Describe the perfect relationship!!

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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Ummmm.... But what about Jesus' tirade in the temple?

Please don't think I'm just arguing for the sake of argument. I'm actually enjoying this :)
Again, it goes back to the point I made in the previous posts.

How were the temple merchants viewing and handling money? They saw the market as a place to make a sale, not a sacred place of worship or for God to connect with His people, as He intended.

Jesus overturned their businesses because profit and material opportunity had become more important than the purposes of God. In other words, turn the church into Walmart, and yes, God is going to be upset.

This is exactly what happened in the Garden of Eden as well. Adam and Eve's own curiosities and desire for knowledge overruled their choice to put God's commands first.

Two different scenarios with two different vehicles (money vs. a piece of fruit), but the principle root - putting human interests above God's - is the same.

People always seem to see the money as the main issue, but the underlying cause (rebellion against God) is the real problem. Money is just a very prominent means by which people choose to rebel against God's principles for us, and usually the focal point for most people if they're just looking at the surface.
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
Precisely! The original sin! And nothing puts an exclamation point on that like money! I think we're actually saying the same thing. So, back to the relationship issue.... Goals, responsibility, desires and such. It just occurred to me that this is a perfect example of how men and women think differently.... :)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,965
2,301
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Precisely! The original sin! And nothing puts an exclamation point on that like money! I think we're actually saying the same thing. So, back to the relationship issue.... Goals, responsibility, desires and such. It just occurred to me that this is a perfect example of how men and women think differently.... :)
As I hope I expressed in my posts, I don't believe that money by itself or even the love of money is that a root of ALL evil, since the Bible says the love of money is the root of many kinds of evil, but not all.

Other than that, I agree with some of your points, not all, but find what you have to say interesting.☺️
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
647
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Ummmm.... But what about Jesus' tirade in the temple?

Please don't think I'm just arguing for the sake of argument. I'm actually enjoying this :)
There's no sin in anger, no? I am pretty convinced (the more I think about it and the further I doubt my own wisdom) that any "sin" could be pretty easily defined as "transgression against God His person and God's law". All that follows - like things injurious to mates or others, infidelities either physical or spiritual, worshiping things before God like money or work or even family, or the myriad of other issues that beset hopeful marriages fall under the REQUIREMENT of consequence. That's right, I said "requirement" because transgressions lead to the "vengeance of God" or the natural consequence (tragedy) for humankind.

To me, this is why Christ came as the fulfillment of the law which (in a word) is Grace. Forgiveness. Mercy. Not that the law and the transgression of such is ignored, but that if it is forgotten or crossed or double crossed that there is a chance to heal from the consequence. This "spirit" of Grace is a kind of 'savior' of marriage. Do you see the miracle?? God is everywhere.....
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
As I hope I expressed in my posts, I don't believe that money by itself or even the love of money is that a root of ALL evil, since the Bible says the love of money is the root of many kinds of evil, but not all.

Other than that, I agree with some of your points, not all, but find what you have to say interesting.☺️
My premise is that, in this day and age, money is the one thing that turns people away from God the most. No man can serve two masters. And thank you, this has been very interesting!
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
Addendum: And if a man has a wife, he certainly can't serve three! :)

"One flesh" is the goal in a relationship!
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
There's no sin in anger, no? I am pretty convinced (the more I think about it and the further I doubt my own wisdom) that any "sin" could be pretty easily defined as "transgression against God His person and God's law". All that follows - like things injurious to mates or others, infidelities either physical or spiritual, worshiping things before God like money or work or even family, or the myriad of other issues that beset hopeful marriages fall under the REQUIREMENT of consequence. That's right, I said "requirement" because transgressions lead to the "vengeance of God" or the natural consequence (tragedy) for humankind.

