Describe the perfect relationship!!

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,255
1,081
113
#82
That is so sad... On a Christian blog site I expected all kinds of God-fearing Folk to tell all kinds of great stories about true love and commitment within a Christian based marriage. Hmmm....
"There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, just two imperfect people who refuse to quit on each other." Unknown...

So, in my humble christian opinion: the perfect christian relationship is - when two people vow to love each other unconditionally 'till death do them part' - have each other's back at all cost... When one is drowning - the other serves as their life raft and vice versa... Their pact is the perfect partnership of give and take and division of roles and responsibilities to best contribute to the unified effort...

To have someone who is willing to make significant sacrifices for the betterment of the team. To have the ideal companion - who's smitten just to be breathing the same air as their significant other; who selflessly surprises you with little things: notes with smiley faces; morning starbucks or Wawa's coffee; unexpected hugs, holding hands, cuddling on the sofa & innocent kisses... Someone who makes a point of making you feel special and letting you know that you are appreciated and that you are absolutely and unconditionally loved for all eternity...
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#83
My simple description of a perfect relationship :giggle:

50d760d3b41f9095212645cfde186702.jpg old-couple-holding-hands.jpg
 

LittleMermaid

Well-known member
Apr 23, 2019
256
277
63
#84
Well Jesus is perfect...so I think the perfect relationship would be one where both man and woman are motivated to work for Christ and his kingdom. That means they are both willing to do whatever God wants and to honor each other as well.
They are a team that focuses on their ultimate goal of giving God all the glory. :giggle:
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
5,482
1,555
113
#85
Very true, my sister and her partner are opposites and continually argue all the time. She really wishes they were more alike.
At first the differences were appealing but down the track they became irritations.
It really depends on the nature of the differences, are we talking personality traits or character flaws? I would agree that having at least some interests in common is a good thing, having similar life goals in common is a good thing (two people heading in different directions tend to have problems).

Outside of that two persons who are too much alike can actually be a bad thing (I mean really, do you want to marry your clone?). Opposites can (and should) complement each other. Where one is weak the other should be strong.
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
2,452
1,548
113
#86
No, a highly obedient and sexy ZOMBIE !!!!! :)
No, a highly obedient and sexy ZOMBIE !!!!! :)
manofculture.jpg 6ca79af665a7c0e9f9ee7c9d872d4aac.jpg
Lol couldn't resist 😁 im attracted to weird. Perfect marriage 🤔 we'd have to be equally broken nothing says good relationship than tending to eachothers problems. God fearing and loving of course is a must easier said than done today. I dont want to sound shallow but I like woman I find attractive of course not being so myself thats a tall order :cool:
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
#88
Many of you have repeated the word "sacrifice". Why? If you have enough in common and you're both equal partners working to achieve the same goals then.... What's there to sacrifice?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,765
2,034
113
#89
Many of you have repeated the word "sacrifice". Why? If you have enough in common and you're both equal partners working to achieve the same goals then.... What's there to sacrifice?
Plenty.

I come from a family in which I'm the only one who is divorced. Everyone else is or was married until death did they part. In most cases, the husband provided, while the wife stayed at home and raised the kids (but went back to work when the kids were older.) Each set of couples had common goal, like raising their kids in Christian homes, sending them to Christian schools and college - but they also had to make tons of sacrifices in order to make any of that happen, often in the form of spending time with their family or with each other.

Providing for an entire family on one income meant long hours at work and away from home, leaving spouses little to no time spent together, and one spouse virtually raising the kids alone. It also meant moving to new places, giving up old friends, close family, familiar jobs, and isolating one or both spouses as they tried to adjust to a new life.

