I have a bad view of women in general

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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#1
#1
Growing up... I used to think most women were "more" good... maybe even more moral than men.

Now... I just have a somewhat cautious and bad view of them in general. I know it's not all of them... but I just have a bad vibe about them now.

For example, just as I'm typing this post... I'm kind of irked about how I think my aunt is trying to read what I'm typing. I think it. I suspect it because she has tried before and has bluntly lied about not doing so.. and on-top of that she smiled and laughed casually about it.

Anyways, as a kid and growing up through my teens, I always thought that women seemed to be our better half. They're sweet and innocent and thought of as the victims. (sigh) And I thought of it that way for most of my life... but today I said something that made me realize I just don't think like that anymore. I commented on my college professor and said, "all we(students) see is a woman lecturing really fast." That was criticism and you notice how I just said, "woman." The way I said that made me realize that this is how I think of women in general. I think most of them are bothersome and annoying sometimes. I feel like they want to be pampered and be understood like an annoying little brat at a grocery store. GIMMIE, GIMMIE, I want it my way... understand me... but I FEEL THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME. It's like a give women everything and men are suppose to be okay with giving her everything. I know it's not like that with all women but it has been like that with most of the women in my life.

I just wish the women in my life were easier going instead of trying to selfishly have it her way. I don't like my aunt sometimes. She can be one annoying woman. She complains and always notes negative things and even predicts negative things are going to happen if things don't go her way. I honestly sometimes can't even stand the sound of her voice. I've snapped at her a few times and I think that's what she needed. I yelled and she actually pipped down some. I told her that she gives me a head ache and she understood thanks to God. Anyways, point is.. her behavior has made the idea of not being around her an attractive idea and this is what I wanted to point out. Some of you women can be so freaking annoying that I don't want to be around you sometimes. So, if this applies to you... please try to keep your mouth shut and consider others around you. And no, I'm not going to try to be tact... it has to be said this way so YOU get the message and see how far it affects the men in your life around you. I feel like I want to just quit on some women in my life... because of how thoughtless and selfish these women can be. I'm done.

So, why is this in the singles forum? Easy... I think what I'm experiencing is something worth noting to the singles, both men and women, because I know there's men that have these problems with the women in their lives. And women should be aware and take notes so they don't make the men in their lives feel this way. This is a relationship problem among men and women.

In summary, I think women can SOMETIMES be fatalistic naggers or just nag in general but fatalistic naggers take the cake IMO, focused on utterly useless details (notice I was specific the kind of details and also note that THIS is an actual important detail to note), read between the lines and imagine entire universes around those made up thoughts and then on-top of all that... completely be convinced she's right about it all just because she feels like it.

Solution, or at least what I think is the solution. I think a good part of the solution is in one word and that word is truth. Women, stick to that word and watch your world transform around you. Whether your one of the women I'm complaining about or not... or anyone really... will live in a much more clear world if you stick to the truth. The truth is not based off your feelings. Your feelings only tell you how YOU feel... It's not a guide to your life. If you think your feelings is your guide in life then you need to re-evaluate your life.

Another part of the solution is just be easy going and understand that constantly complaining about not getting your way just makes people want to get stay away from you. Just be nice.

So, yeah, what are your thoughts?
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#2
#2
Hooray for typos I can't edit anymore because time ran out lol I'm sure most of you get the general idea though.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#3
#3
I have a bad view of humans in general some days. It's not gender-specific.


Edit: I believe that's because of my own emotional baggage that I feel that way about the world.

You can't blame all women for how you feel about women. Some of it is because of your own baggage.

Hope this helps some, and I mean no offense in the slightest. :)
 
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kayem77

Guest
#4
#4
So, yeah, what are your thoughts?
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Sorry?.....Thank you? I'll try to be more considerate of the men around me and leave my nagging and annoying self at home everytime I go out.




On a more serious note...I think your views on women have been distorted because of your relationship with your aunt. It is true that some women are annoying,, and some women are naggers...maybe more than some. But needless to say, this is not true for every woman, and that's why you have to get to know someone before gettin into a relationship (if that's where you were going). Putting ALL women in a box just because of some bad experiences is not fair...and it will eventually make you hold bitternes in your heart. Don't let that happen to you. I used to think all men were abusive cheaters...now I know that it's not true, and that humans in general are sinners needing redemption. Both men and women have a purpose in God.
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#5
#5
Relena7 said:
I have a bad view of humans in general some days. It's not gender-specific.


Edit: I believe that's because of my own emotional baggage that I feel that way about the world.

