In a wrap: Have standards, develop your self worth, focus on God's will exclusively at all costs.
It never ceases to amaze me how many adult women, allow themselves to be used and abused by men and then lament in despair and confusion about why it all came to be. In what should be a dating/getting to know you period, when there is no formal commitment involved;
"yes i'll sleep with you"
"yes i'll spending years (years of no formal commitment being made, picking up after his responsibilities) raising your children from another/other women"
"yes i'll be a doormat"
"yes i'll be used and abused"
"No I haven't bothered to see if you're a serious believer and committed your life to Christ"
"Yes I'll live with you / sleep with you / raise your children from someone else / pay your bills / it doesn't matter that you have no steady job / don't contribute / don't treat me with respect / haven't got marriage on the cards / - I will waste months / years of my life, and then when I see you leaving / find you with other women / wait for you to decide we're not compatible, I turn around and ask 'why' with a broken mind, body and spirit."
A person could be wonderful and do almost all the right things, but it doesn't take long to know from the Lord whether this is the right person according to His Will you are to be betrothed too. Rather than let that time slip away from you being devoted to someone who is not going to marry you and using you for their own agenda, it is up to you take initiative "This does not meet my expectations" and depart on your own accord instead of giving yourself and your life away.
Having self esteem, knowing you're the prize, not jumping like a dog to a bone each time he looks your way for attention, having expectations and standards of honesty, respect and commitment and following through with these are key in preventing bad experiences and attracting the right person according to God's will into your life.