I have a bad view of women in general

[Tintin]

Richard: *Sigh* I should have taken her best china while she wasn't looking and have skipped town.

 

[arwen83]

Richard: Hmm...so this is married life. Welp, at least I won't ever have to dress myself

 

[Tintin]

Richard: It's a real bother when the most exciting time of your married life is being dressed by your wife.

 

[Liamson]

"Stop squirming Richard, you wouldn't want to look like Onslow."

 

[Tintin]

I'm impressed that you guys know of and enjoy Keeping Up Appearances. British comedies are generally well-loved by Aussies but it would seem many Americans just don't get them.

 

[Buff_Old_Guy]

OP, you rob yourself of a lot when you put your happiness on other people changing for you. You cheat yourself of peace when you put it in someone elses hands.

Yeah I get that if you've been bitten by the same animal over and over, you are going to trust that animal less.

Some people are scared of dogs their whole lives (for example) because they've been attacked.
Does that mean all dogs on earth should change? Is the person making bad dogs change by holding a grudge against all dogs? Seriously, think about it.

You aren't going to make "all the mean women on earth" change just by not forgiving the few who have betrayed your trust.

You need forgiveness in your heart before you can start to heal. I'm assuming you are a Christian? If so, you need to trust God too. The real kind of trust. Not the fake trust that goes away as soon as the prayer ends.

We don't all suck, really.

And sure there are mean people out there, but it is not our job to single-handedly change everyone. If you aim to inspire change, it should come from divine inspiration from God, and nothing less.
You can tell the difference because if it's from GOD it will not have a tinge of desperation and past issues.

I guess I do have a choice. I could be more patient. At the same time I think in any relationship... some of my happiness will be in someone elses hands. That's part of what a relationship is about... being open to someone else.

I don't think we can compare dogs and women. Women can change.... dogs are animal and I expect a lot less from animals.

You know, me expressing myself about bad behavior does help change women. It's communication. It's me saying... I don't like this. So, I think it can help. But, it'll be okay... I don't want to have a grudge. But I think keeping a grudge... that wouldn't be good... and not forgiving women... people in general isn't good either.

Yeah I know, not all women are that bad. It's okay, thanks for replying =]

 

[Jeshuvan]

Hi.first of all get your eyes on Jesus.Then u can see all people through his eyes.Also when u have a strong relationship with him u will find it easier to have a great one with others.Just devote yourself to the work God has placed in front of you,and God will bring you a mate truly living 4 him that will blow your mind.God only gives the best of everything 2 them that r totally and truly living 4 him,Amen gbu John

 

[rachelsedge]

Solution, or at least what I think is the solution. I think a good part of the solution is in one word and that word is truth. Women, stick to that word and watch your world transform around you. Whether your one of the women I'm complaining about or not... or anyone really... will live in a much more clear world if you stick to the truth. The truth is not based off your feelings. Your feelings only tell you how YOU feel... It's not a guide to your life. If you think your feelings is your guide in life then you need to re-evaluate your life.

I think you just need to take your own advice here.
Feeling: All women are naggers, complain all the time, and are controlling. On the flip side, I've had experiences in the past few years that could lead me to believe that all men are liars, only have their own best in mind, are selfish, and will throw you under the bus when their own butt is on the line and you just can't trust them. But...
Truth: Not all women, and not all men, are like that.

 

[Buff_Old_Guy]

I understand lack of trust and being angry with the opposite sex. However, being angry at the entire gender is self serving. You're angry, bitter, and hurt by the core women in your life. Which is understandable. Your mom is supposed to take care of you, love you, and when you're hurt, make things better. They're not human in their children's eyes, they're not allowed to sin. In your case, your mother MAJORLY messed up, and I'm sure her stealing from you isn't her only sin against you.

As for your aunt, I'm assuming it's your mother's sister. I assume it's her sister because they seem similar. Now, anger is a SECONDARY emotion, meaning that hurt or pain came first. It sounds like your aunt is acting out of pain, frustration, and depression. This is my general profile, but I believe it has credibility.

As for you, get out of your house. You're miserable there. If you can't get out of your house, then grow up and above what's going on. See, we continue with behaviors because it does something for us. You like your emotional state (your anger and bitterness) to some degree. It gives you power and you have some sort of justification for it. I believe you're afraid, which is why you don't want to trust women. I also think you don't want to seek out healthier people (men in particular) because you want to stay the same. However, you posted this thread, so perhaps you want to change to some degree. You've got a lot of work to do. Starting now is so much better than starting tomorrow.

