Poems, thoughts, songs

Empty Space
by me

He insisted that he be in my life,
so I've created a giant space inside my heart,
for him to stay, I knew he wasn't serious,
but I fell for him anyway.

Why couldn't you just leave me alone,
when I didn't know you?
I could have been spared all of this,
you are so selfish. Don't act like you care.

This is why I pushed you away,
on the very first day,
but you insisted.

Then he casually went away,
all the promises and commitment,
were just lies to fool me in order to make me stay.

Now I live with this void,
this giant gaping wound that he created.
So this is how it will be like,
for awhile at least.

Just leave me alone from now on,
so that I can heal.
I'm getting use to living without you
for the rest of my life.


​

I guess it takes a real man
to tell a woman she can't compete
with her.

newsflash, I don't want to,
and no you're right I can't,
because I don't have what it takes,
nor do I want to.

I don't really care.!..

and good for you both,
Hope that it lasts forever and
that you are both happy.

Good riddance.​

Pain
by me

Pain, is ugly to look at.
Its horrifying.
Nobody likes looking at it.
Everyone wants to cover it with
a flowery veil,
To make it go away.

but it's still there.

Pain, it offends their senses,
so we change the channel,
or we'll try to fix it,
so we don't have to empathize.

but it's still there.

It exists, like day and night,
like joy and grief,
it's normal to feel it,
its normal to drain it out,
to vent it away.

and one day it won't be there,
just the phantom pain
of yesterday,
and that is a memory.​

People
by me

people like to tell you what to do,
they like to tell you how to feel,
when you are doing good,
they question whether you are being real.
if you loved someone pretty
they accuse you of being shallow.

People like to manipulate
with their witchcraft they think
they are doing a good thing,
when they are tearing your mind apart,
so that you can be molded to their wishes
to make you into what they want to see.

People like to control,
people should leave me alone,
I'm better off alone.
Happier that way.​

The accusers
by me

the blackest bats and crows
swirl around my head,
and they cry the same songs
over and over again.

You say I am selfish,
that I want you all to myself,
but have I not let you go
every time,
and wished you well?

I have to let you go everyday,
even when you come to me with your pain,
and yet I am accused still of selfishness.

If I was selfish,
If I wanted to be with you,
I would have made it happen
and nothing would have stopped me.
but I let you go.

I know you don't belong to me,
that's why I have always let you go,
and I've always set you free.

I guess you think I'm selfish
because I guess it's wrong to ask
for someone who believes in faithfulness,
I guess its just outdated thinking
for the modern world with no morals,
or sense of what is right or wrong.

it's just old fashion thinking,
I know that's why I have let you go,
because you don't think like me.

Just ignore everything,
don't read a thing,
my tears mean nothing.
It's just a weakness,
I can fake a smile,
as good as anybody.
Ignore me!

I let you go,
hopefully that is unselfish,
to wish you happiness.​

you think flashing all the things
i have ever wanted to do with you
hurts me, well yeah
of course it does.

but I'm happy for you,
it's just taking me awhile
to reprogram mind from
wanting of same old things.

it doesn't matter...

Someone told me Jesus
would acknowledge me to everyone
one day, and that is good enough for me.

so, I'm happy for you

​

What is evil
by me

I write my thoughts to release
the skeleton ringing it's chains within.
Sometimes I use metaphors to describe
the demons that dance upon my brow
with metaphors.

I don't believe animals are evil,
crows are not evil, nor or bats,
black cats are the sweetest
friendliest creatures I have ever met,
wolves are lovely too.
every creepy crawly bug, worm or spider,
Written about just innocent creatures.
No, they are not evil.

Evil is a thought not yet born,
and a choice not yet acted upon,
by human hands.
It is the action lurking around the corner,
the creak upon the elder stair,
it is the device laid out for unsuspecting,
the silence between each heartbeat that would dare.

it is the demon whispering
in the ear seductively,
for it knows the choices
are human err.

-end-

​

Love is
by me

Love is sacrifice,
to say no to yourself,
to say no to a certain kind of life,
not everyone gets a chance to be a wife.