Having equal partners with common goals is great, but that doesn't mean the opportunities necessary to meet those goals will coincide with their plans or even help strengthen their relationship.
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
2,452
1,548
113
#90
Many of you have repeated the word "sacrifice". Why? If you have enough in common and you're both equal partners working to achieve the same goals then.... What's there to sacrifice?
As Seoul said every good relationship requires sacrifice. Family or even close friends especially marriage. Perhaps this is why so many millennials dont want to marry.
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
#91
I grew up a military brat and am X-military myself so, I've never considered working to pay the bills as a sacrifice. Working to support your family is a responsibility, and is mostly expected of men.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,111
1,133
113
#92
I grew up a military brat and am X-military myself so, I've never considered working to pay the bills as a sacrifice. Working to support your family is a responsibility, and is mostly expected of men.
That a nice idea, but I'm not sure those expectations are equally as strong and respected in all segments of society. Those who study poverty often find that it's the women who are the more stable ones holding things together while the men when they have problems with one of their women (wife, sister, mother, whoever they're staying with at the time) just take off and go to another until the stuff blows over.

In this case I think sacrifice is used in a sense to mean you can't have everything you want so you have to choose, and in a marriage you have to compromise when your wants conflict. Most responsibilities require some sort of sacrifice, and about the only time we don't feel it is when whatever goal we're working toward is so valuable to us that we only see the goal and don't stop to think about what we can't have along with the goal.
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
#93
That a nice idea, but I'm not sure those expectations are equally as strong and respected in all segments of society. Those who study poverty often find that it's the women who are the more stable ones holding things together while the men when they have problems with one of their women (wife, sister, mother, whoever they're staying with at the time) just take off and go to another until the stuff blows over.

In this case I think sacrifice is used in a sense to mean you can't have everything you want so you have to choose, and in a marriage you have to compromise when your wants conflict. Most responsibilities require some sort of sacrifice, and about the only time we don't feel it is when whatever goal we're working toward is so valuable to us that we only see the goal and don't stop to think about what we can't have along with the goal.
Aaah.... So you're suggesting there's a natural difference between wants and goals... and THAT'S where men and women primarily differ?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,765
2,034
113
#94
I grew up a military brat and am X-military myself so, I've never considered working to pay the bills as a sacrifice. Working to support your family is a responsibility, and is mostly expected of men.
This is an awesome and very commendable point of view (for all you guys out there tho believe this, please don't change that!), but I also think that many people don't anticipate the harsh realities that come with it.

I can only speak from what I've seen, so others might have different experiences.

I wrote a thread about this a while ago which basically said, "Ladies, are you looking for a man who is a great provider? That's wonderful! Just don't expect to ever actually see him, and start preparing yourself to raise your kids alone, while still being faithful to the husband who is working so hard for you, but will be prevented from spending time with you because of that very work. Don't sit on the internet all day chatting with other men who are 'just friends', because that will change very quickly."

"Guys, are you looking to provide for your families? That's awesome!!! Just don't be surprised when your wife is angry that you're never there and accuses you of never helping with the kids, even though it's not your fault. Be prepared, because the devil is going to throw some sweet-talking, understanding young thing your way to tempt you, and God will expect you to remain faithful to your wife."

Now, this is NOT a knock to men AT ALL, but rather, speaks to the harsh realities of life. I'm sure there are some men who can land a high-paying, 40-hour a week, 9-5 job with weekends off that can amply provide for their families, but I have yet to see it. In other words, singles get married to try to cure loneliness, but marriage and kids will often leave them feeling more alone than they've ever been in their lives, and God will expect them to stay and keep on serving the spouse who is never there, whether physically or emotionally.

My Dad has a saying, "40 hours a week is a part-time job," because although the men in my family did (do) indeed provide, typical work weeks for them are 60-100+ hours, not including commuting time (which for some, is 2 hours in either direction.)

If you take 60 hours plus 12 hours for commuting (I'm counting 6 days here, because they often have to work 6-7 days a week), that doesn't leave much room or energy for family or spousal time. And even in many of the families with two parents working, they are often forced to take opposite shifts so that someone is home with the kids all the time, because they can't afford daycare.

This means that even though spouses might be working towards the same goal (caring for and raising their children), they are spending almost all their time alone or with other people, which is not exactly healthy for the marriage. I'm very thankful that God preserved the marriages within my family, but this seems to be the exception and not the rule.

I worked with several people whose marriages broke up because they were working so much and spent so much time apart, other activities (and persons) started to fill that void instead.