To me, this is why Christ came as the fulfillment of the law which (in a word) is Grace. Forgiveness. Mercy. Not that the law and the transgression of such is ignored, but that if it is forgotten or crossed or double crossed that there is a chance to heal from the consequence. This "spirit" of Grace is a kind of 'savior' of marriage. Do you see the miracle?? God is everywhere.....
Any sin can also be defined as turning away from God. If you're not seeking God's will, then you must only be serving your own. :)
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
2,706
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So...Lol, if you just removed money from the equation.... what would men and women have left to argue about? :)
What to watch on tv what ever is bothering the woman and its suddenly the guys fault (sometimes it is) lots if nitpicks
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
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Regarding marital SACRIFICE... having been a military brat and career Marine myself...
Yes - Spousal responsibilities and expectations are different from personal sacrifices necessary for a healthy and enduring relationship...

Consider the quest of Champions - so many of their stories stem from their personal willingness and commitment to make sacrifices - what are they willing to give up in order to become the very best at what they do...
They typically are willing to give up such things as: drinking, sleeping-in, unhealthy foods, bad-habits, partying, hanging out with the guys, being a couch-potato, being a fanatic sports spectator...

Translate that to an earnest effort to be the best spouse possible: putting ones family and spouse first (and your desires/needs last). A husband might sacrifice sleep, guilty pleasures (NFL/College Football/Golf/Video Games) or his own health in order to meet the needs of his wife's inner most desire for his emotional availability. Especially when she needs him most and he may not even be cognizantly aware, because he is too pre-occupied not making those necessary personal sacrifices for the good of the relationship ...

Consider marital sacrifices as being those things that 'exceed expectations' or those little things that go un-said to surprise her and make her feel special...

"It's better to be married than to be right"... ie sacrifice fighting over having to be right over the little things...
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
2,706
1,760
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If you got 10 minutes this is a good song about the odd nitpicks in marriage 😁
 

LittleMermaid

Well-known member
Apr 23, 2019
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The perfect relationship is one where the guy feeds me egg rolls and brownies.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,965
2,301
113
So...Lol, if you just removed money from the equation.... what would men and women have left to argue about? :)
"Without money, couples would be sitting at home staring at each other..."

I must disagree. Greed, or the love of money, is the root of all evil. Money is man's wisdom, not God's. We are all slaves of a system that we created for ourselves in the name of monitary prosperity. If we remove that slavery, then don't we focus more upon God's actual will and wisdom in our lives? Have you ever wondered what the millennial reign will be like? Do you believe there will still be money in God's kingdom? I believe that today we are so far removed from God's original intention that, even with His word, we can't see that far back anymore. The irony is that we were so severely judged.... and apparently, just as foolish then.
GtrPkr, I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to pry, but I'm going to take a little stab in the dark here...

After reading some of your posts, I'm guessing that you've suffered a lot of hurt due to the issues of money and greed? Is there anything you'd like to share, or that we might be able to assist you with/pray for you?

I'm not meaning to get into your personal business at all (feel free to say, "Mind your own business, Seoul!" if you don't want to say anything about it,) but I'm noticing a common theme behind several of your posts and am wondering what the back story is.

What can we do to help, even if it's just to listen? :)[/QUOTE]
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
Regarding marital SACRIFICE... having been a military brat and career Marine myself...
Yes - Spousal responsibilities and expectations are different from personal sacrifices necessary for a healthy and enduring relationship...

Consider the quest of Champions - so many of their stories stem from their personal willingness and commitment to make sacrifices - what are they willing to give up in order to become the very best at what they do...
They typically are willing to give up such things as: drinking, sleeping-in, unhealthy foods, bad-habits, partying, hanging out with the guys, being a couch-potato, being a fanatic sports spectator...

Translate that to an earnest effort to be the best spouse possible: putting ones family and spouse first (and your desires/needs last). A husband might sacrifice sleep, guilty pleasures (NFL/College Football/Golf/Video Games) or his own health in order to meet the needs of his wife's inner most desire for his emotional availability. Especially when she needs him most and he may not even be cognizantly aware, because he is too pre-occupied not making those necessary personal sacrifices for the good of the relationship ...