You can't blame all women for how you feel about women. Some of it is because of your own baggage.

Hope this helps some, and I mean no offense in the slightest. :)
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Baggage, yeah that's definitely part of it. It helped. No offense taken.
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
#6
#6
seriously... i can think of some very annoying and unpleasant to be around men AND women. It would probably be far healthier for you to adjust your thinking to "my aunt annoys me", "people with her behaviors annoy me", but "i won't let fatalistic thinking warp my thinking that women in general are like my aunt.
 
MrHonest

MrHonest

Senior Member
#7
Jan 22, 2012
4,093
4
38
#7
God punished us because our blessed father in flesh Adam was too sweet to tell his wife,"No."

Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

You're just going to have to deal with your lack of patience and learn to love others as a Christian not as a man.
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#9
#9
kayem77 said:
Sorry?.....Thank you? I'll try to be more considerate of the men around me and leave my nagging and annoying self at home everytime I go out.




On a more serious note...I think your views on women have been distorted because of your relationship with your aunt. It is true that some women are annoying,, and some women are naggers...maybe more than some. But needless to say, this is not true for every woman, and that's why you have to get to know someone before gettin into a relationship (if that's where you were going). Putting ALL women in a box just because of some bad experiences is not fair...and it will eventually make you hold bitternes in your heart. Don't let that happen to you. I used to think all men were abusive cheaters...now I know that it's not true, and that humans in general are sinners needing redemption. Both men and women have a purpose in God.
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Your forgiven. lol And home is exactly where it's not suppose to be at >_> Home is suppose to be a nice, happy, and peaceful place. I'd hope so anyways. ;)

Aunt, friends, and girls that have been closer to friends.... so it wasn't just my aunt. I lost 5 thousand dollars thanks to a woman. The one woman who I figured I can trust the most... my mom. It was money for my college but she decided it was okay to spend it. So, yeah, women can really really suck. And I'm not putting all women in the Box. I know that logically not all women are this terrible but I guess in my heart... I feel like all women can just turn into an annoying woman. Hope that makes sense.

I'd say most secular men are abusive cheaters... players. You should stick to Christian guys at young adult groups. There's usually pretty nice guys there. And yeah all humans struggle with sin.
 
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violakat

Guest
#10
#10
Honestly, I don't know what to say. I see and hear a lot of men that come across as very angry and bitter and whose wives wish they could somehow get of their marriage and sometimes this sours me to the idea of marriage. But then I see men who are the kindest, most loving men, and the wives adore their husband and would do anything for them, and this restore my faith. So I do understand where you're coming from.

Right now, it does sound like your jaded by your aunt's attitude. I'm curious, are the other women you're around acting like this? (Edit: I just saw you're last post, so I know your answer for this first question is yes.) Also, are the men you're friends with constantly bad mouthing women and complaining about their nagging?
 
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Tintin

Guest
#11
#11
Hmm... do you have any positive male role models in your life - growing up and now? If you don't or you have few, that will help to warp your view of women as a whole. I understand your resentment but you're going to have to give that burden to God and realise that you need healing from him. It's the only way this scenario is going to improve.
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#12
#12
BarlyGurl said:
seriously... i can think of some very annoying and unpleasant to be around men AND women. It would probably be far healthier for you to adjust your thinking to "my aunt annoys me", "people with her behaviors annoy me", but "i won't let fatalistic thinking warp my thinking that women in general are like my aunt.
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Logically, not all women are that terrible.... the "vibe" I'm left with tho is that any woman can be a real drag. So, no... I don't think my aunt is the only woman that is annoying. She's a good example though. Also, I think the problems I brought up are problems mostly men complain about women. So, making it vague by saying "people"... doesn't make sense because this is about women and the problems I think men complain about.
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#13
#13
MrHonest said:
God punished us because our blessed father in flesh Adam was too sweet to tell his wife,"No."

Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

You're just going to have to deal with your lack of patience and learn to love others as a Christian not as a man.
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My part is to be patient... always... but let's not forget that women also should act rightly as-well eh?
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#14
#14
soooo You're angry. ^_^ I can get that. And I can understand your venting. Thats totally ok too. But don't let it go to your head that men aren't just as annoying and nagging and etc as any woman can be. ^_^. You say the women in your life are like that. . . .well I've gotta say that the women in my life can be like that too. but thats nothing compared to what the men in my life have done to them. My father bringing STD's home to my mother after cheating on her for years and leaving her home with 3 children. my grandad mosleting my aunts. my cousin's husband ran up huge debts, wore out both cars and had a new born and 2 older children with their mother in an apartment with no power for a month.

i could go on and on about the different stories of what these men have done to the nagging and ungrateful wives they've had. But all that really needs to be addressed is that EVERYONE needs to keep their focus on the lord above them. THAT is when relationship work. THAT is when women can submit to their husbands and husbands can love them like they love themselves.