Sometimes, we give up everything,
for the ones we love,
every second of the future,
every single dream.

Love is sacrifice,
to let someone go,
to give up so they can be happy,
to take a different road,

Love is giving up
the life you wanted,
so they can be happy
so they can live.

love is not selfish,
love is self sacrifice.
​

What kind of girl I am
by me

I am the kind of girl that will
write a guy a thousand poems and songs,
just to lift his spirit,
and I won't ask for anything,
just that you keep going another day,
and I'll do it unwanted,
just because that's how I love.

I am the kind of girl that will
wait a long, long amount of years patiently,
for the day you are struck with
bravery. I would wait for you.

I am the kind of girl
that will change my tune,
if I know it makes you blue.

I am the kind of girl
who will be true,
when a guy flirts with me,
To them I will say no
because I will be faithful to you.

I'm the kind of girl,
who is intelligent, beautiful,
I am generous and kind.
Even though It seems conceited
to talk about myself,
I'm actually humble,
I have a quiet spirit,
and I pray,

I am the kind of girl who
knows her worth,
and I'm waiting for the kind
of guy who sees my worth too.
When I see the right guy
I will know,
for they will love me too.​

Red Letters
Lyrics by DC Talk

Pages filled with a holy message
Sealed with a kiss from heaven
On a scroll long ago
Phrases, words that were bound together
Now have the power to sever
Like a sword evermore

Heed the words divinely spoken
May your restless heart be broken
Let the supernatural take hold

[chorus]

There is love in the red letters
There is truth in the red letters
There is hope for the hopeless
Peace and forgiveness
There is life in the red letters
In the red letters

One man came to reveal a mystery
Changing the course of history
Made the claim he was God
Ageless, born of a virgin Mary
Spoke with a voice that carried through the years
It's persevered

Heed the words divinely spoken
May your restless heart be broken
Let the supernatural take hold

[repeat chorus]

[bridge]
What You say moves me, revelation, come and take me
The more I look (the more I look) the more I see (the more I see)
The Word of God (the Word Of God) is what I need

Oh yeah, oh yeah
Yeah, it's the book of love
Yeah, yeah, yeah
It's the book of love
That moves

[repeat chorus]

(Waitin' for you)
(Comin' to you)
(Do you see it?)
(I believe it)

Speak to me, breathe in me new life [x2]
Let Him in your heart [x4]

[video=youtube;o11wY_SAz90]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o11wY_SAz90[/video]​

Inside my heart
by me


If you could see the world inside my heart,
You would be amazed.
How dare you people judge so blindly,
And label it as a temporary phase.

What would you do if you could see,
The love that is so bright and shining?
I am sure you would be dumbfounded,
it would pierce your soul as fast as lighting.

Sure it is nothing to you,
Who blindly, casually nonchalant,
Put my heart within a box,
But it is it’s own world,
It has battled the bloodiest wars,
To the ghostly beat driving it
Forward.

It’s love is big enough to hold
More than one person up at a time,
While still managing the time
To orchestrate a symphony.

You would think I’d know
Exactly, the thoughts of my own heart.

-End-​

Turning you away
by me

My heart was real,
as was my love loyal,
but you never appreciated it,
you don’t deserve what I have to give.

I don’t care, if this isn’t the nice
thing to say.
I loved you,
but you constantly did things
to hurt me,
and yet I still loved you!

I'm trying to move on,
And yet I am tormented by
A touch of the past.


I won’t let you in this time,
I won’t rescue you from your hell.
Every time there is trouble in paradise,
And on the days that you fell.

It’s just not my problem anymore.
You can deny everything,
Even the times you have haunted me.

You are a despicable leech, surrounded by
Leeches. You're the biggest leech among leeches.

I can’t forgive you,
Not this time.
You are just going to hurt me again
(or worse),
And drop me like last time.
For the hundredth time that
I have forgiven you..

I'm done with you.

Just leave me alone,
I've learned my lesson.

-end-​

I forgive you.
​