I love my mom. Yeah, she hurt me pretty bad... I seriously lost a lot of trust in her. My aunt did similar things to me too. Both my mom and aunt woke me up and made me realize I can't trust family, men and women, with money. But, it's cool. I got over it. I guess I'm just venting and want to talk to people about it.

I am scared. I'm afraid of rejection and vulnerability. I'm extra cautious with girls now. Women can mess a guy up. You'd think you'd be able to trust women. The sex that seems nicer and sweeter. But, it turns out... that THAT itself is why you have to be careful because you can get sucked into trusting one easily and then she can hurt you.

Thanks for replying

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Gotta love God....he gave us guys a wonderful coping mechanism. It's called the mental "ignore button". Let everything you don't like go in one ear and out the other. Full purpose solution. Example....Hey honey, can you take out the trash?....Sure, I'll get it in a minute....then just forget about it. When she nags about it later, in one ear and out the other. Wash...rinse....repeat. The number one thing to keep in mind is never argue, you lose if you try no matter how good your argument is. Just agree, it doesn't matter if your believed or not....how can you keep arguing with someone that just agrees with everything you say?

It makes all those things that used to drive you crazy amusing. It's an all purpose solution

 

[Donkeyfish07]

I am scared. I'm afraid of rejection and vulnerability. I'm extra cautious with girls now. Women can mess a guy up. You'd think you'd be able to trust women.

Thanks for replying

You have to make people earn your trust, otherwise you will just get let down all the time. This includes your male friends and non-relationship issues as well

 

[Relena7]

I wasn't comparing dogs to women. I was using it as a broad example of something we can't change.

You can't change other people. People can only change themselves.

 

[Buff_Old_Guy]

Okay all I know is people are good, mean, nice, shy and bitter. It doesn't matter if they are male. It doesn't matter if they are female. They all need to be shown respect because at the end of the day we are ALL God's children. Do you think that God approves of the way you spoke to your Aunt or your view on women in general? Is that the way you would like for someone to treat your daughter(if you had one)? Or your future wife? for them to be put in their place? You can't control the way people act or treat you but you can control the way you respond. I'm a lady and I am also a Christian. I have my "moods" where I can be like a bear and I just need to be alone. Does that make me a "troll"? Does that mean I "need to be put in my place"? I am sure that you are a good person and a good christian and I will pray that things are easier for you at home with your Aunt. But I'm not sure if you know how you are coming across or if your aware that some of things that you said could come across as being offensive to other Christian women on here. I'm not sure if I'm answering correctly but you did ask for our thoughts. So my thoughts is this I know what I'm worth as a Christian woman and I would never allow a man to disrespect me or make me feel less of a person no matter how I'm acting. I have come across men like this in the past we didn't get along and they are not a part of my life -At all. Period. I hate that your Aunt seems like someone that is hard to get along with but maybe God was testing you? If he was how do you think you would have scored on that one?

I don't know if God approves... because I think it was okay? I mean me expressing like that sent her the message and she received the message. She even agreed that she'd try to be less like that. I don't think talking to a woman super duper nicely all day everyday is going to show her... how bothered you are or mad you are... when your actually bothered and mad.

Would I want my daughter or future wife to be "put in their place?" It depends, on how it's done. If it's done with a just reason... yes... if not.. then no. For example, if my daughter was eating another human being... I'd want my son-in-law.. to scream and rebuke her and "put her in her place." In a righteous way. In other words, I think it's okay to correct people. I'm not advocating senseless rage. That being said...

"So my thoughts is this I know what I'm worth as a Christian woman and I would never allow a man to disrespect me or make me feel less of a person no matter how I'm acting."

What you said, seriously isn't right. I hope this is changing you mind.

I don't know if God was testing me. Maybe he tested me to rebuke her and I past the test... MAYBE. I don't know.

Thanks

 

[Crimson_Lark]

Growing up... I used to think most women were "more" good... maybe even more moral than men.

Now... I just have a somewhat cautious and bad view of them in general. I know it's not all of them... but I just have a bad vibe about them now.

For example, just as I'm typing this post... I'm kind of irked about how I think my aunt is trying to read what I'm typing. I think it. I suspect it because she has tried before and has bluntly lied about not doing so.. and on-top of that she smiled and laughed casually about it.