Consider marital sacrifices as being those things that 'exceed expectations' or those little things that go un-said to surprise her and make her feel special...

"It's better to be married than to be right"... ie sacrifice fighting over having to be right over the little things...
Aren't the most meaningful sacrifices we make the ones required to maintain our integrity as Christians? If both the husband and the wife have already agreed upon those sacrifices then what's left? At that point, all they CAN do is continue to encourage each other in small intimate ways. But, if one is committed to that kind of Christian relationship but the other is not.... then all you ever have is conflict and the Christian must take full responsibility and blame for the relationship. I believe there must be a line there, a limit to a Christian's integrity and responsibility, especially when your spouse becomes your enemy BECAUSE you're a Christian and does everything he/she can to undermine the marriage despite your faith and commitment to God.
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
GtrPkr, I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to pry, but I'm going to take a little stab in the dark here...

After reading some of your posts, I'm guessing that you've suffered a lot of hurt due to the issues of money and greed? Is there anything you'd like to share, or that we might be able to assist you with/pray for you?

I'm not meaning to get into your personal business at all (feel free to say, "Mind your own business, Seoul!" if you don't want to say anything about it,) but I'm noticing a common theme behind several of your posts and am wondering what the back story is.

What can we do to help, even if it's just to listen? :)
[/QUOTE]
Thanks for that Seoul! :) But there's really nothing to say... At the end, 21yrs of marriage was simply reduced to a pile of figures that I had to sign off on... just so I could start all over again. The truth is, I'm quite blessed with the opportunity.
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
Speaking of feelings, intimacy, romance.... There has been a lot of talk about what one can do to make the other "feel" loved. Now, I'm obviously jaded lol, so take this with a grain of salt... but I'm convinced that "feelings" are primarily a woman's domain. In so much that a woman's feelings will dominate and guide her desires away from good God given common sense. You'll just have to believe me when I say that I know full well what it is to cater to an irrational woman's feelings! The problem is, that seems to be expected of a man... the same way that working to provide is. Women can use the way they feel moment by moment as an excuse to justify ANYTHING! But, of course, the man is always expected to be the dutiful, level headed, responsible one.... EVEN IF IT MAKES HIM THE BAD GUY!!! Women are always accusing men of being emotionally distant and unattainable.... BULLCRAP!!! A man's ability to shut down emotionally is the only self defense he has against what a woman's feelings demand! Just throwing that out there.... :)
 
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AuntieAnt

Guest
Many of you have repeated the word "sacrifice". Why? If you have enough in common and you're both equal partners working to achieve the same goals then.... What's there to sacrifice?
In Matthew 9:13 we read: Jesus then admonished the Pharisees. “Go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice'”

You're right, GtrPkr. A husband or wife is a gift from God. It should not be a sacrifice to love your spouse and be merciful to them.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,417
1,639
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Speaking of feelings, intimacy, romance.... There has been a lot of talk about what one can do to make the other "feel" loved. Now, I'm obviously jaded lol, so take this with a grain of salt... but I'm convinced that "feelings" are primarily a woman's domain. In so much that a woman's feelings will dominate and guide her desires away from good God given common sense. You'll just have to believe me when I say that I know full well what it is to cater to an irrational woman's feelings! The problem is, that seems to be expected of a man... the same way that working to provide is. Women can use the way they feel moment by moment as an excuse to justify ANYTHING! But, of course, the man is always expected to be the dutiful, level headed, responsible one.... EVEN IF IT MAKES HIM THE BAD GUY!!! Women are always accusing men of being emotionally distant and unattainable.... BULLCRAP!!! A man's ability to shut down emotionally is the only self defense he has against what a woman's feelings demand! Just throwing that out there.... :)
I feel that, bro!
 
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GtrPkr

Guest
Still loving that avatar Didymous!!! :)
 
May 20, 2017
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Perfect? hmmm, well - I still haven't had that, but I would venture to say that where both people are much better together than apart and one where each place God's will and desires (and not their own) first and foremost.