Common goals are a great start, but actually meeting them with your marriage intact is a whole different story.
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
#95
So...Lol, if you just removed money from the equation.... what would men and women have left to argue about? :)
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,646
693
113
Philippines Age 40
#96
So...Lol, if you just removed money from the equation.... what would men and women have left to argue about? :)

You kept asking that question. Lol!

No one should ever argue about money because when we die, we cannot take our money to the grave. Those we left behind will take all the money. :p
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,765
2,034
113
#97
So...Lol, if you just removed money from the equation.... what would men and women have left to argue about? :)
You kept asking that question. Lol!

No one should ever argue about money because when we die, we cannot take our money to the grave. Those we left behind will take all the money. :p
I know you keep asking that question as well, GtrPkr.

If I can be honest without getting into too much trouble, if money was removed from the equation, I'm guessing that the next most frequently argued-about topic would be sex, followed closely by children (and whether or not to have any, how many, how to raise them, etc. if the couple didn't have children, because without money, couples would be sitting at home staring at each other.)

And if a couple didn't want to have children, I'm betting they would eventually find something to disagree on, such as why isn't the other helping out more in the garden, because that's just human nature, and what would happen if two people were cooped up together all the time with no means of going anywhere or doing anything (remember, no money, no groceries either, so they would likely have to plant their own food, or steal their neighbor's dog.)

Now of course, I might very well be wrong.

But if I were a betting kind of person, I might even put money on that theory.

Except, you said that in this example, money isn't allowed. ;) (Can I bet 13 home-grown carrots on my theory instead?)
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
#98
"Without money, couples would be sitting at home staring at each other..."

I must disagree. Greed, or the love of money, is the root of all evil. Money is man's wisdom, not God's. We are all slaves of a system that we created for ourselves in the name of monitary prosperity. If we remove that slavery, then don't we focus more upon God's actual will and wisdom in our lives? Have you ever wondered what the millennial reign will be like? Do you believe there will still be money in God's kingdom? I believe that today we are so far removed from God's original intention that, even with His word, we can't see that far back anymore. The irony is that we were so severely judged.... and apparently, just as foolish then.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,765
2,034
113
#99
"Without money, couples would be sitting at home staring at each other..."

I must disagree. Greed, or the love of money, is the root of all evil. Money is man's wisdom, not God's. We are all slaves of a system that we created for ourselves in the name of monitary prosperity. If we remove that slavery, then don't we focus more upon God's actual will and wisdom in our lives? Have you ever wondered what the millennial reign will be like? Do you believe there will still be money in God's kingdom? I believe that today we are so far removed from God's original intention that, even with His word, we can't see that far back anymore. The irony is that we were so severely judged.... and apparently, just as foolish then.
"For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." (1 Timothy 6:10.)

Yes, the love of money CAN lead to evil, but it's not the root of all evil.

Adam and Eve's original sin and disobedience was not based on money at all.

While I definitely agree that the love of money CAN lead to evil, I have to disagree that it's the root of all evil. Interestingly, when Jesus was on earth, the people asked him whether they should be paying taxes to Caesar, and the overlording Roman government.

Jesus simply asked for a coin and whose picture was on it. When the people answered, "Ceasar's," Jesus told them, "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and unto God, what is God's." (Matt. 22:21.)

It's always interested me that Jesus didn't go on a tangent about how greedy Caesar or the Roman government was. I'm not saying at all that Jesus somehow agreed with them, but that basically He was just saying, "Do what God has commanded you when it comes to money, which means paying taxes and being a Godly citizen."

I know this is different from the example you have in mind (greed within marriage.) But I've always found this passage to be a profound statement of how God feels about money.

Yes, the LOVE of it CAN lead to many evils... but the actual root behind money is that it's a tool, and like any tool, we can choose to use it to serve God, or not.

No, there won't be money in God's heavenly kingdom, but our time on earth is a training'testing period for life within that kingdom.

And one of the major training programs here on earth seems to be in how we view and handle money, hinting that in God's kingdom, there will be even more powerful systems at hand, for which learning how to properly view and handle money here on earth might be a prerequisite.
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
Ummmm.... But what about Jesus' tirade in the temple?

Please don't think I'm just arguing for the sake of argument. I'm actually enjoying this :)