Anyways, as a kid and growing up through my teens, I always thought that women seemed to be our better half. They're sweet and innocent and thought of as the victims. (sigh) And I thought of it that way for most of my life... but today I said something that made me realize I just don't think like that anymore. I commented on my college professor and said, "all we(students) see is a woman lecturing really fast." That was criticism and you notice how I just said, "woman." The way I said that made me realize that this is how I think of women in general. I think most of them are bothersome and annoying sometimes. I feel like they want to be pampered and be understood like an annoying little brat at a grocery store. GIMMIE, GIMMIE, I want it my way... understand me... but I FEEL THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME. It's like a give women everything and men are suppose to be okay with giving her everything. I know it's not like that with all women but it has been like that with most of the women in my life.

I just wish the women in my life were easier going instead of trying to selfishly have it her way. I don't like my aunt sometimes. She can be one annoying woman. She complains and always notes negative things and even predicts negative things are going to happen if things don't go her way. I honestly sometimes can't even stand the sound of her voice. I've snapped at her a few times and I think that's what she needed. I yelled and she actually pipped down some. I told her that she gives me a head ache and she understood thanks to God. Anyways, point is.. her behavior has made the idea of not being around her an attractive idea and this is what I wanted to point out. Some of you women can be so freaking annoying that I don't want to be around you sometimes. So, if this applies to you... please try to keep your mouth shut and consider others around you. And no, I'm not going to try to be tact... it has to be said this way so YOU get the message and see how far it affects the men in your life around you. I feel like I want to just quit on some women in my life... because of how thoughtless and selfish these women can be. I'm done.

So, why is this in the singles forum? Easy... I think what I'm experiencing is something worth noting to the singles, both men and women, because I know there's men that have these problems with the women in their lives. And women should be aware and take notes so they don't make the men in their lives feel this way. This is a relationship problem among men and women.

In summary, I think women can SOMETIMES be fatalistic naggers or just nag in general but fatalistic naggers take the cake IMO, focused on utterly useless details (notice I was specific the kind of details and also note that THIS is an actual important detail to note), read between the lines and imagine entire universes around those made up thoughts and then on-top of all that... completely be convinced she's right about it all just because she feels like it.

Solution, or at least what I think is the solution. I think a good part of the solution is in one word and that word is truth. Women, stick to that word and watch your world transform around you. Whether your one of the women I'm complaining about or not... or anyone really... will live in a much more clear world if you stick to the truth. The truth is not based off your feelings. Your feelings only tell you how YOU feel... It's not a guide to your life. If you think your feelings is your guide in life then you need to re-evaluate your life.

Another part of the solution is just be easy going and understand that constantly complaining about not getting your way just makes people want to get stay away from you. Just be nice.

So, yeah, what are your thoughts?

I'm debating posting this since I don't really know you. I'm assuming you are a Christian because of the title of the site and that you understand what Christ has done. Since you asked for our thoughts, this is what I think.

What your mom did was unbelievably crappy. So that's why I think you should sit down and write out all the nasty things women have done to you. Make a very specific list.

Then willfully choose to forgive each person for each action on the list. Pray the forgiveness through, something like
this (the following is just an example prayer)

In the name of Jesus and as an act of my free will, I purpose and choose to forgive(the person) from my heart for (what they did). In the name of Jesus I cancel all their debts and obligations to me.

In the name of Jesus and by the power of His blood, I cancel Satan's authority over me in this memory and the resulting pain.

Holy Spirit, I invite you into my heart to heal me of this pain. Please speak words of truth about this situation.

​

Then write down any scriptures that are brought to mind.
Make sure you ask God to forgive you for any hatred or wrong judgement towards women and start praying for your mom. Clearly she needs change and she needs to know Christ and if she does know Him she isn't walking like it, so ask God to show you how to pray for her.

Don't let what others have done to you poison you and create problems for you. Use what Christ has done for us.

 

[Liamson]

I guess I do have a choice. I could be more patient. At the same time I think in any relationship... some of my happiness will be in someone elses hands. That's part of what a relationship is about... being open to someone else.

I don't think we can compare dogs and women. Women can change.... dogs are animal and I expect a lot less from animals.

You know, me expressing myself about bad behavior does help change women. It's communication. It's me saying... I don't like this. So, I think it can help. But, it'll be okay... I don't want to have a grudge. But I think keeping a grudge... that wouldn't be good... and not forgiving women... people in general isn't good either.

Yeah I know, not all women are that bad. It's okay, thanks for replying =]

I don't think it is that Some women are not THAT bad.

some women are not bad at all.

Some women are in fact amazing sub-angelic human beings with presence that captivates the soul and enriches every second you know them.

 

[arwen83]

I don't think it is that Some women are not THAT bad.

some women are not bad at all.

Some women are in fact amazing sub-angelic human beings with presence that captivates the soul and enriches every second you know them.

And all the ladies on CC in unison say "awwww!"

