A long time ago, in a thread far, far away... Er... Sorry. Got confused with the "Star Wars trailer" thread for a minute...
I always went back and forth with the thought of having kids. I was considered "very weird" at my Christian high school when I went through my "not going to have any" phases. And because I'm adopted, when I did want kids, I used to think about possibly having 4--2 by birth and 2 by adoption. Like Bruce, I thought twins would be cool and at one point, wanted 2 sets of twins.
At around 37, I realized I didn't absolutely HAVE to have kids (seeing as I had not even a potential date in sight), and that was VERY freeing. I had a bit of a mourning period in realizing I'd never have a biological relative, but I know it's going to be ok. I have NO intention of starting a family in my mid-40's... That's great for other people (especially Hollywood, apparently), but not me.
Personally, I think anyone who wants kids should take a crash course in child raising by volunteering to take someone's kids for a couple days and nights every week for at least 6 months and paying for all their needs on the days you have them. (I know many here are probably doing that with younger siblings or relatives and I have nothing but admiration for them.)
My last relationship ended when I was 29, and for 3 years I was a part-time single parent to a 4-year-old and 18-month old. I got a very good taste of what it's like to be a parent during that time. The mother had passed away long before I was ever in the picture, and the father was incapacitated most of the time, so I'd get calls from the daycare saying they needed to be picked up because their dad had failed to do so, etc. When the youngest was 3 years old, he still wasn't talking or potty-trained (and the older one was only partially trained) so I worked with them on that a lot, even though I had no clue as to what I was doing.
Their dad used to drop them off at my house a lot, so on the nights they stayed with me, I used to set an alarm twice a night and wake them up to go potty (I had no idea what else to do.) I took them to church alone, and tried my best to make sure they had Christmases, birthdays, etc., because their father was incapable of doing most any of that. I remember when the littlest one started saying his first words (with his big brother helping me coach him) and what an triumph that felt like.
But I also remember crying myself to sleep nearly every night and feeling like an utter failure, because I was angry at their father ALL the time.
One day, we were playing with Legos and the older child asked me, "Kim, why does God love us?" All my life, I'd been asking my parents and teachers the hard questions, so it was pretty interesting having it turned around!!! I tried to explain that the Lego things we were making were our creations... and that, in a much more complicated way, we are God's creations... But again. I was like, "Good grief, he's asking such a great question and I have no idea how to answer."
I couldn't even imagine what it must be like to raise kids through their teenage and young adult years. I'll tell you one thing, that experience left me with an IMMENSE amount of respect for parents, especially those who have to do it alone. I realized that nothing can really prepare you for parenthood except or actually having to take it on.