Dealing with the feeling of “good girl” entitlement

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Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,702
113
Georgia
#21
Keeping yourself in check...... what does that mean Pipp?
Check my motives. Am I doing this because its right and I wanna do whats right...or cause I know it'll earn me recognition.
 

up

Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,470
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#22
read some posts and makes me tear up lil bit, conviction of the Holy Spirit in reverse good guy entiltment etc, etc... it's not easy being A Christian, but it never was... God gets the Glory thru this madness here on earth and In all the Heavens , thank you Jesus for being Yours Forever!
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
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#23
Check my motives. Am I doing this because its right and I wanna do whats right...or cause I know it'll earn me recognition.


You went from work life to home life. I enjoyed both. Doing well at what I did at work. And coming home to someone That I was sharing my life with at the time... Sorry, I was just thinking about the good times, Reminiscing during these times. I've Lived awhile and loved a bit. All that I remember. About relationships is that they were great. Good, bad.right or wrong, I always loved and learned.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#24
hmm

I dont know that much about good girl entitlement but I do know that it doesnt really depend on my employer whether Im doing a good job or not cos often than not they dont seem to care as long as I show up but rather how the people that actually use the library (the children) feel...I would get little random notes and cards from them saying how much they like the library (and me) and that counted for more than anything a teacher or principal would say. It counted even more than the pay I would get. (though its nice to be actually paid)

Not sure if this is 'people pleasing' in that sense but I think Im doing this for God not anyone else and He does say that he doesnt stop children from entering His kingdom its for them.

Another thing I learned is we are free in Christ so traditional employer and employee relationships are sometimes turned on their head. This is the part where you learn grace, so even if you stuff up, God wants you there anyway and will keep you there until He finds something else for you to do.
 

up

Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,470
113
#25
hmm

I dont know that much about good girl entitlement but I do know that it doesnt really depend on my employer whether Im doing a good job or not cos often than not they dont seem to care as long as I show up but rather how the people that actually use the library (the children) feel...I would get little random notes and cards from them saying how much they like the library (and me) and that counted for more than anything a teacher or principal would say. It counted even more than the pay I would get. (though its nice to be actually paid)

Not sure if this is 'people pleasing' in that sense but I think Im doing this for God not anyone else and He does say that he doesnt stop children from entering His kingdom its for them.

Another thing I learned is we are free in Christ so traditional employer and employee relationships are sometimes turned on their head. This is the part where you learn grace, so even if you stuff up, God wants you there anyway and will keep you there until He finds something else for you to do.
verse comes to my Entire, Heart, Mind and Soul...

how we all started in Being Reborn And Faith...
For it is by grace(A) you have been saved,(B) through faith(C)—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
 

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Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,470
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#26
Ephesians 2:8
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,099
113
#27
verse comes to my Entire, Heart, Mind and Soul...

how we all started in Being Reborn And Faith...
For it is by grace(A) you have been saved,(B) through faith(C)—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
Lest we should boast.
 

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Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,470
113
#28
I was thinking same thought but I posted any ways
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#29
I'm not a girl, but I've had the gender equivalent experience. I found that when I pray before work, dedicating my work to God, in His name and for His glory, that I always have a great day, and I find favor with my employer. :cool:
I do the same each morning before heading out the door to work. It sets the stage for the rest of the day.
 

up

Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,470
113
#30
...

scratches head to coprehend-

just messing around d, I do understand, very clearly and picking up, what your laying down bro😎
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#31
is there 'good boy' entitlement too?
Prodigal sons' brother comes to mind.

I was more of the Prodigal daughter. I did leave home then came back. I think most children at some point want to leave home and experience the world, I dont really know of anyone these days who just always stays at home and never wants to leave, but I would think they would be blessed if they never wanted to leave home and happy where they are.

I think what tends to happen with children from christian homes is they leave home to marry another believer at a young age. However a lot of us were not raised in christian homes and that didnt happen.
 
Feb 10, 2014
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#32
I noticed something about myself lately. Al my life I’ve been a good child/teen, did as I was told (ish) and would often get rewarded for my good behavior. An extra treat, a word of praise, a toy - something. This was pretty constant through my formative years.

Now I’m an adult, 29, and I find myself getting frustrated when I am not given this extra attentiveness when doing a task. When I go above and beyond my job, stay later then usual, or follow a protocol, for some reason I keep excpecting to be treated “special” because I did the thing I’m being PAID FOR. I’m just sitting her annoyed thinking, “lady you get money what more do you want.” For some reason, I want an atta’girl. I want to be given special access or consideration. And I find myself becoming frustrated and weary when I don’t get it.

And I don’t like that I subconsciously EXPECT that. Does anyone else deal with this?
If you are the person I am thinking about in my news feed on Facebook, I would say I look forward to seeing your posts. Often, most of my Facebook "friends" post such negative posts that aim to drag everyone down.

Your posts are always a ray of sunshine in a cloudy day. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.

BTW. One of your recent posts is of Boba Fett shopping for paper towels.
 

Prycejosh1987

Active member
Jul 19, 2020
953
166
43
#33
Now I’m an adult, 29, and I find myself getting frustrated when I am not given this extra attentiveness when doing a task. When I go above and beyond my job, stay later then usual, or follow a protocol, for some reason I keep excpecting to be treated “special” because I did the thing I’m being PAID FOR. I’m just sitting her annoyed thinking, “lady you get money what more do you want.” For some reason, I want an atta’girl. I want to be given special access or consideration. And I find myself becoming frustrated and weary when I don’t get it.
I feel your pain, i am usually the hardest working person in the company, legit. My family are all the same, they work harder than the rest. Funny thing is my mum has never worked and when Nan looked after me she was already retired. I learnt hard work at church. From time to time, i receive congratulations and good words from my superiors. I have been offered promotions and pay rises, but usually they want me to work more hours.
 

AndyMaleh

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2020
863
532
93
43
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
#34
I noticed something about myself lately. Al my life I’ve been a good child/teen, did as I was told (ish) and would often get rewarded for my good behavior. An extra treat, a word of praise, a toy - something. This was pretty constant through my formative years.

Now I’m an adult, 29, and I find myself getting frustrated when I am not given this extra attentiveness when doing a task. When I go above and beyond my job, stay later then usual, or follow a protocol, for some reason I keep excpecting to be treated “special” because I did the thing I’m being PAID FOR. I’m just sitting her annoyed thinking, “lady you get money what more do you want.” For some reason, I want an atta’girl. I want to be given special access or consideration. And I find myself becoming frustrated and weary when I don’t get it.

And I don’t like that I subconsciously EXPECT that. Does anyone else deal with this?
As a good person, everyone, not just you, is entitled to good treatment from others.

Giving you extra thanks for a job well done is in fact enjoyable by good people. They don't feel obligated not one bit to do it out of entitlement to good treatment. It feels like a gift from God to receive such good work from someone like you and have the opportunity to genuinely thank you out of the depth of their heart.

Stop mixing up with bad people. I've quit jobs at very high-profile high-paying million/billion-dollar companies that I was doing well at just because the people at them were evil. It is never worth it to be in the presence of bad people (Facebook has been banging on my door almost every week for about 2-3 years trying to hire me in an executive position, and I've been steadfast in saying no).

Surround yourself by good people only and the feeling of "false entitlement" will disappear.

Godspeed.