For the accident analogy...
A person driving a car is a driver, right? If someone hits them does that mean they are no longer the driver?
If a girl is a virgin she is a virgin... Someone wrecking into her life doesn't change that.
I believe the following would be a proper way to illustrate this analogy as it is related to the thread topic:
body of car =>
body of woman
driver of car =>
soul of woman
virginity -->
body is "unspotted" ( still 'pure' - has never been 'altered' / 'changed' / 'touched' - still 'pristine' );
does not apply to driver / soul
car sustains 'hit and run' / woman is raped
body no longer 'virgin' ( no longer 'pure' - has been 'altered' / 'changed' / 'touched' - no longer 'pristine' )
body can never return to its original 'virgin' state
body will
never again be 'pure' or 'pristine'
-----
In the above illustration, 'virginity' describes a
state-of-existance of the
body --
relative to its original state. In no way is it
directly connected to the
driver / soul. ( except for the sake of identity -- "a virgin car" or "a virgin woman" )
There is no such thing as 'spiritual' virginity.
There is such a thing as 'spiritual' purity.
The meaning of 'purity' covers a whole spectrum of things - including some 'physical' things and some 'spiritual' things. ( 'virginity' is only one [ very specific ] thing, and is 100% 'physical' - and is a part of the 'physical' things of purity )
What is "spotted" --- is "spotted"... However...
"There may be personal shame involved with intentionally wrecking your own car -- there is none when you could not have prevented it."
The idea of 'shame' in this context is
not just a 'virginity' issue -- it is, in fact,
mostly a 'purity' issue.
In this context,
comparatively speaking:
'virginity' describes the
state-of-existance and
condition of the
body
'purity' describes the
state-of-existance and
condition of the
soul
Yes -- being a virgin - "pure and unspotted" ( "untouched" ) - when you marry -- is a "special gift" for the spouse.
And, yes -- from God's perspective -- there is some "shame" associated with the loss of it ( even in a case of rape ) before marriage.
There is more than one kind of 'shame' related to the loss of virginity.
The
personal shame mentioned above exists in some situations, but not in others. I believe that THIS is the kind of shame that the OP is thinking is being directly associated with virginity [ "by default" ].
Another kind of shame - based on the fact that God's intent and plan for us has been "violated" -
always applies...
Still another kind of shame - based on the "disappointment" that is experienced by the spouse -
usually applies...
'virginity' is only a
part of 'purity' -- it does not EQUAL or DEFINE 'purity'
"Don't get it all mixed up..." 
