to please one's spouse, make him or her experience love in that way, and take care of his or her needs. It is a 'duty', but neither man nor woman, typically, wants a partner who grits their teeth and begrudgingly does their duty. Getting joy out of making one's spouse happy is a good thing for a marriage, and it applies outside of the bedroom as well, of course.
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Sex should happen when it's convenient for both persons. Not just giving in because it's a chore that must be done or else someone's gonna cheat.
It's not anyone's job to keep anyone from cheating. We all responsible for our actions. No matter what you do, you can't keep no one with a lack of self control or lust problem from cheating.[/QUOTE]
If someone commits adultery because his or her wife withholds sex, that person is responsible before God for the adultery. But if someone withholds sex from their spouse which weakens him or her up so that he or she falls into sin, that person is responsible before God for disobeying the teaching of scripture and not rendering 'due benevolence.'
And I think we all realize that some people are sick, have injuries, etc.