I am 100 percent responsible for my divorce, i had an absolutely sweet and wonderful husband, he was a press reporter and a creative soul, he fell in love with me because i was as he put it "a jack of all trades"
We were both techies too and would actually give eachother weird stuff like external harddrives and fancy software as Christmas gifts LOL. Other people chuckled and mocked us but it was our little world.
We had a cat called sasha and a little nest of pure love in the heart of Manhattan. Every morning we would have breakfast at the local café and i loved watching him read his morning paper while the sun rays filled the café's terrace and i would doodle faces on napkins while waiting for our order.
He took care of all the Financial aspect of our life and he spoiled me to the extreme. I was literally like a princess, i would spend hours shopping while he worked and he would take me to the best jazz clubs, he would insist i followed him around his trips to press or political events, staying in the best hôtels, enjoying car trips out of town, and stopping for pictures at local sceneries. He would laugh at me while i painted my nails in the moving car and managed to change outfits just on time for the next event.
We were of different races and whenever one of his colleagues or callous friends made a racist remark he would get angry and defend me against them. He knew i loved him and had the proudest look on his face when i got dressed up before we went out to some party, we actually looked beautiful together too. He bragged about my Art to his family and close friends, and made me discover his native island, his family of fishermen.
What brought destruction to this beautiful story is that i was a non christian and a selfish wife, i got used to being taken care of and failed to take up my own burden in the work. Yes i did take excellent care of our home, i was even a perfectionist in that area, made sure everything was spotless and even his underwear was ironed and drawers filled with lavender sachets.
But i was shopping all the time, obsessed with decorating and improving, content with being a stay at home artist while he went out and fought against the whole world for the both of us. And i didnt see when my poor husband started to sink.....slowly but surely.
His employer played an evil trick on him and work started slowing down, but i was too busy being a selfish princess to take notice, and he would come home drained, collapsing on the sofa while i went around making mental notes of what next i wanted to go shopping for....
tears still flow down when i remember such shameful things i did, but yes i was horrible and it killed his love for me.
God saved me because i was a wicked woman among righteous and honorable people, i was lost and so confused about what really mattered in life. And sadly when i was saved, and i repented of all that evil, he was already burnt out from all the abuse i had put him through.
He was just like rett in gone with the Wind, at the end of his patience and love, and i was left behind because i deserved it, and i know that. But oh how i wish he knew the level of my sincere repentance and how i wish he saw the hope of Jesus Christ in me. But it was too late, i had done too much and there was no redemption of his love. So he left me, his heart became hard as stone and he hated me with as much passion as he had loved me.
Today we are divorced and i pray God has blessed him with a better wife, and i on the other hand i'm grateful because God has worked in my life and brought me out of all that wickedness. He is preparing me, i hope, to be a better wife someday
may God have mercy on all the wicked wives who are still today blind to the harm they're doing and may God show also mercy to evil husbands who abuse their wives. May God help us all to become better people, for his glory. Amen.
