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The bell rang for round one
Des stepped to the middle of the ring
When a haymaker, right cross and uppercut
Through the air his body did fling
He gets up off the canvass
Wipes the blood from his lip
He charges his foe with reckless abandon
Gets met with a jab,
And down he goes on his hip.
He thinks to himself
"I have to be more careful this time
This boxer is skilled in the sweet science
If I am not careful,
They will put me to silence"
He takes his time as he approaches his foe
They bash his jaw, make his eye swell
Cut down his eye and stomp a toe
Then a one-two left right combo,
He goes down the third time,
the timekeeper rings the bell
The fight was over in less than one minute
Des seemed rather alarmed
"How did this boxer beat me so fast?"
Then through the slit of his right eye
He realized it was that Baptist schoolmarm
Rip Van Winkle had just been awoken
From his 20 years long nap
By an inquisitive Presby lad
That was setting on his lap
This Presby child was rather curious
He wanted to know things
He acted rather spurious
Wanted to ask Mr. Van Winkle something
"Mr. Van Winkle, how was it
That you slept for 20 long years?
Was it that you worked day and night
Down at the local Sears?"
"No my lad," quipped the grisly looking feller
"It was not that at all, but I'd best not tell'ya."
"Was it then the singing of the saints of God,
Ella Fitzgerald, Aretha Franklin or Frank Sinatra?"
"No, my lad, twas none of them."
"Then was it the singing of Elvis Presley,
Nat King Cole, Perry Como, or Mama Cass Elliott?"
"No, my lad, twas none of them either,
I guess I will tell you, you seem rather insistent."
"It twas not the singing of those greats,
Nor was it even the singing of Ethel Merman.
What caused be to go into a 20 years sleep
Was the preaching of a Presby sermon"
Say people have you seen the Baptist with no shirt on his chest
Gone run down the road this mornin', like he gonna 'scape our jest
He seen the smoke way up the river, where the Presby gunboats lay
He took his Bible, run real sudden like he gonna go and pray
The Baptist run, ha ha! The Presby stay ho ho!
And there must be now a kingdom com'n and a year of jubilo