 

[BarlyGurl]

Good advice Crimson... for other people I have given similiar suggestion and then when done with the "forgiving" take the paper and burn it on the bar-b-q... as in this is FINAL... some people find that helpful. The scripture also says to live in peace with all "people" as much as it depends on you... so Buff can move away if that is what it takes for him to be at peace with them. Being habitually subjugated by by two women who should be helping him mature is completely unproductive... sometimes the relationship must be broken entirely for healing and then later can be rebuilt from a proper foundation.
Donkeyfish... could you take out the garbage please???

 

[Elizabeth619]

I'm not sure if even want to talk to you but okay. I think your just looking for trouble but for the sake of making things clear for everybody else... here you go and hopefully you understand me better after this too.

The way my aunt complains is different from how I complain. She is what I'd call a fatalistic complainer... she points out negative things and then assumes and is convinced bad things are going to happen. For example, one day, when I got into my car (the car was in parking position [key point]) from the passenger side... and tried to get into the drivers seat. (I forgot why but I did it that way) My foot accidentally turned off the car because it hit the keys. The keys were still in the car, in the on position. Anyways, my aunts face focused on that and stared and I said. "aunt its okay just go home." She stayed for a moment still focused and stared at my foot as if to supervise... and I said again "aunt don't worry just go" and she remarked in a complaining voice and crunched up her face, almost seemed like a sad face "but you turned off the car with youur foooot" I replied, "yeah I know, it's no big deal" and hesitantly she left. It wasn't a big deal but somehow some little accident seemed like a big deal. I think she's paranoid about little bad things.

Also, when were running against the clock... if I'm not moving at the pace she thinks is best... she assumes and says things like "your gonna be late", "Your late" but in reality... I can count the number of times I've been late on one hand in the past FEW YEARS. But imagine hearing that on a daily basis. It would get old and annoying really fast. I snapped at her once about that... I've tried explaining to her in a nice way several times by the way. Anyways, she can complain about things and is fatalistic about things.... it sucks.

I on the other hand... am complaining about a behavior that is clearly not right. That's the difference. Her complaints about me... are mostly unjust and my complaints about her are just.


I'm not sure if I let people control how I feel. I think if I do and did... then maybe it's because I open up to people and let others talk to me which would make me and anyone vulnerable. I can't help but be vulnerable. I'm actually a pretty sef-controlled emotionally but nobody is a stone.

About you telling me your reaction... if a man were to talk to you... the way I talked. This is why I doubted about replying to you. Again, I'm not saying that all women are like that... but there are definitely some.

Maybe, there are some things that need to be worked on in me. On the other hand, maybe my reactions were absolutely just. All said and done, woman still have issues aswell... some a hell lot more than others.

I snapped at her because after years of frustrating behavior. In that context, I think I was okay. When things get bad, real bad. I think it's okay to express how bad it is. Would you speak softly in the sight of murder or would you yell? It's clear that yelling would be just if not the only just thing to do.

No offence.

It actually didn't matter to me if you responded to my post or not. You asked for thoughts. I gave you mine. As far as looking for trouble. Not hardly. You can't expect everyone to agree with your attitude on everything. That's just life.

Anyway, I don't know why you felt the need to explain to me anything. There is no need to defend yourself here. People are going to irritate you. People are going to offend you, and then there are some people who you may just wish they never even existed. The key it to just not let it overwelm you. Walk away. Don't be around your aunt. Do something the keep you from losing your mind.
There isn't one person that posted in the thread that hasn't been irritated that same way you have. You're not alone here, but it is all in how you handle it.

Not all women are bad. I know ya know that, but don't let bad experiences with your aunt determine how you look at the rest of women. I am NOT trying to be mean here, but you could be missing out on finding a great girl by dwelling on the issues with your aunt. Don't let her actions make decisions for you.

Even if you do find someone don't expect to get along all the time. I have a wonderful guy in my life. We get along great, but we do argue. He is hard headed, and set in his ways. It drives me NUTS! Just yesterday he actually said to me "I'm sorry. I was wrong.".... I about fainted. I didn't know SORRY and WRONG was in his vocabulary....but we love each other and always work things out and move on and put it behind us.
Anyway, people are gonna bug ya, but don't let it get the best of you. It really isn't worth it.

 

[Elizabeth619]

I don't think it is that Some women are not THAT bad.

some women are not bad at all.

Some women are in fact amazing sub-angelic human beings with presence that captivates the soul and enriches every second you know them.

Oh give me a break! HA!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Oh give me a break! HA!

But I thought you were living proof of that, Beth.