Don't let what you see around you kill your faith or the Wonderful love you may have planned for your life. ^_^
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#15
#15
violakat said:
Honestly, I don't know what to say. I see and hear a lot of men that come across as very angry and bitter and whose wives wish they could somehow get of their marriage and sometimes this sours me to the idea of marriage. But then I see men who are the kindest, most loving men, and the wives adore their husband and would do anything for them, and this restore my faith. So I do understand where you're coming from.

Right now, it does sound like your jaded by your aunt's attitude. I'm curious, are the other women you're around acting like this? (Edit: I just saw you're last post, so I know your answer for this first question is yes.) Also, are the men you're friends with constantly bad mouthing women and complaining about their nagging?
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I don't think the men in my life matter.... although some have bad mouthed. I think my experience with certain women has left me with a bad vibe about women. So, yeah, it'll be okay though. It's not like I'm super depressed. I'm just bothered at the moment.
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#16
#16
Tintin said:
Hmm... do you have any positive male role models in your life - growing up and now? If you don't or you have few, that will help to warp your view of women as a whole. I understand your resentment but you're going to have to give that burden to God and realise that you need healing from him. It's the only way this scenario is going to improve.
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I don't have positive male role models... but isn't that a different issue? How can a positive male role model help my thoughts about women?

And yeah, I'll be okay thanks to God, eventually.
 
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Buff_Old_Guy

Guest
#17
#17
Aqua_Girl09 said:
soooo You're angry. ^_^ I can get that. And I can understand your venting. Thats totally ok too. But don't let it go to your head that men aren't just as annoying and nagging and etc as any woman can be. ^_^. You say the women in your life are like that. . . .well I've gotta say that the women in my life can be like that too. but thats nothing compared to what the men in my life have done to them. My father bringing STD's home to my mother after cheating on her for years and leaving her home with 3 children. my grandad mosleting my aunts. my cousin's husband ran up huge debts, wore out both cars and had a new born and 2 older children with their mother in an apartment with no power for a month.

i could go on and on about the different stories of what these men have done to the nagging and ungrateful wives they've had. But all that really needs to be addressed is that EVERYONE needs to keep their focus on the lord above them. THAT is when relationship work. THAT is when women can submit to their husbands and husbands can love them like they love themselves.

Don't let what you see around you kill your faith or the Wonderful love you may have planned for your life. ^_^
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Alrighty then lol
 
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Tintin

Guest
#19
#19
Buff, how? Um, because positive male role models in your life show you how to respect women and how to be leader and say No! when it needs to be said and how to make the right decisions in life. They show you how to connect with people in general, how to learn about life and how to create things. Only a man can teach a boy to be a man. That's the way God created us. Your resentment for women likely springs from your lack of masculine relationships. This much is true.

Much of the crime committed by boys and men is just that - a cry for help. They have no father to mentor them, to love them, to show them how to love. Boys need to be validated by their fathers. This much is true.
 
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Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#20
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
48
#20
I don't like my aunt sometimes. She can be one annoying woman. She complains and always notes negative things and even predicts negative things are going to happen if things don't go her way.
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So, you're complaining about your aunt complaining huh?

I've snapped at her a few times and I think that's what she needed.
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You don't even want to know what I would have done if I was your aunt in this situation.
Some of you women can be so freaking annoying that I don't want to be around you sometimes
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Why do you let other people control how you feel?
So, if this applies to you... please try to keep your mouth shut and consider others around you.
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If a man ever talked to me this way, they would be picking their dignity up off the floor and trying to put it back together with tears in their eyes while sucking their thumb

it has to be said this way so YOU get the message and see how far it affects the men in your life around you
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YOU need to get the message that YOU are in control of your life and your own emotions. Don't blame others because you cannot maintain self control, snapping at people and telling them to keep their mouth shut shows you have some serious anger issues. Whether you are just irritated at the moment or this is a daily thing for you...YOU need to work on your own attitude before you start to point out flaws in others.

People get annoyed at people all the time, but that is no excuse to lose control and react in ways you have described. There is probably a reason why your aunt is so negative. If people snapped at me and talked so bad about me like you talk about her then I would probably not be tip toeing through the tulips either.
 
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